I blinked slowly, regaining my bearings as the sterile white ceiling above me came into focus.
My headache dull pulsing in time with my heartbeat. I was unsure of where I was but I could feel a cozy pillow under my head. The sound of the rhythm of the heart monitor filled my ears which was both reassuring and unnerving.
My mouth felt perched and I tried to swallow but my throat was so dry and tight . My body ached as though something—no, nothing—had struck me.
I had a sudden flash of memory that I had been hit by something but the details were hazy and dispersed. As if the universe itself didn't want me to move too fast I shifted but the feeling of weakness pulled me back into position.
"Hey there" A quiet voice next to me said and I looked around.
Standing there with a soft smile on her face was a woman wearing scrubs. Her eyes were the kind that simply by gazing into them brought comfort.
With my voice hardly audible above a whisper I croaked "Where… where am I?"
The kind nurse said "You're in the hospital...It's been a few days since you went unconscious. Disorientation is common but you're safe now."
Hospital. Days?
My thoughts were racing. I made an attempt to sit up but it was too much work. My body was uncooperative. A warm bandage was wrapped around my head when I touched her head after feeling a sharp pain there.
"Don't try to move too fast,"The nurse said in a steady, composed voice. "You're getting better. That's all right."
" Recovering from what?" I managed still trying to figure out what was going on.
The ground hurtling toward me the memory of a car and the abrupt swerve all smashed into my mind in pieces like a puzzle lacking important pieces.
As though she could read my surprise, the nurse gave me a pitying glance. "Its alright. Its not necessary for you to recall everything at once. It can occasionally take some time for your mind to adjust."
I tried to clear my jumbled mind by closing my eyes but it didn't help. I have no memory of arriving here. I had no recollection of how I got into this sterile hospital room. I had very little recollection.
I asked the words tasting odd in my mouth "What… What happened to me?"
The nurse paused, seemingly picking her words carefully before responding. "You were found unconscious on the street. Someone brought you here. Before he left he checked on you." She took a moment to think. "We were not given a name. He failed to leave one. But he worried a lot about you. He wanted to see that you were helped."
Something shifted inside of me. The thought of someone looking out for me when I had no idea who they were was nearly too much to handle. Has someone found me and brought me here?
I had trouble concentrating on what the nurse was saying because my thoughts were still racing trying to grasp something that kept eluding me.
I trembled as I asked "Do you remember who that was?"
I found it extremely strange and alien to think that a complete stranger would help me without expecting anything in return.
She shook her head "Sadly, no. He only made sure you were in good hands before leaving. He didn't stay. Regretfully, we were unable to identify him."
My heart became constrictive. I couldn't help but feel both emptiness and thankfulness. Who was the person who had taken the time to ensure my safety and why had he vanished so fast?
Unconsciously my hand went to my stomach and as I touched the tiny curve under the flimsy hospital gown, a wave of realization struck me like a ton of bricks.
My baby. The one I hadn't disclosed to anyone, the one, I couldn't even shield from this mess that had been my life. My mind was racing as I kept my fingers on my stomach.
" How is my baby?"
The nurse noticed my abrupt change in concentration and gave me a gentle smile. "Don't worry...We examined. The baby is fine. Perhaps a little shaken up but you two will be alright."
With a wave of relief, I let out a slow exhale. Knowing my child was safe when everything else seemed to be crumbling was an odd almost alien sensation. At least my child—my baby—was safe even though I had lost all sense of what I was doing.
That had to be taken into consideration. I was unable to determine how long I lay there thinking only that. Even when everything else seemed uncertain I was able to stay anchored by the thought of my child's safety.
My voice was low as I said "I don't understand. He helped me but who was he? What made him leave?"
The nurse's eyes became gentler. "I wish I had more to tell you. However occasionally there are those who lend a hand without expecting praise. He most likely believed that you would stay here and receive the care you require."
Feeling the weight of his absence, I muttered "I don't even know his name."
I was unable to comprehend the kindness of a complete stranger.
The nurse smiled at me empathetically. "Some people behave in that way. They're not looking for attention. They simply act morally because it is the proper thing to do."
I listened to her words and nodded slowly. They were comforting but they also evoked a strong desire...a desire to understand and learn more about the man who had stood by me during a time when I felt alone.
My mind began to wander once more but a sudden sound cut through the silence before I could sink too far into the mists. The silence of the room was sliced by the hinges of the door as they creaked loudly and it swung open.
I was blinded by the flood of light from the hallway for a few seconds. A long shadow was cast by a figure standing in the doorway.
The light behind him obscured his face but there was a tension in the air that seemed to change.
"You're awake." A familiar voice said cautiously and softly.
