Kind hearts.

*Flashback*

I've always found it easier to talk to Brittney, more than a lot of other people. She's never judged me off of my age nor disrespected me because of it. Yes she's my husband's ex but she's understanding. Certainly a lot more understanding than his other ex-wives.

She'd warmed up to me from the very first day she'd met me. I was this young girl in a world I didn't belong in and she'd helped me navigate my way into it, and I guess also deal with the other evil ex-wives. Although her approach has always been to be nice to them, I've always preferred avoiding them as much as I could. Obviously that hasn't been exactly smooth sailing with my husband basically forcing me to get on with them.

Point is, she's someone I've really taken a liking to in a place where no one seems to want to like me. She's become someone I can truly open up to.

That is why,

"I'm pregnant."

I'd been keeping this inside for too long that saying it feels like finally drinking water after a week-long hiatus.

Even though I do talk to her, it never is concerning my marriage. Regardless of how understanding she is, she's still my husband's ex-wife. But now keeping this secret has been swallowing me whole.

I needed someone to know and unfortunately my husband wouldn't understand. That is why I called her.

"Kayla, that is so exciting."

I hear her say gleefully and I feel my stomach turning slightly from excitement before that's replaced by uncertainty.

"Yea I don't know."

It's like I needed someone to be happy about it for me to also be happy about it, but it doesn't change the fear that overfills me. Fear that he might reject my baby.

I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember, but the feeling I'd imagined was nothing compared to the feeling I have now. I'd always thought it would be happy tears and glee, not a heart full of sorrow and sadness.

"He doesn't want kids so I haven't told him."

I hear myself say to her.

I hadn't stopped thinking about what he would do if he found out. What if he demanded I get an abortion? That would break my heart into a million pieces. I don't want to live a life without this baby, or him.

"Honey, that's just what he says to you. Aaron loves kids, you know this. If he found out you're pregnant, he would change his mind in a heartbeat."

It's true.

Aaron is the greatest when it comes to kids. He's that uncle you always want around because he gets you stuff and he takes you places. He's the cool uncle.

"You think?"

My voice is shaky but it's accompanied by a smile.

I ask but I know the answer to that. Aaron would never tell me to get an abortion, not my Aaron.

"Something tells me you know the answer to that."

I laugh slightly then welcome the tears that fall out of my eyes. I don't make effort to stop them from coming out because I want them to. They're happy tears, unlike the ones I'd been shedding the days before. Unlike the ones I'd shed this morning when he left.

"What would I do without you Brit?"

She's been such a warm and welcoming soul ever since I met her. I'm grateful to have someone like her around. She doesn't have kids of her own but I knew she would understand.

"Hey, whatever you need. I'm here, okay?"

Sometimes I wonder why they stopped being together. She's incredible.

Better than anyone I know. I'd used to think he would one day realize and they'd reconnect, that Aaron would then forget all about me. Of course I was a lot younger then and naïve. Also, that was before I got to know her, she's not the kind of person to ever do anything like that to anyone. She's got a kind heart.

Plus she remarried. And Aaron? Despite our troubles, I know the man loves me. And he'll never leave me for anything. It took me a while but I know it for sure now.

There's so much more that I wish to tell her though. I don't mind being a loner but it sucks when I'm drowning in my sorrow and need someone there, a lot of the times I would speak to my husband but sometimes, like in this case - I can't speak to him. Partly because he's not here and I don't know if he's even coming back to me. The fight this time was pretty bad.

I want to tell her that he left and that it's not the first time. I want to tell her that it's been happening a lot recently, that I feel like he's letting go. But I don't want to put that burden on her. They are friends after all and I don't want to be the reason why they're not anymore. That is why,

"I know, thank you so much Brit. You're always very helpful."

I say before we finally say our goodbyes and I hang up the phone.

Not long after I find myself sitting in a tub with the hot water massaging my form. I let my mind run wild in thought.

What if he finally realized that I'm too young for him and that is why he doesn't want to have a kid with me? What if he doesn't plan on keeping me around for longer than he has? I wish more than anything to not have these thoughts but what Brit said was right, Aaron loves kids. A lot. He's the happiest when he's around them.

So why does he not want one with me?

I close my eyes and then lay back in the tub. I take a few deep breaths then open my eyes to stare at the ceiling. I rub my belly softly as I do this...

And then I make my decision.

I'm going to tell him. If he leaves me then it's fine, I will raise my baby on my own.

I will go away and never come back.