7

ASHLEY

I was lost.

I was drowning.

I was falling apart.

I could feel my whole life shattering into pieces right before my own eyes and I had no control over it. It was breaking me. It was ruining me, leaving me just a shell of myself. It felt as though I had been wearing a mask for as long as I could remember and I barely knew who I was without it anymore.

Stress-cleaning.

That was the only thing I had left.

It was the only thing I had control over and I'd be damned if I ever let it slip away from me. I was ready to hold on to it for as long as I could. Because not holding on to it meant giving in to my thoughts. The same thoughts that have rendered me a shadow of myself.

Giving it a chance to let it absorb me meant thinking about what has gone down this past week. It meant thinking about how I had completely isolated myself from everything. It meant thinking about what he did to me.

It has haunted me and given me several sleepless nights. I had cried my eyes out until there was not