1.91 ANTONIO

I look down at Caroline with a smile. She had fallen asleep downstairs after our second movie, and we had carried her upstairs to the bedroom. It was odd, not ending the night buried inside her. At first, when she had asked us to be celibate for eight months, it had upset me for several reasons. Obviously, as a man it's difficult to go that long without sex.

But the real reason, is that I thought she didn't want me anymore. I could see the way she looked at Nick, could see the way she cared for him. Loved him. She laughed with him, smiled with him.

She called him pet names first.

She always looked to him when she was upset.

She always wanted his comfort, always wanted his support.

She never needed mine.

I had felt that she was only with me because she thought she needed to be in order to be with Nick.

Of course, I kept this bottled up inside me. I could never tell her how I felt.

But Nick had started to sense my distance. I didn't want to get in the way of them loving eac