unguarded

Chapter 17

I did not go back to my room after training, my legs felt weak, but something inside me was restless.like sleep wouldn't come even though I layed down.

So I walked through the chamber wall that night, most of the worriors has retreated to their duties or rest.

The breeze brush against my skin , calm and gentle.

But i stopped when I reached a cave , I had been here before.

The cave did not frighten me the way it use to before.

Maybe because I had lost so much , and fear felt dull now.

I stopped at the entrance breathing slowly, the ache in my body thropped with every heartbeat.

Still I stepped inside , the air changed immediately.

"Come in", a voice said softly.

I froze.

Eira stood deep inside the cave , leaning on her staff, her pale eyes on me like she knew I was going to come

She always seemed to know things before they happened.

"I didn't know you were here", I said

"You didn't", she replied calmly. "But you still came."

I stepped closer careful of my foot, the faint glow of crystals. Along the walls reflected in her eyes, making them seem almost unreal.

" You watched the traning today" I said.

" Yes"

"You always do ".

A small smile touched her lips , but it faded quickly." Today was .... different"

I waited patiently waiting to hear her speak, Eira has a way of speaking that made words feel heavy, like if rushed I would miss something important.

" you fell many times, "she continued.

"I know".

" But you did not break," she said.

"But that doesn't make me feel any special," I said sitting on a wooden chair beside me." I... I'm just being stubborn".

She tilted her head slightly, "sturbborness is only dangerous when it protect nothing."

I frowned, what does that mean?

Instead of answering, she walked deeper into the cave. After a moment, I followed.

The ground slopped downwards, and the air grew colder.my Wolf stirred faintly inside me ,uneasy I wrapped my hand around my self, more for comfort than warmeth.

" You feel it," she said without turning back, "don't you?".

Feel what?

"The way your Wolf instincts listen now" she said ," instead of hiding".

I stopped walking

That was close to the truth, since I started training , my wolf had....felt closer , not louder , just present and watching.

" I thought that was normal", I said .

"For some, "she replied " yes."

We reached a wide opening in the cave , The ceiling rose above us , shadow faintly across the wall.

"You were hurt by your pack," she said.

The words landed softly but they still hurt.

"They rejected you. Shamed you. Left you to believe you were weak.”

"I don't want to talk about them."

"I know ," she said gently. But they shaped the silence inside you.

I looked away.

The silence inside me had been my shield. It had kept me breathing when I wanted to disappear.

"What does this have to do with my training?" I asked.

"Everything,"Eira replied.

she stepped closer, studying me the way healer did .

"You train your body, " she said, and Roshan see to that.

"The name of Roshan rang in my ears".

Eira gaze held me for a few second, she smiled faintly like she already knew my thoughts.

Some strength does not rise because it is called,it rises because it has been wounded.

" You make it sound like something bad, ".

I make it sound like something honest, she corrected.

I'm i dangerous?

Eira eyes sharpened," you could be".

hernword echoed in my chest.

Dangerous.

I had spent most of my life being told I was useless. Weak. A burden.

No one had ever looked at me like this before.

"You are standing at the beginning of something," she continued. "And beginnings are often quiet. That is why people mistake them for nothing."

I clenched my hands. "Then why warn me?"

"Because when it wakes,” he said softly, “it will not ask if you are ready.”

The cave felt smaller suddenly.

I took a step back. "You’re saying I’ll lose control."

“I’m saying you must learn where your control comes from,” she replied.

I thought of the training ground. Of Roshan’s voice telling me to breathe. To balance. To stand.

Of the way he watched me fall and still expected me to rise.

“Does Roshan know?” I asked.

He knows enough to be careful,” she said.

That answer told me more than her words.

"He doesn’t look at me like I’m dangerous," I said quietly. "He looks at me like I might break.”

Eira studied me for a long moment. Protection and fear often wear the same face.

I didn’t know what to say to that.

We stood there in silence, the cave humming faintly around us. My wolf shifted again, uneasy but alert.

“What should I do?” I asked finally.

Eira tapped her staff lightly against the stone. “Train. Listen. And when anger comes,do not let it decide for you.”

And if it does?

Her gaze hardened. “Then the price will be paid by more than just you.”

I felt cold then. Truly cold.

I didn’t ask for this, I said.

"No,"she agreed. “But it has chosen you anyway.”

When I left the cave later, the sky had darkened. The moon hung low, pale and watchful.

As I walked back toward the pack, my body aching and my thoughts heavy, one truth settled deep in my chest.

I was no longer fighting to remain stronger .

I was fighting to remain myself.

And I did not know which battle will be harder.

***

I left Eira place , emotion clinging to me like a second skin that I couldn't peel off.

My body feels relaxed, the herb Eira gave me really worked.

I wasn't paying attention when I turned the corner

And then I stopped, at Roshan chember.

The door stood partially open, and before I could think to retreat, my eyes found him.

Bare.