4 Indigo

I'm a shell of the girl I used to be, I'm nothing more than a husk of the girl I once was.     

I used to have friends and go out, I used to love adventure and be daring but now all I do is hide out in the house until I know longer have black eyes or the swelling in my nose has gone down enough it's not that noticeable but I can't keep doing this I can't keep loosing what little bit of me is left.

I can't stay in this relationship anymore because eventually he will kill me.         I've been doing my classes online and working at a small bookstore down the block, thankfully the owner lets me just show up and work  on the days he's not here. It's nice that the owner helps me out like that and it keeps me from getting yelled at or beat up because I'm not home or have my small paycheack taken away because I somehow belong to him so what's mine is his.    

I had been saving as much money as I could over the last few months because I wanted to buy a car before I left but I'm going to use the money to get as far away from him as I can.

As far away as I can from him.

A car can be tracked with gps so can a phone but a name among millions is harder to find so my plan is to run, mt plan is to leave my phone and laptop behind and run with what little amount of thing I have.

It wasn't like he was going to know I was gone, until he decided to come home from where ever the hell he was anyways, most likely he's was with another girl who thankfully isn't me.

That's what he did on a regular basis. He'd come home for a few days tell he wanted sex and when he couldn't get me to give it to him he'd beat me up and disappear for a few days to a week then come back and the cycle would continue.

I'm not a complete prude as I have a feeling you must be thinking, I have given him a few blow jobs but they weren't because I wanted to they were away to get him to leave me alone or he would of continued until he raped me which thankfully he still hasn't.

I have touched myself a few times as well but I just never wanted to give my virginity to anyone just because they said they loved me especially if that person is him.

Anyways I turn off the bathroom light no longer wanting to see the girl in the mirror.

I packed what little bit of clothes and other things I had in two small suitcases and left my life in New York behind hopefully one day I can return.

I hailed a cab to the bus station because it would be too expensive to fly and I hate the train.

I remember when I was I believe ten or eleven my foster family at the time told me we were going on a family vacation to where they didn't say but they put me on the train and that's where I stayed for three days tell the police came and got me.

I bought a bus ticket to Houston because it seemed like the right place to go.

When I looked at all the states and cities on the map I couldn't imagen living any where else.

My last foster mother before I aged out of the system used to talk about how beautiful Houston was and that she loved spending her summers there with her grandparents, the way she would talk about the people, food and amazing places she would visit always made me want to one day visit so here I go.

With ticket in hand I board the bus chossing a seat in the middle, taking the widow seat I settle in and let out a heavy sigh.