Chapter 2: The Huh Syndrome

CASS

Naglalakad na ako ngayon sa mahabang corridor ng Senior High School building ng Mendel University papunta sa classroom kahit dalawang oras pa bago ang klase. Usually, Trixy comes with me every time I go to school but since I got pissed of her yesterday after her strong words against Zeke, inunahan ko na siyang pumunta sa campus.

Iilan pa lang ang nakikita kong estudyante sa building at masyadong tahimik ang buong corridor kaya't halos lumabas ang puso ko mula sa aking dibdib ng biglang may nagsalita mula sa likuran ko.

"You left the house too early."

The cold and scary baritone voice of Chadler Trevoir sent me the chills as I turn around slowly to face him and then forced myself to smile.

"Huh?" Alam kong nangatal bigla ang boses ko pero hindi ko ipinakitang takot ako at pinilit na tibayan ang nangangatog kong binti.

His serious yet blank face intimidates me. Yeah, Zeke wears the same but it suits him more. Don't get me wrong though, Chad is good-looking but he is really not my type.

"You could've waited for me and mom to come back."

I thought at first that he was talking about me coming to school early but when he said that I could have waited for him and his mom, I finally understand that he was talking about my weekend visit.

"Sorry. I got bored." Simple kong sagot dito pero hindi naman talaga iyon ang rason.

Naabutan na kasi ako ng isang katulong na umiiyak at nag-alala na siya nang matindi. Balak pa ngang tawagin sila mama so agad akong nagbigay ng ibang rason para hindi na sila mag-isip ng kung ano pa at para makaalis na agad.

"I see. Then, will you join me this lunch?"

This is the first time he ever asked me to eat with him so I was a little surprised. Mukhang gusto nitong bumawi sa nangyari kahapon pero dahil naiilang pa rin ako, hindi pa rin ako sigurado.

"Uhm, I'm going to have lunch with Trixy." Pagsisinungaling ko para sana hindi na pahabain pa ang usapan at makaalis na rin ako pero mukhang desidido ako at humirit pa.

"Then I'll tell her that you'll be eating with me." Pagpresinta nito na lalo kong ikinakaba.

Oh, hell no! Trixy will slap me if she learns that I used her as a reason to ditch Chad! She likes him so much for me!

"No. Don't bother. I'll come." Wala na akong magagawa dahil wala na rin naman akong maisip na palusot.

***

I am now sitting in front of Chad at a table for two here in our campus cafeteria. Tulad nga ng plano, we had our lunch together. Hinintay niya pa nga ako sa labas ng klase ko kaya't hindi na ako nakatakas pa. But I wasn't briefed that he'll pay for everything today.

"Cass."

I was trying to stay silent to avoid having a conversation with him but now he called so I have no choice but to respond.

"Yes?" Tanong ko rito at agad na pinilit ang sarili na ngumiti.

He heaves a sigh before letting go of his cutleries, creating a soft clatter on the plate. "What do you think of me?"

"Huh?"

Why is he being serious all of a sudden? We never had a deep conversation before. Well, we never really had conversed since I'm doing everything to avoid him but still, this is the first time I saw him being like this.

Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay nakokonsensya ako sa lahat ng ginagawa kong palusot mapalayo lang sa kaniya. Its just back then when we were kids, he terrifies me. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero iba talaga ang pakiramdam ko sa kaniya noon.

"Do you still see me as, I don't know, a monster?"

Bigla akong nasamid sa pagkabigla sa diretsahan niyang tanong. Darn he has no filter.

"We were kids back then Chad. The more I grow old, the more I realize you're nice." Paliwanag ko na lamang dito pero sa totoo lang ay takot pa rin ako sa malamig niyang boses.

"Then will you stop running away from me?" His tone was softer this time but still, it was cold.

Napakagat-labi naman ako sa sobrang hiya. Akala ko ay hindi niya nahahalata eh. Nananahimik lang pala siya at hindi nagrereklamo. He suddenly found the courage to talk to me.

