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Chapter 10: Not Yet
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2025-04-14 23:31:51Who was she even fighting for?
For a husband who loved another woman? For a marriage that was never hers to begin with? For a love that was never meant for her? A bitter, humorless laugh escaped her lips. What was the point of all her struggles, all her sacrifices, if in the end, she was the only one holding on? She had spent years trying to fix something that was doomed from the start. Why had she been so foolish? Why had she agreed to this marriage, knowing Lucas didn’t love her? Not only had she destroyed Lucas' happiness, but she had also ruined her own. Her hands curled into the sheets, gripping them tightly. Should she just give up? Should she finally end this marriage and give Lucas the freedom he had always wanted? Maybe then, he would finally forgive her. Maybe then, she wouldn’t have to keep living like this—chasing after someone who would never look back at her. Wouldn't that be the right thing to do? If she truly loved Lucas, shouldn’t she set him free? The thought sent a sharp pang through her chest. She imagined herself walking away. Letting him go. Watching him be with the woman he truly loved. And it hurt. It hurt so much she could barely breathe. She squeezed her eyes shut as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. No. No matter how much she tried to convince herself that letting go was the right thing to do, her heart refused to listen. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t let him go. A hollow laugh escaped her lips as she wiped her tears, even though they wouldn’t stop falling. She must be insane. What kind of woman holds onto a man who will never love her back? Why couldn’t she bring herself to let him go? She knew it was wrong. She knew she was being selfish. But she couldn’t help it. She couldn't imagine a life without Lucas. She loved him too much. “Dear God…” she whispered, her voice trembling. “Please… even just this once… let me have him.” The guilt gnawed at her, but she couldn't change how she felt. She pitied Riah. She truly did. But she couldn’t give Lucas back. She wouldn’t. Even if it made her the villain in this story. Even if it made her a selfish, desperate woman. She was still his wife. They were still legally married. And as long as she held that title, she still had a chance. She had to believe that. She had to try. A shaky breath left her lips as she wiped away her tears, her resolve hardening. She would fix this marriage. She had to. She knew this wasn’t healthy. She knew she was only setting herself up for more pain. But it didn’t matter. Because she loved him. She loved him more than she loved herself. And no matter how much it hurt… she wasn’t ready to let go. Not yet. Not now. Lara took a deep breath, wiping away the last traces of her tears. She forced herself to get up and went straight to the bathroom, letting the warm water wash away her exhaustion. She didn’t bother putting on full makeup, only dabbing on extra concealer under her eyes to hide the puffiness from crying. The last thing she wanted was for Lucas to see her looking so weak, so broken. Once she was satisfied with how she looked—presentable but not overly done—she stepped out of her room and headed straight to the kitchen. Cooking had always been a small way for her to show her love for Lucas, even if he rarely appreciated it. Today was no different. She prepared a simple breakfast—black coffee and hangover soup. She doubted he would refuse, knowing he had gotten himself drunk last night. Whether he liked it or not, he needed something in his system before heading to work. He didn’t have time to be picky. Just as she finished setting the table, she heard footsteps behind her. Turning around, she saw Lucas enter the kitchen, looking as composed as ever.
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