Chapter 5

Elena's POV

After that night, my body started to feel strange.

It was small at first. I tired easily. I'd get dizzy without warning.

I told myself it was the stress. Or aftereffects from the interrupted turning. I didn't think much of it.

It got worse. I started losing focus at work. I couldn't even finish basic sketches.

One morning at the studio, I'd been on my feet for less than half an hour when my vision went black.

My assistant panicked and told me to go home.

I didn't argue. I took the day off.

On the way back, I stopped at a hospital.

The irony of it. I was pregnant.

The child we'd wanted for three years had finally come — right when its mother had stopped being loved.

For half a second I thought: maybe with a baby, James won't go through with the divorce.

Then I shoved the thought down.

I wasn't going to be that woman. The kind who chains a husband to her with a child.

He had picked me once because of someone else's face. Was I really going to let him stay because of a child now?

I couldn't do that to either of us. I had to keep this to myself.

If he changed his mind, I would stay. I would still be his wife.

If he still loved Vicky — I'd take the baby and go.

…

When I pushed the front door open, there were voices in the living room.

I wasn't going to listen.

Then I heard Vicky.

"How much longer are you going to drag this out?"

The softness she used in front of other people was gone. Her tone was sharp now — impatient, pushing.

I stopped where I was.

"James. You said you loved me."

Her voice dropped lower, sharper. "Then why aren't you divorcing her?"

There was a pause. I stood by the door. I didn't go in.

My heart clenched.

James's voice was low. "I told you. I'm handling it."

"Handling it?" Vicky gave a cold laugh. "What you call handling it is letting her stay in this house?"

"She's only your wife on paper. The paper was a substitute for me."

"I'm back now. What do you still need her for?"

My fingertips went cold.

James was quiet for a moment.

"I don't want to hurt her," he said.

That made me laugh under my breath.

Right. James didn't want to hurt me. Everything else was my own doing.

Vicky's voice changed.

"You don't want to hurt her. What about me?"

It cracked. "I died once already, James."

"Do you have any idea how alone I was?"

"When I came to, the first person I thought of was you."

Her voice got smaller. "If you're still hesitating over her, then maybe I shouldn't have come back at all."

"Stop."

His voice tightened.

"Don't talk like that."

"Why can't I?" she said, through tears. "If you don't want a divorce, I'll go."

"I can throw myself into the sea again."

"I should have stayed dead the first time."

The room went dead silent.

I could picture his face.

This was the one thing he couldn't bear.

He had broken once before, when she'd "died."

Standing there at the door, something inside me went very calm.

"Don't."

His voice had panic in it now. "I won't let anything happen to you again."

"Then divorce her."

She came back at him without missing a beat.

He didn't answer right away — a few seconds of silence.

Then, low: "All right."

I'd known it was coming. That single word still left me hollow.

"I'll get her to agree."

He said it.

Vicky wasn't satisfied.

"And if she doesn't?"

"You're going to keep dragging it out?"

"She will."

His voice was colder now.

"I'll find a way."

"What way?" Vicky pressed.

She paused, and her tone went soft again.

"Why not just file the paperwork yourself?"

"She loves you, doesn't she? She trusts you?"

"Tricking her into signing it — how hard would that really be?"

I stood there, my stomach turning.

The nausea pushed up my throat. I almost couldn't hold it down.

James didn't answer.

His silence pressed the room flat.

Vicky tried again.

"If you won't."

Her voice was terribly soft now. "Then I'll take it that you don't need me."

"I'll go."

"And I won't come back this time."

"Enough!"

He almost shouted it.

The next second, his voice was breaking.

"All right. I'll do it."

"I'll trick her into signing."

I didn't need to hear any more.

I pushed the door open.

The air froze.

I stood in the doorway, looking at them.

James went rigid.

Vicky recovered fast.

I walked in. My footsteps were steady. As if I hadn't heard a thing.

Vicky rolled her eyes. She probably thought I was about to do what I always did. Pretend. Hide. Avoid.

Only I knew my hands were shaking.

I walked up to the two of them and stopped.

The air was thick with her perfume. Even with my pendant on, I couldn't catch a trace of James's scent through it.

I frowned without meaning to. The nausea got sharper.

I looked at him. I kept my voice low.

"James. Just for one moment."

"Just for one moment — was there ever a time you loved me for me?"

I lowered my eyes and waited for him to answer. He stayed silent.

I looked up. He had that gentle, pained expression of his — the one that meant he didn't want to hurt me, and couldn't bring himself to lie.

It was strange. Just like that, the pain was gone.

"I heard your answer."

I lifted my head and gave him a small smile.

"James. I'll agree to the divorce."

He went still. Like he hadn't caught up.

"You didn't have to scheme like this."

My voice was even. There wasn't a tremor in it.

"I'll sign."

He opened his mouth.

"Elena, I—"

He was about to say something. An apology. An explanation.

He didn't get the chance.

Vicky already had a folder of papers in her hand.

She moved fast. Like she'd had it ready for a long time.

"Then let's get it done."

She smiled, gentle, like she was helping me out of something.

I glanced at the papers.

I didn't hesitate. I took them.

I flipped to the right page and signed.

I didn't pause.

I didn't look at him once.

The moment my pen left the page, something in me eased.

I handed the papers back. I looked at James.

He stared down at my signature. He looked sad.

I gave a small laugh.

"You don't have to look so surprised."

"I knew who you'd choose. I've known for a while."

The color drained out of his face.

I unclasped the pendant and set it on the table as I went on.

"At the gala, when the Elders questioned me. You didn't speak up for me."

"When I brought up the night we met. You didn't react."

I paused. My voice was almost a whisper.

"These past few days, I've been alone in that room."

"And the two of you have been downstairs."

"Eating together. Talking together."

"I heard all of it."

The silence in the room was awful.

I looked at him, and realized it didn't hurt anymore.

"I'm sorry. I'm done."

He finally spoke.

"Elena. I'm sorry."

I shook my head and stopped him.

"James. Don't apologize to me."

I gave him my last smile.

"I'm the one who's letting you go."

I turned and walked out. I didn't look back.

From this moment on, I was going to disappear from his world.