"I'm sorry Chad. Don't worry, I won't do it anymore. I'll talk to you more often."

Thankfully, his mood changed from serious to a light one. Maybe not too bright but just as normal as others. "So, when will you come by and visit in the house again?"

I was planning to say na babalik ako doon kapag hindi na umalis si Zeke but since he is in good mood right now, ayoko namang ipamukha na hindi siya ang habol ko kung bibisita man ako sa kanila. Its rude to think of other person when you're talking to someone.

"When I'm free, I guess?" Tipid kong sagot at laking pasalamat ko naman nang tumango ito bilang tugon.

"Okay. Anyway, I brought two cinema tickets yesterday. Wanna come?"

Parang ang kaninang pagkakonsensya ay agad na natakpan muli ng takot at pagkabigla.

"H-huh?"

I was expecting that our conversation will just go on smoothly. Hindi ko inasahan na sisimulan na talaga niyang gumawa ng paraan para makasama pa ako.

"Do you wanna watch a movie with me later?"

I don't know how to respond to him anymore. Para bang may humihila sa akin paalis sa upuan ko at pabalik sa klase. I was expecting for a small talk. Hindi niya man lang dinahan-dahan.

"I'm not sure if I'm free later. But I'll try." Palusot kong muli bago napakamot sa ulo at umiwas ng tingin sa kaba.

This is an opportunity for me to get to know him a bit but I don't think today's the right time. Gusto ko muna mag-adjust para naman hindi ako mabigla at talagang mawala na loob ko sa kaniya. Yes he's nice, handsome, and all but that doesn't mean it will erase the awkwardness between us.

"Okay. I guess I'll be watching the movie twice."

***

Panay ang silip ko ngayon kay Zeke habang nagbabasa ng libro at nakaupo sa bench ng school park. Para akong timang na nagtatago sa katawan ng puno ng manga habang iginuguhit ang guwapo niyang mukha sa dala kong sketch pad.

"Ang guwapo mo talaga Zeke ko." Bulong ko sa sarili habang hibang na hibang na nakatitig dito bago napapaduko sa sketch pad ko para maingat na maiukit ang ilong niya.

Minsan ay gusto ko na ngang dalhin ang sarili ko sa mental dahil hindi ko talaga kayang hindi kausapin ang mga litrato ni Zeke.

"Tumingin ka naman dito anghel ko." Muli kong bulong sa hangin habang tinitingnan siya nang masinsinan.

Sa sobrang tindi ng pokus ko ay hindi ko inasahang talagang lilingon ito. Halos lumundag ang puso ko palabas ng aking dibdib nang magtama ang mga mata namin. Out of shock ay halos hindi na ako makagalaw at hinayaan ko na lang s'yang maglakad palapit sa akin.

"What are you doing there? Why didn't you just sit beside me?" Lalo akong natameme sa sumunod na sinabi niya. Natulos na ako sa kinatatayuan ko at hindi ko na kayang kumurap pa. "Look Cassidy, if you like me, then get me. If you want to kiss me, then kiss me."

Halos kuminang ang mga mata ko sa sobrang tuwa. Ramdam ko ang matinding kiliti sa tiyan at ang unti-unting pag-init ng pisngi ko habang hindi makapaniwalang sinasabi niya ang mga salitang iyon.

"Do you wanna kiss me Cass?"

"Yes! Please!" Hindi na ako nagpatumpik-tumpik pa at agad na sumagot. Wala akong karapatang umarte. Malandi na kung malandi, easy to get at kung ano pa! This man made the woman out of me!

He slowly closes the eyelids of his eyes then he started bending over so he can get closer to me. I shut my eyes too and pucker my lips to ready for his to land on mine.

"What on earth are you doing? Kissing a tree?"

