Chapter 2

Clara pestered Julian until he gave in and came over, and he put the book in my hands.

He turned to go. I took a breath.

"I've followed the professor since nobody knew his name. I'm the one who gave him his pen name."

Then I lifted my face and looked him in the eye.

The room was loud. Julian gave no sign of hearing me. His body checked for half a second, and then he turned away.

I reached out and caught the hem of his jacket. "Professor. I'm still waiting for your answer."

Years ago, when I told him how I felt, his ears went scarlet and he couldn't get a word out. I'd held his jacket exactly like this. Julian, I'm still waiting for your answer.

And in my head I told him: if you claim me now, I'll forgive you.

Julian turned back with a smile that was warm and completely distant. "Oh, it's you. It's been so long it took me a second. I'm sorry. I've got a few more copies in my office. Come with me, I'll get you one."

He steered me out. In the lobby I planted my feet and refused to go any farther.

His hands closed on my shoulders. "Lena, what's wrong? We agreed—"

"That it isn't safe? Julian, are you scared I'm not safe, or are you scared they'll find out the brilliant Professor Gyver has a blind wife he can't put on display?"

His brows drew together. "Lena, don't talk about yourself like that. I've never been ashamed of you. But you can't even see where the food is. I don't have anything left over tonight to take care of you with."

My throat tightened, and the tears were half a second away.

Panic came into his eyes. He wiped them away with his thumb.

"Lena, this is work. Clara's my student. Looking after her is my job. Come on. There are too many people here. Let me take you home first."

Too many people. It had practically become his catchphrase.

"Julian, can we go to the music festival?"

"There'll be too many people. You'll get knocked around."

"Julian, will you take me to the grocery store?"

"It'll be packed. Tell me what you want and I'll bring it back."

"Julian, can I be the one who brings you flowers at your launch?"

"Lena, that's not really appropriate."

Back then I'd still hang off his arm and pout. "You said I'd be the first person to hand you flowers every time you put out a new book."

He'd sigh. "There'll be too many people. I'm afraid I won't find you."

I thought about our first year together. The amusement park, the parade that swept between us. Within minutes he'd come through that crowd and taken my hand like he'd never lost it.

I asked how he'd found me with so many people there. He said when you love someone, that person glows. It doesn't matter where they are in a crowd, you see them first. Lena, I love you. Wherever you are, I'll always find you in one look.

I couldn't tell anymore whether he'd stopped loving me, or whether all of that had only ever been a writer being good with words.

"Julian, post about me. Right now."

His hands went still on my seat belt.

"Just say I'm your wife. Then I'll go home without another word."

He locked the doors anyway, and tucked my hair behind my ear. "We agreed to keep it quiet. I'm at a critical point in my career, and there's a review coming. Public perception matters right now."

"Nobody knows I'm your wife. They're asking whether you're going to marry Clara."

He laughed, helpless.

"That's just talk at the dinner table. Don't take it seriously."

Then his phone lit up. Clara was calling.

"Professor, where'd you go? If you don't come back soon, they're going to get me drunk."

Her voice came soft and complaining through the speaker.

Julian barely thought about it. He put my cane back in my hand.

"Lena, she doesn't sound right. I'm going to run up there. Wait in the car."

He jogged a few steps, then doubled back and helped me out of the car again.

"Actually, I'll probably have to drive her home after. Here's cash. Take a taxi."

He pushed a few bills into my hand and left me standing in the middle of an enormous parking garage.

Right then, he could forget all over again that I couldn't see.