Chapter 31: The morning after

KADE

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her, felt her. The way she'd looked at me with those brown eyes filled with want, the softness of her skin under my hands, the sound she'd made when I'd kissed her neck.

My wolf was purring like some satisfied house cat instead of the feral beast it had been for the past five years.

I'd kissed Sera Blackwood, more than kissed her and I didn't regret a single second of it.

That should have terrified me, It did terrify me.

The last time I'd cared about someone, really cared…she'd died. Lydia had been murdered because of me, because I'd been stupid enough to think love could survive in a world controlled by the Council.

But lying there in the dark, all I could think about was the way Sera had laughed after Elena caught us, the way she'd looked at me like I was something worth wanting.

I gave up on sleeping around dawn. By the time I'd showered and dressed, the compound was starting to brighten. I could hear patrol shifts changing, perceive the smell of breakfast in the dining hall.

I headed to that direction, telling myself it was just routine, that I wasn't specifically looking for her, my wolf knew better.

Marcus was already at our usual table, coffee in his hand, he looked at my face and grinned.

"Well well well," he said, "someone's in a good mood this morning."

"Shut up."

"You're smiling, you never smile before noon," his grin widened. "What happened? Did we win the lottery? Did the Council spontaneously combust?"

"I said shut up."

"Oh, this is good, this is.." He stopped, eyes widening. "Wait, did you and Sera finally.."

"Marcus."

"You did!" He looked delighted, "about damn time. I was starting to think I'd have to lock you two in a room together."

"I will throw you off the compound wall."

"Elena's going to be unbearable about this, she called it weeks ago."

I was about to respond when a movement caught my eye, Sera had just entered the dining hall with Lila beside her.

Everything else faded.

She was wearing simple training clothes, her dark hair pulled back in a loose braid, nothing special, but the way the morning light highlighted her face, the small smile at her lips…

My wolf sat up and paid attention.

As if sensing my stare, she looked up, our eyes met across the room, her smile widened, Just slightly.

My chest did something strange, tightened and loosened at the same time.

"You've got it bad," Marcus said quietly.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't."

Sera and Lila got food and sat at a table near the windows, I tried not to watch her but failed miserably. She laughed at something Lila said, her whole face lighting up, and I couldn't look away.

Elena appeared from nowhere and sat with them. Even from here, I could see her knowing smile, see the way Sera's cheeks flushed pink, see Lila lean in, clearly asking questions.

"You should go talk to her," Marcus said.

"I'm eating."

"You haven't touched your food."

I looked down, he was right.

"What am I supposed to say?" I asked quietly.

Marcus's expression softened, "the truth, that you don't regret it, that you want to figure out what this is, that you're terrified but willing to try," He paused. "That's what you're feeling, right?"

I didn't answer, I didn't need to.

"Kade," Marcus's voice turned serious. "You've been half dead for five years, existing not living, I've watched you bury yourself in this compound, in training, in preparing for fights that might never come, and now there's someone who makes you smile. Someone who makes you feel something other than rage and grief, don't sabotage it because you're scared."

"I'm not scared."

"You're terrified and that's okay, but don't let fear make you stupid."

I stood before I could talk myself out of it. I crossed the dining hall, aware of people watching, aware that walking up to Sera like this, in front of everyone, meant something.

Lila saw me first, her eyes lit up with obvious mischief. "Morning, Kade."

"Lila, Elena," I acknowledged, then looked at Sera. "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course," she stood immediately.

"Ooh, private conversation," Lila whispered, not quietly at all.

Sera shot her sister a look, but she was fighting a smile. We walked outside into the cool morning air, the compound was busy with morning routines, rogues training, normal chaos.

We stopped near the wall, away from the foot path. Sera looked up at me, waiting.

I'd survived exile, built an army from nothing, but standing here, trying to find the right words, I felt completely out of my depth.

"Last night.." I started.

"If you're going to say it was a mistake, please don't," she interrupted quietly.

"What? No," I stepped closer, "I was going to say I don't regret it."

Her shoulders relaxed. "Oh..good, because I don't either."

"Good."

We stood there awkwardly, this should be easier. I'd known her for months now, trained her, talked to her, even kissed her, but this felt different, more important.

"I don't know what I'm doing here," I admitted. "I haven't..since Lydia, I haven't let myself feel anything for anyone, I didn't think I could, I didn't want to."

"And now?"

"Now I can't seem to stop," I reached for her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. "I don't know what this is between us, I don't know where this is going, but I know I want to figure it out, If you do."

"I do," she said softly.

My wolf settled completely, contented and happy.

"We'll take it slow," I said, "Figure things out as we go."

"Slow works for me," she squeezed my hand, "though Elena might die from suspense."

I laughed, "She's already difficult about it."

"She caught us on your desk, she's earned the right to be unbearable."

The reminder of last night sent heat through me, the way she'd felt in my arms, the sounds she'd made, how badly I'd wanted..

I pushed the thought away, we were taking this slow, even if my wolf was currently suggesting several very not slow ideas.

"Come on," I said, tugging her hand gently, "Let's walk."

We moved through the compound together, hand in hand. I saw heads turn, heard whispers, felt the weight of curious stares.

I didn't care.

For five years, I'd been the Rogue King, an exile, the man building an army for revenge, cold, distant and alone.

But walking with Sera, her hand warm in mine, the morning sun bright, I felt like maybe I could be something more than that.

Maybe I could be someone who got a second chance, someone who deserved happiness.

We ended up on the wall overlooking the forest, quiet and peaceful.

"Thank you," Sera said suddenly.

"For what?"

"For not running away this morning, for this," She lifted our joined hands, "for being willing to try."

"Thank you for not giving up on me when I was being an idiot," I countered.

She smiled, "You're still being an idiot sometimes."

"Fair."

We stood there in comfortable silence, watching the compound wake fully, my wolf was quiet for once, not prowling, not demanding, just... satisfied.

I'd forgotten what that felt like.

Sera leaned against me slightly, her head resting on my shoulder, I wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

For the first time in five years, the future didn't look like just fights and revenge.