Agad akong napaatras at napamulat nang marinig kong muli ang boses niya. Hindi bulto ni Zeke ang una kong nakita kundi ang katawan ng puno kaya't napalingon pa ako bago nahanap si Zeke na nakatayo at nakapameywang at tinitingnan ako na puno ng panghuhusga.

"Huh?" Iyon na lamang ang nasabi ko bago ko napagtanto ang kabaliwang ginagawa ko.

"You know what Cassidy, you need to stop daydreaming about me. I'm getting scared that you might be raping me in your imaginations."

Napilitan na lamang akong ngumiti sa kaniya at parang tanga na tumawa na lang sa sariling kahihiyan.

"I'm sorry. I was just looking at you." Paliwanag ko bago napakagat labi at inipit ang katiting na buhok sa likod ng aking tenga.

"What do you want?" Malamig at diretsong tanong nito habang nakakunot ang noong nakatitig sa akin bago pinasadahan ang hawak kong sketch pad.

"I was sketching you. Is it okay?" I extended my hand to show him the pad as he looks at it.

The sketch I made was him sitting on a bench while holding and reading his book. Ilang segundo niya iyon tiningnan bago napabuntong hininga.

"You need to work on it. It doesn't look like me."

Ang kaninang kahihiyan ay lalong tumindi na may halong panlulumo bago ko niyakap ang aking pad para hindi na niya ito makita pang muli. "Sorry. I'm still practicing."

I did even the smallest effort I can impress Zeke but it always ends up with him walking away just like what is happening right now. He went back to the bench where he was sitting and then he took the book from the wooden long chair like nothing happened.

Hindi ko na talaga alam kung ano pang gagawin ko para lang magustuhan niya ako. Sumunod ako rito para magtanong sana kung ano pang dapat baguhin pero bago pa man ako makapagsalita ay agad na itong nauna.

"Stop following me." He then flips the book to another page and looks at it intently.

Hindi ako nakinig at talagang naupo pa sa tabi nito para muli siyang pagmasdan. "It's your fault that I'm following you, you know. You always push me away and I don't know why. Do you hate me that much?"

Agad itong natigilan sa pagbabasa at sinara ang libro. Lumingon ito sa akin at malamig akong tinitigan bago dumukwang para lumapit. "I just hate the way you look at me and your obsession. Its pissing me off."

Animo'y may punyal na sumaksak sa dibdib ko dahil sa naging sagot niya. He didn't even care if his words were harsh. Pero dahil manhid na rin naman ako sa lahat ng sakit na idinudulot niya sa akin, ngumiti na lamang ako bilang tugon at pilit na kinokontrol ang sariling wag maluha.

"And the more you're pissed, the more I love you."

"And the more you love me, the more I'm hating you."

***

Binabasa ko ngayon itong binigay na peace offering ni Trixy na libro. Its entitled The Battered Lover at bagay na bagay raw sa akin dahil kapareho ko ang bida. Martyr daw kasi ako pagdating kay Zeke na kahit itaboy na niya ako nang matindi ay hindi pa rin ako lumalayo. Tanga sa pag-ibig ika nga.

"What are you reading?" The deep and scary voice immediately give me goosebumps and I felt a great shiver down to my spine.

"H-huh?"

"Are you deaf already? Why do you keep responding like that?" Tanong nito na agad ko na lamang na ikinatawa.

"Haha! I'm sorry. I'm getting used to it." Paliwanag ko kahit pa alam kong kaya lang naman ako nauutal ay dahil sa kaniya.

"Anyway, mom said that there will be a family dinner tonight in our house and your family's the guest. I wasn't informed." He curiously asked that made wonder. Wala namang naikwento si Mommybear about sa family dinner eh.

I just shrugged my shoulders. "Not at all. But maybe she'll tell me later."

His eyebrows arched before he exhaled and then slowly nodded his head. "I see. See you at the house then."

Ngumiti na lamang ako bilang tugon bago umalis sa pagkakasandal sa pintuan ng classroom at pumasok. Saktong pagkasara ko naman ng libro ay agad akong binungad ng kausap ni Trixy.

