Chapter 1: The Rejection

Azalea Johnson’s POV

And of course, that was merely 19 years ago. I was a happy 7 years old kid that knew nothing about real-life even I had experienced failure once. Nothing can stop me now.

the alarmed beeped as I was groaning in my bed. I clicked on the alarm as I was turning to look at it. 7:30 AM. still too early but I have to get up. I have been waiting for this day ever since I got my offer to study oceanography at one of the most exclusive New York University. I cannot let me pursue lost just yet.

I stood up from the bed, staggering backward a bit as the blood rushed to my head. Everything was blurry before I grabbed myself and stopped me from stumbling ahead. I went to sit back on the bed for a while before I stretched and yawned at the same time. That felt good.

“Well, good morning, River,” I said to my cat as he was coming to purr at my feet. I chuckled before I went to the kitchen and he happily followed me.

“Okay, okay, relax,” I said as I put the food in his bowl. He went to eat it happily in the morning. well, glad you have your breakfast then, I thought as I moved to the coffee machine and I made myself a coffee, all black. I like the smell of coffee in the morning. The summer was finally here as I went to open the window and it was nice to feel the breeze from the sea.

the machine beeped and I went to pour myself a glass. I took it to the window and sat there for a while as I enjoyed the sunlight. River went to my feet and I picked him up as he was purring on my lap.

“I hope nothing can get worse than this,” I said as I was enjoying the morning as nothing can ruin it. oh, how wrong I was on that notion.

It seems like everything was worse than the rain started after I went out of the house, without my umbrella. I mean, it supposed to be summer, and why the sky was pouring it tears! I wanted to catch a cab but it went away as well as splashed me some of the dirty water that was on the road.

and that was not the worse of all. I went to the meeting that I was supposed to be for my grant funding but it only turned out that I have to wait for next month to get approved. I mean, science cannot wait for tomorrow, it has to be done today.

“what do you mean my research was similar to someone? Surely the path of immigration of the plankton in the ancient ocean and how it’s deposit can tell the prediction of the future ocean was something that no one has come up with,” I said as I went to look at my advisor. She was my father’s colleague once upon a time when she was up and running. I called her Aunt Maeve as she was of Scotland Heritage.

“I know, but it has been claimed by someone. And they have been some progress on their research as well,” she said calmly as I was pacing back and forth in her room. I was frustrated. Not only I was wet to the meeting and late, but I was also being denied because someone has progressed in their research.

“Are you sure it was not mine that they stole? It could be that case,” I said as I was sitting on a chair in front of her desk. She sighed. I sighed. hell, I don’t even think that today might be the day that I regret joining the graduate school.

“look, I know you wanted to make your father proud but I think it is for you to write another proposal to the Scientific American Community and National Science Funding. It will help to clear your mind as well,” she said as she took my hand. I was pissed off but I tried to control it, for her sake.

“Okay, I will try but please don’t tell my father. He would be very disappointed in me,” I said as I looked at her. She smiled at me.

“Lea, your father would never be disappointed in you. You’re his best student,” she said with a laugh. I smiled. No doubt about that, I attended my undergraduate in Sydney where he was a professor back then. But now, he was happily back home in New York where we all belonged. Have my family belonged?

“Okay, thanks for the support. I see you tomorrow then to help me with the new proposal since my latest one has been claimed,” I said as I took my stuff and stood up from the chair.

“I’m pleased to help you. 10 AM?” She asked me. I nodded.

“see you tomorrow,” I said as I went out of the room. I was busy looking at my phone that I forgot to look where I was going until I bumped into someone. My file was scattered on the floor.

“Sorry,” I mumbled as I picked it up before I touched the other person’s hand. It was a familiar touch before I looked at who was it.

Shit!

My ex-boyfriend, Silas, was holding my file. I was smiling at him out of politeness before we went to stand up and he handed me my file.

“so, I heard you got rejected,” he said. So much for humiliation and embarrassment. I smiled at him, trying to keep myself appeared strong about it.

“yeah, I was not feeling great about it either. But, I have another proposal to send to the scientific American Community,” I said as I put the stuff into my bag. And of course, that was a lie as well.

“huh, well, good luck with that. I hope you get the funding,” meaning I would like for you to try and beat me at my own game.

“thanks” meaning I will.

“Okay, then. I have to go. Maya would be furious if I was late,” he said as he went out of my way. I smiled at her.

“Tell her I said hi,” I said as I went to the exit door. Maya was a chemistry Ph.D. student. And Silas was a geotectonic Ph.D. candidate. I felt worse than ever after meeting him. Now I just wanted to let loose and went out of this reality.

The one thing that I liked when I went to let loose was swimming. It was the hobby that I have passion from my dad as he would always bring me to the ocean near his lab whenever he was free and off duty.

I even learned how to swim from him. I smiled at the thought as I went to my locker at the swimming facility on campus. The students and the faculty can use it whenever they liked but I prefer in the night as I was alone and it helped me to think about my fate right now.

I put all my stuff inside the locker before I headed to the swimming pool. It was an indoor pool and I feel at home. It has been nice to have a pool back at my apartment but I was a broke Ph.D. student that I failed to move to a luxurious apartment.

I put my towel onto the bench as I went to stand at the edge of the pool. I stretched as my father always warned me to not go inside the water and do not stretch. It can be caused some cramped and I don’t want to know the end of it.

after I warmed up, I went to touch the water. It was cold but warm enough for me to jump inside. Since the summer season was just around the corner, I could not help but feel a lot better.

I took my position and took a deep breath. I dived. The warm water was tickling my face as I went to stroke my arms and swam around the pool. I was breathing heavily as the water was covering my face as I made my laps. I did not stop until I feel tired.

once I was over the edge of the pool, I held onto the edge and wiped my face. I took a deep breath. The lights were shining on the ceiling as I was staring out of the building. There were stars tonight. I might as well feel cozy in my apartment, sipping on my hot cocoa, and River napped on my laps.

but I preferred it here tonight. I went to float on the water and just swam around. I was closing my eyes as I was remembering my sweet memory with my father, my mother, the news about my new sister, and my failure of the ballet.

that shocked my whole body before I sat up straight in the pool. My heart beat faster. I haven’t thought about it since that day when I went to the Aquarium and wanted to be an oceanographer. I smiled at the thought of my first failure. I took it pretty hard and I was 7 years old.

I sighed before I can feel the water was dancing on my legs. I feel at ease. I wanted to dance as I know dancing will take my mind off from reality.

so, I closed my eyes and I danced in the water. I twisted my feet up as I do in ballet, only it was easier in the water. I turned around and swayed around the water as I closed my eyes.

I can feel the calmness and the eagerness of the 7 years old me. I was turning around and around as I felt like I was on the air, and for once I did. I turned and spun to the music that I have created in my mind. I was so close to the peak of the song when suddenly I was underwater.

I was shocked and before I knew any better, I was drowning as panic struck me and I had no one that can come to rescue.

so much for the best day ever.