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The Picky Princess Was Never Picky
The Picky Princess Was Never Picky
Author: Perfect Timing

Chapter 1

Author: Perfect Timing
My name was Maisie Mahoney, and I was six years old. So far, my biggest accomplishment in life was making it to six.

Mealtimes at my house were basically a survival challenge. Mom's mashed potatoes were so hard I was scared they'd break my teeth.

Once, I even found an actual nail in my food. Mom said it must have come loose from the old pot and told me to stop making such a fuss.

After that, I always poked through my food with a fork before taking a bite.

Dad's soup was even worse. I never knew what color it was going to be.

The best one yet was bright green and bubbling on the stove, gurgling like something a witch would brew in one of my storybooks.

I stared at it for a long time before deciding there was no way I was drinking it.

Whenever Mom or Dad cooked, meals always went the same way. I ate a couple of bites of mashed potatoes, chewed my vegetables forever, and shook my head the second I saw the meat.

One time, Mom put some meat on my plate. I picked up a piece and found it was so tough I could tap it against the table and hear it knock.

I chewed it for ten whole minutes, then spat it into my napkin when no one was looking.

That night, I was too hungry to fall asleep. I curled up with my pillow and ate a couple of the cookies Aunt Lydia had left behind the last time she visited.

Crumbs fell into my bed, and I picked them up one by one and ate every last one.

At six, I didn't know enough to think any of that was sad. All I knew was that those cookies tasted a hundred times better than dinner.

Dad got so mad when he saw me that he slammed his hand on the table. "Keep this up and you're going to starve yourself."

I figured their food was more likely to kill me. At least if I didn't eat it, I might make it a few more years. I didn't say that out loud, though.

I honestly thought food was like this everywhere. I thought mashed potatoes were supposed to hurt your teeth, vegetables were supposed to taste bitter, and soup was supposed to bubble.

I figured grown-ups could get it all down because they had stronger teeth and stronger bodies than kids.

Whenever relatives came over to eat, things got even more interesting.

Aunt Lydia took one bite of the vegetables, and her face twitched once, twice, three times.

Then she gave Mom a big thumbs-up. "Nice and light! Very healthy! All-natural food is really popular these days!"

Uncle Tony took a sip of the green soup and closed his eyes for three whole seconds before nodding. "There's a lot going on in this soup. Very complex."

Grandma smiled at me sweetly. "You're too young to understand. Grown-ups know better. This kind of food is good for you."

Every time we ate together, everyone else praised the food while I sat there shaking my head. So Mom and Dad decided the food wasn't the problem. I was.

"She's spoiled," Mom said.

"She's too fussy. We need to do something about it," Dad said.

I sat at the table holding my plate, so upset I wanted to cry. But I was only six and didn't know how to explain myself.

All I could say was, "It's gross."

In my house, saying that was asking for trouble. Mom would get her feelings hurt, Dad would slam his hand on the table, and my relatives would hurry to change the subject.

"Oh, Maisie, you're so cute!"

After a while, I learned to keep my mouth shut. I stopped complaining and just ate less. And because I ate less, everyone started calling me the Picky Princess.

Then Mom made a decision that changed my life. She was going to put me on TV so the whole country could see just how fussy I was.

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  • The Picky Princess Was Never Picky   Chapter 10

    After the show ended, I went home.The second I walked in, I almost thought I'd wandered onto the wrong set.The kitchen looked completely different. The old pot had finally been retired, and Ms. Latimer's five cooking rules were taped to the wall in her own handwriting.Dad's soup didn't turn green anymore.His favorite thing to make now was chicken soup with carrots. Every time he made it, he posted a picture in the family group chat with the same message."No green bubbles today."There weren't any more nails in Mom's mashed potatoes either.She'd even learned how to make fried eggs. They usually came out looking like a map of the world, but at least the maps were edible.Even the family group chat had a new name. It used to be called "Is Maisie Being Picky Again?" Now it was called "Mom and Dad Learn to Cook."The first rule was that they had to post a picture of what they cooked every day and let me score it. The second was that whoever scored below a three had to do the