"Hey Cass!" She greeted causing Trixy to look up to me with her face looking as sharp as a new knife.

"Cass! Have you seen this?" Tawag nito bago lumapit sa akin at iniabot ang cellphone niya.

Agad na kumulo ang dugo ko nang makita ang litrato ni Zeke na inis na nakatingin sa babaeng nakayakap sa kaniya mula sa likuran. He was still wearing his jersey meaning he it was when the game ended and she was being a flirt fangirl.

"That's the new girl in ABM na feeling maganda! Nakakapang-init ng ulo! You know what Cass before that, this flirt even tried to kiss Chadler! Ang kapal ng mukha!"

Hindi ko na naintindihan pa ang ibang sinabi ni Trixy. Walang ibang nasa utak ko ngayon kundi ang mga paraan kung paano ko papatayin ang babaeng umakap kay Zeke na kailanman ay hindi ko magawa-gawa.

"Where's this bitch who wants to die?"

"Nasa classroom niya ata. Hintayin natin mamayang break Cass!"

I am going to teach her a lesson she needs to apply why she's in Mendel. I will make sure she'll feel my wrath and believe me, hindi gugustuhin ng kahit sino rito na magalit ako.

***

"My papa had a vacation in Spain and believe me, it's worth it."

Hindi pa nga ako nakakalapit dito ay dinig ko na ang nakakasura niyang boses sa malayo habang nagyayabang sa mga kaklase niya kung saang sulok ng impyerno siya nakarating. Kahit pa naman makalabas siya sa planeta ay wala akong pakialam basta't 'wag ko lang makita ang pagmumukha niya.

"If you all want to have a vacation specially when its summer, Hawaii is the place." Singit ko agad na ikinalingon ng mga babaeng pinagyayabangan ng malanding mukhang bisugo.

Lahat ng kausap niya ay napangiti sa akin liban sa kaniya na nakakunot ang noo at halatang iritado sa ginawa kong pagsingit sa SONA niyang walang kuwenta.

Of course she'll act like that cause she doesn't know me unlike everyone here in the school who's very familiar with the legacy of my family, making me a woman with a strong influence and reputation in the campus.

"Nah! Hawaii is too boring!" She booed making my right eyebrow arc as I stare at her who's boringly scanning me from head to toe.

"Why wouldn't you be bored there? You're a trash in the beach. Nobody gives a damn about garbages nowadays."

Dinig ko ang pagkabigla ng mga kababaihan at ang iba'y nagpigil pang tumawa. Siya naman ay agad na namilog ang bibig at napasinghap sa bigla. "Excuse me?" Tanong nito na halatang natamaan ko masyado at hindi kinaya ang una kong bira.

"No sweetheart, excuse you. You have no right to go my way because a woman like you don't surpass my standards."

It burned her more as she becomes angrier this time and glared at me. "What's your problem miss? Do I even know you?" Mataray niyang tanong bago pinagkrus ang mga braso.

"No. Of course, you don't darling. You're new here am I right? But don't worry, I'll let you know me."

Lumingon ako kay Trixy at sinenyasan ito na agad naman niyang naintindihan. Tinungo niya ang babae at walang sabi-sabi ay hinawakan niya ang dalawang braso nito at inilagay ito sa likod. Naalarma ang mga kausap niya na agad naman na napaatras habang ang mga tao sa paligid ay napatingin sa gawi namin dahil sa paulit-ulit na sigaw ng babaeng hawak ngayon ni Trixy.

"Hey! Let me go!" She screams while trying to break free from my friend's grip so I grabbed her by the chin and made her look at me straight.

"My name is Cassidy Amelia Castillo, your new nightmare. If you touch Zeke Trevoir again, I'll burn you alive. You understand?"

Pabulong kong banta bago marahas na binitawan ang panga niya kaya't pinakawalan na ito ni Trixy na agad niyang ikinaiyak at ikinatakbo paalis.

***