Pray.

I was sitting on the chair next to Lotus's bed as she lay there sleeping off the heavy doses of medication that they had pumped into her body after surgery. I had never felt so useless and terrified in my life.

The thoughts that kept running in my head were horrifying, only if I had moved quicker then maybe she would be awake right now annoying the crap out of me, but instead, she was here on this bed bandaged and being helped by a ventilator in order to breathe and it's all my fault.

Holding onto her hand I looked at her and brought my hand to touch her curls, the curls I love twirling my finger around when we lay in bed talking about anything and everything. It's really easy to talk to her, but with her sleeping it's difficult and I just want to hear her voice, even if it's just to curse me out.

I tried squeezing her hand thinking she will respond and squeeze mine back but she doesn't, her cold fingers touch mine in an embrace I'm forcing, trying to warm them up I rub our hands t