Chapter 1

Elena's POV

It hit me only then, far too late.

Why James had looked at me with such heavy sorrow the very first time we met.

Out in the hall, the woman with tear-bright eyes stood in her torn dress, gazing at my husband like he was the only thing in the world to her.

And I, with the cuts on my wrist still open from the turning ritual, had to keep my head clear through the pain.

I saw it with my own eyes.

That woman had my face.

A minute ago, he had been frowning over the cuts on my wrist. Now he wasn't even looking at them.

"Vicky… is it you? It's really you. You're alive—"

James, who never lost his composure, had a catch in his voice.

I looked at her. I looked at him. Cold went through me from scalp to feet, and the pain in my wrist went numb.

"I came back… do you still want me?"

Vicky had seen my face too. She asked the question carefully, like a child afraid of the answer.

"James…"

I reached for his hand on instinct, the way I always did when I needed to feel safe.

It was happening too fast. I couldn't take it in.

Anger, fear, panic — all of it surged up at once.

I didn't know what to do. I just knew I didn't want him to leave my side.

There was a flicker of hesitation in his eyes.

Then his gaze went straight back to her.

I could see his eyes turning red. His whole body was shaking.

He let go of my hand. He took two steps forward and gripped her shoulders.

I'd only seen him this overcome once before. The night I said yes to his proposal.

"You're alive… why didn't you come back to me? Where have you been for ten years?"

His voice was so low it shook.

Vicky's tears spilled over. She clutched at the front of his coat like she'd drown if she let go.

"I wanted to come back. I only just woke up." Her voice broke. "I thought I'd never see you again."

She raised her face. This close, I could see the red glow in her irises.

She'd been turned. She was a vampire now.

She told us how she'd fallen into the sea ten years ago, washed ashore unconscious, how a vampire had saved her — turned her. She'd been on the brink of death so long that the turning and the awakening had taken longer than usual.

In that moment, I saw what was still in James's eyes.

Shock, heartbreak, the relief of someone given back what he thought he'd lost forever.

Everything except the way he used to look at me.

I stood there frozen while they held each other, two people who'd waited a decade for this. I was the outsider, standing in my own home.

Three years of marriage — every bit of it had been a lie.

I had only ever been a stand-in.

The blood from my wrist dripped onto the floor. The sound was almost too soft to hear.

James caught the smell of it. His body went still for a second.

He pulled away from her, awkwardly, his eyes dropping from her face. He came over to me in two steps.

"Sorry — Elena, let me bandage that for you."

He took my wrist in his hands, still careful with me, still gentle.

I looked at the strain on his face, and reached up out of habit to smooth the line between his brows.

This time, he flinched away from my touch.

Vicky stayed behind him the whole time, crying just loudly enough to be heard, sneaking glances at my face.

It was the first time in my life I'd ever hated my own face. My voice came out hoarse.

"The turning ceremony — are we still going through with it?"

James opened his mouth. He glanced back at Vicky. In the end, he said nothing.

I let out a small laugh. My eyes stung.

I'd loved him for years. I knew what his silence meant.

"The ritual was interrupted. Forcing it now would damage your body."

He spoke gently, but he wouldn't meet my eyes.

It was true. It just wasn't the real reason.

"Elena, please — get some rest tonight, okay?"

He finished wrapping my wrist and lifted it toward his lips.

Then he stopped.

He didn't kiss the bandage the way he always had.

I lifted my hand anyway, stubborn, wanting to touch his face. He turned away from me again.

He had a look on his face I'd never seen — embarrassed, distant.

"Give me some time. Let me think this through, okay?"

"It's late, Elena. Go upstairs and get some sleep."

Vicky understood what he meant. She stepped forward and slipped her arm through his.

He paused. He didn't pull away.

"Sorry — could you give us some space? We need to talk."

There was still a tremor in her voice. But the look she gave me was sharp, appraising.

James only watched me. A war in his eyes. After a long silence, all he had for me was, "I'm sorry."

I looked at the two of them standing together, and I couldn't bear it. I turned and left.