  • The Picky Princess Was Never Picky   Chapter 9

    On the seventh day, Mom and Dad had their final test.The rules were strict. They had to make dinner all by themselves, and Ms. Latimer wasn't allowed to help.There were three extra rules. They weren't allowed to give anything a fancy name or make up weird "healthy" combinations. And if something went wrong, they couldn't pretend they'd meant to do it that way.I sat at the table as the final judge with three signs in front of me labeled "Tasty," "Edible," and "Please Spare Me."The viewers immediately started taking bets on which one I'd hold up. "Please Spare Me" was the favorite because almost everyone was betting on it.Dad made chicken soup with carrots.This time, he did everything exactly the way he'd been taught. He carefully skimmed the foam off the top and seasoned the soup with nothing but salt and two sprigs of thyme.He didn't use the words "creative," "good stuff," or "power" even once.Mom made scrambled eggs with bell peppers.Just like Ms. Latimer had taught

  • The Picky Princess Was Never Picky   Chapter 8

    Ms. Latimer gave Mom and Dad five simple rules to follow."First, wait until the water boils before adding the pasta."Second, add salt a little at a time. Taste before adding more."Third, never put more than three main ingredients in a pot of soup. Don't turn it into a vegetable convention."Fourth, as soon as the food is done, take it off the heat. Don't call it 'letting the flavors develop' when you've really just overcooked it."And fifth, taste everything before serving it. If you can't eat it yourself, don't serve it to anyone else."Mom and Dad nodded at every word and carefully took notes in their little notebooks. They looked so serious, you'd think they were studying for a big test.They understood the rules perfectly, but actually following them was another story.Dad's first assignment was homemade stock. Ms. Latimer told him to boil the bones briefly, dump out that water, and start again with fresh water.Dad stared at the pot for a long time.Pouring out a whol

  • The Picky Princess Was Never Picky   Chapter 7

    The day after I went viral, the production team held an emergency meeting. Apparently, it lasted all of ten minutes.Their conclusion was simple. "Maisie didn't need fixing. Her parents did."So the title of my segment quietly changed on the livestream. "The Picky Princess Goes Country" became "The 'Picky' Princess Fixes Mom and Dad's Kitchen."Mr. Dawson announced it on camera, "Viewers have seen for themselves that Maisie isn't a picky eater. Now it's her parents' turn to make some changes."I sat on my little stool with my bowl in my hands, looking perfectly calm.Mom and Dad immediately said no.Mom kept her polite smile in place. "We just have an off day every now and then."Dad quickly backed her up. "Exactly. We just get a little creative with our cooking."Mr. Dawson didn't argue. He simply posted a poll in the livestream."Should Maisie's parents stay and learn how to cook?"One million viewers voted, and 980,000 voted yes. The other 20,000 voted no because they were

  • The Picky Princess Was Never Picky   Chapter 6

    The crew wanted to see if I'd really been wrong about the food at home all along, so they decided to call some of our relatives.Mom and Dad immediately perked up. They were sure everyone would say their cooking was fine and that I was just being picky. After all, our relatives had been praising their cooking for years.As soon as the video call started, Mom jumped right in. "Lydia, tell them the truth. I always put a lot of effort into my cooking, don't I?"Aunt Lydia let out a long sigh on the other end of the call. "Oh, absolutely. You put a lot of effort into it. Every meal is unforgettable."Mom's smile froze for a second. "What's that supposed to mean?""I mean exactly what I said."Dad quickly turned to Uncle Tony. "Tony, my soup is nutritious, isn't it?"Uncle Tony went quiet for two seconds. Then he pulled out his phone and held it up to the camera.His takeout order history filled the screen. Every order had been placed exactly an hour before he came to our house for

  • The Picky Princess Was Never Picky   Chapter 5

    After a whole week of being laughed at online, Mom and Dad made a surprising decision. They were coming to visit me during filming, and they were bringing food they'd made themselves.Dad said, "We're going to prove there's nothing wrong with our cooking."As soon as viewers heard the news, the chat started begging them not to come."No! The poor kid just started eating decent food!""Their nightmare cooking followed her all the way out there. What kind of horror movie is this?"But Mom and Dad had already made up their minds. They marched into the village carrying a large insulated food container.That day, I was sitting in the yard eating a bowl of sweet potato oatmeal Ms. Latimer had made. I happily bobbed my head between spoonfuls.Then I spotted two familiar faces and one very familiar food container. My spoon slipped from my hand and clattered to the ground.Dad opened the container with a huge smile and proudly announced, "Green Power Soup!"The name sounded fancy, but

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