Chapter 44

Rosemary

The heavy fog in my brain slowly began to lift. It was like clawing my way out of a deep, suffocating pit, but eventually, I found my way back to consciousness. My body felt weak, like I had been wrung out and left to dry. My throat felt raw, as if I had swallowed sand, and when I tried to speak, no sound came out. My eyelids fluttered open, but the light was too bright, stabbing into my eyes, forcing me to shut them again.

I tried again, this time more slowly. As my vision cleared, I saw him - Ethan. He was sitting in a chair right next to the bed, his head resting on the edge of the mattress. His face was peaceful, his chest rising and falling softly as he slept. A faint snore escaped his lips. Even in sleep, he looked so protective, so close.

I didn’t want to wake him, but I shifted just enough to make him stir. His eyes opened immediately, concern flashing across his face the moment he saw me awake.

“Rose, you’re awake!” His voice was filled with a mixture of relief and anxiety. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

I tried to answer, but could barely manage a whisper. “Water,” I croaked, my throat still scratchy.

Ethan jumped up like a man on a mission, rushing out of the room. I took a moment to survey my surroundings. The sterile white walls, the soft hum of machines, the faint smell of antiseptic - it was clear I was in a hospital room. But why? I couldn’t piece everything together.

Ethan returned almost instantly, holding a glass of water with a straw. He helped me sip it gently, and the cool liquid was heaven on my parched throat.

“What happened? Why am I here?” I rasped, my voice still hoarse.

His expression darkened slightly, worry flickering in his eyes. “I found you passed out near the creek, the farthest end of the territory. You’ve been unconscious for two days.”

“Two days?” I repeated, shocked. My memories were hazy, but I vaguely remembered running, feeling overwhelmed, and then… nothing.

Ethan nodded. “You collapsed from dehydration. And your wolf, she needed more time than usual to heal. It seems like you pushed yourself too hard.”

I tried to make sense of it all, but the more I thought about it, the more a single, terrifying thought rose to the surface.

I was pregnant.

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. My breath caught in my throat, and I could feel the walls closing in on me. The words felt foreign, impossible. I had been told my entire life that having children was impossible for me. I had believed it. I had relied on it. I didn’t want children - I couldn’t have children.

But here I was.

I had always been adamant about one thing: I didn’t want to bring a child into this world. I had seen too much cruelty, too much pain. I had promised myself that I would never subject another life to the same suffering. How could I ever be a mother when I barely knew what it was like to have one? How could I protect a child from the dangers I barely survived myself?

I felt my wolf stir inside me, trying to protest, but I shut her out. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t feel anything but the rising panic inside me.

Ethan watched me carefully. I could see the concern etched deeply into his features, but there was something else, something sad in his eyes, like he knew more than he was letting on. I felt a pang of guilt in my chest because I knew I couldn’t tell him the truth. Not yet. Not until I figured it out.

Slowly, I sat up, my body stiff and sore from being in bed for two days. Ethan was instantly at my side, helping me as I tried to regain my strength. On a chair near the bed was a clean pile of clothes, and after some protests, Ethan didn’t try to help me dress up. With every step I took, my wolf healed me, making me feel more like myself with every passing moment. By the time we walked out of the hospital, I felt like myself again. I had to figure out when I could return to the clinic to talk to Bella privately, as Ethan seemed determined not to leave my side.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ethan asked, still hovering protectively.

I nodded, even though the knot in my stomach told me otherwise. “I need to talk to Amber,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. I needed answers. I needed to know what to do next.

Ethan’s brows furrowed. “I’ll come with you,” he offered, already getting ready to help me.

“No,” I said, perhaps a little too sharply. “I need to do this alone.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, but before he could, I shifted into my wolf form. My clothes tore in the process, but I didn’t care. I needed to get to Amber, and I needed to get there fast. The wind whipped past me as I ran through the woods, my thoughts a whirlwind of chaos.

I arrived at Amber’s house within minutes. As if sensing my desperation, she had already prepared a robe, which waited for me on her doorstep. I shifted back and wrapped myself in the robe, barely pausing before walking inside.

“I need your help,” I blurted the moment I saw her.

Amber looked up from her seat, her calm eyes already knowing. “I know,” she said softly, her voice filled with an understanding that made me feel both comforted and uneasy.

“Do you know what’s happening to me? Do you know about… the problem I have?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

She nodded solemnly. “I do.”

Amber stood up and walked over to a cabinet filled with herbs and potions. She started gathering ingredients with calm precision, as if she had been preparing for this moment long before I arrived. She mixed a few things together in a small jar before handing it to me.

“As a werewolf, traditional medicine might not be effective,” she explained. “This is stronger. Make yourself this tea on the next full moon, and your problem will disappear.”

I stared at the jar in my hands, the weight of her words sinking in. “Will it work?” I asked, my voice barely audible.

“It will,” Amber replied. “But you must drink everything until the very last drop. And remember, once you make this choice, there is no going back.”

I looked into Amber’s eyes, searching for something - guidance, maybe? Reassurance? But all I saw was the reflection of my own uncertainty. She knew the gravity of the decision I was facing.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my fingers tightening around the jar.

Amber gave a slight nod, but she said nothing more. She didn’t need to. The choice was mine, and mine alone.

As I walked back out into the night, the weight of the jar in my hands felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew one thing for sure: the clock was ticking.

***

When I returned to my room, Ethan was already there, sitting on the bed, his eyes soft with concern but his posture calm. He looked up as I entered, and I made sure the jar was safely tucked away in my pocket, hidden from his view. I wasn’t ready to share that part yet - not until everything was settled.

“You figure out what you needed?” he asked gently, his voice low and steady.

“Yes,” I replied, trying to keep my voice from shaking. There was a certainty in his gaze, like he knew I had a decision to make but trusted me completely to make it on my own.

He nodded at me with a small, understanding smile. “I believe you’ll make the right choice, no matter what.”

He opened his arms, and I walked into his embrace, feeling his warmth envelop me. It felt safe, like home, but it didn’t change the gnawing determination in my chest. I had made my decision. The last year of my life had taken turns I never imagined, plunging me into a world I barely understood. However, I still knew one thing for certain - I could carve my own path, no matter how impossible it seemed.