With a gentle ding the elevator doors closed behind us and my fleeting sense of relief vanished as soon as I got out. The two figures in front of us caught my attention right away as I scanned the corridor ahead. His daughter Desiree was standing a few feet away from Mr. Stark a tall man.They appeared poised and even courteous at first glance. However there was an obvious coolness in their eyes and I could feel it pressing down on me like an unseen weight which caused the tension in the air around us to suddenly increase.Trying not to lose my cool I braced myself.However my gut was telling me that these werent amiable people. I was meeting more than just business associates. I was meeting adversaries who were hiding behind smiles.“Oh Dear” Mr. Stark spoke first in a cool collected tone. “Ah Alexander its great to see you again” he said shaking hands firmly but icily. I observed the stiffness in my companions movements as he took Alexanders hand. In fact he was gripping Mr. Stark
Like a curtain closing on a plays opening act the elevator doors slid shut cutting off the surge of noise behind us. Floor by floor we started to rise toward the location I had practiced entering for weeks and the hum of the motor filled the quiet like a low mechanical whisper.We remained silent for several long seconds Alexander and I. In silence we simply stood next to each other. It was a heavy silence full of a thousand unspoken thoughts that neither of us wanted to break too soon but it wasnt awkward.My heart had been racing ever since I got out of the car but I was able to catch my breath in this silver box. Staring back at me from the smooth elevator walls was my reflection. She remained calm. Stylish. Unflinching.At the back of my neck however I could feel the perspiration building. The way my shoulders tensed up. My breathing was merely a bit too shallow.When Alexander finally broke the silence he said “Youre doing great.” His voice was comforting warm and low. I looked
My breath caught as the car rolled slowly through the opulent front gates and we entered the companys grounds. I had seen images before. glimpses in periodicals. Business reports make reference to this. But nothing nothing at all prepared me for what I saw.The structure loomed like a glass titan looming over everything in its path. Like sheets of polished crystal the sky was reflected by every window as it gleamed in the morning light. Not only was the building tall but it was also strong. terrifying. Crisp clean edges.Glass and metal extending into the clouds. where you were reminded of your role in the world. And mine felt so so tiny at that moment. I straightened my posture encircling the purse in my lap with my fingers. My pulse was pounding frantically against my skin as my heart pounded a bit more forcefully. I wasnt supposed to be here. No not actually. Fiona was not me. Despite my efforts to dress like her walk like her and practice her manners in front of a mirror I was s
I was unaware that I had stopped breathing until she came into full view. For one second just one second I really thought Fiona was coming toward me. You know I couldnt even think straight. Ava Fiona or—God.She appeared to be a vision taken directly from a memory as she approached me. Fionas favorite office attire was worn by her: a high-waisted black pencil skirt that fell just below the knees a fitted ivory blazer that was neatly cinched at the waist and a pair of nude heels that clicked elegantly with every step.Like Fiona preferred her hair was styled in a sleek bun with not a single strand out of place and her makeup was understated yet effective. sophisticated. poised without apology. She didnt only dress like Fiona. She was wearing her. It was all very Fiona—her stance her gait the way her chin raised just a little the way her eyes scanned her path before each step. Every movement was purposeful. written. polished. And I almost broke. I was immobile.With my feet planted fi
The time had come.I tried to ignore the queasy feeling that had been in my stomach all morning as I continued to look at my watch and count down the minutes. With each second that went by the second hand on my watch grew louder as time slid by.The type of tick-tick-tick that seemed to be reverberating inside my brain and penetrating my ideas like a nail driven into wood by a hammer. For two months. I hadnt entered that building with Fiona in tow for two months. It had been two months. typical. Or as near to normal as this world we made could ever arrive at. Fiona had been there with me during that time holding her position as if it were instinctive and I had entered as a leader and a partner. Our roles had a nearly musical rhythm. an ideal balance.Now however things had changed. I was now standing in front of the car outside my body rigid my mind racing with ideas that I was unable to suppress. My fingers kept tapping the side of the car my heart was beating a little too quickly a
I stood straight but not stiff is how. My shoulders were at ease. Chin raised just enough to demonstrate presence never in a haughty manner. I had spent days practicing the walk. I was also honing it today. I took a step stopped turned and took a step back.With a pen in hand and a notepad on her lap Viola sat with one leg folded across the other writing notes in her neat controlled handwriting. Just behind her Alexander stood with his arms crossed and his eyes alert. Observing once more continuously observing.I turned again putting my feet precisely where I had drawn the smallest chalk line on the floor before. Then I slowly turned my head looked directly into Violas eyes and remained silent. “Wait. Better” she uttered. “The timing was good but the turn was still a bit too soft. The confidence is coming in.”Defying the impulse to smile I nodded. As she turned a page she continued “Youre almost there. . Now—the voice.” It was more difficult then. Fiona was calm. Awesome. Nearly f