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Chapter 10: Not Yet
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2025-04-14 23:31:51Who was she even fighting for?
For a husband who loved another woman? For a marriage that was never hers to begin with? For a love that was never meant for her? A bitter, humorless laugh escaped her lips. What was the point of all her struggles, all her sacrifices, if in the end, she was the only one holding on? She had spent years trying to fix something that was doomed from the start. Why had she been so foolish? Why had she agreed to this marriage, knowing Lucas didn’t love her? Not only had she destroyed Lucas' happiness, but she had also ruined her own. Her hands curled into the sheets, gripping them tightly. Should she just give up? Should she finally end this marriage and give Lucas the freedom he had always wanted? Maybe then, he would finally forgive her. Maybe then, she wouldn’t have to keep living like this—chasing after someone who would never look back at her. Wouldn't that be the right thing to do? If she truly loved Lucas, shouldn’t she set him free? The thought sent a sharp pang through her chest. She imagined herself walking away. Letting him go. Watching him be with the woman he truly loved. And it hurt. It hurt so much she could barely breathe. She squeezed her eyes shut as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. No. No matter how much she tried to convince herself that letting go was the right thing to do, her heart refused to listen. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t let him go. A hollow laugh escaped her lips as she wiped her tears, even though they wouldn’t stop falling. She must be insane. What kind of woman holds onto a man who will never love her back? Why couldn’t she bring herself to let him go? She knew it was wrong. She knew she was being selfish. But she couldn’t help it. She couldn't imagine a life without Lucas. She loved him too much. “Dear God…” she whispered, her voice trembling. “Please… even just this once… let me have him.” The guilt gnawed at her, but she couldn't change how she felt. She pitied Riah. She truly did. But she couldn’t give Lucas back. She wouldn’t. Even if it made her the villain in this story. Even if it made her a selfish, desperate woman. She was still his wife. They were still legally married. And as long as she held that title, she still had a chance. She had to believe that. She had to try. A shaky breath left her lips as she wiped away her tears, her resolve hardening. She would fix this marriage. She had to. She knew this wasn’t healthy. She knew she was only setting herself up for more pain. But it didn’t matter. Because she loved him. She loved him more than she loved herself. And no matter how much it hurt… she wasn’t ready to let go. Not yet. Not now. Lara took a deep breath, wiping away the last traces of her tears. She forced herself to get up and went straight to the bathroom, letting the warm water wash away her exhaustion. She didn’t bother putting on full makeup, only dabbing on extra concealer under her eyes to hide the puffiness from crying. The last thing she wanted was for Lucas to see her looking so weak, so broken. Once she was satisfied with how she looked—presentable but not overly done—she stepped out of her room and headed straight to the kitchen. Cooking had always been a small way for her to show her love for Lucas, even if he rarely appreciated it. Today was no different. She prepared a simple breakfast—black coffee and hangover soup. She doubted he would refuse, knowing he had gotten himself drunk last night. Whether he liked it or not, he needed something in his system before heading to work. He didn’t have time to be picky. Just as she finished setting the table, she heard footsteps behind her. Turning around, she saw Lucas enter the kitchen, looking as composed as ever.
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If she hadn’t seen him drunk out of his mind just a few hours ago, she never would’ve guessed he had been drinking all night. He had already taken a shower, his hair neatly styled, his suit impeccable. The only sign of his hangover was the faint crease between his brows, a sign of the headache he was surely battling. Seeing him, Lara hesitated. She didn't know how to act around him after what had happened. Just looking at him brought back the unbearable pain from last night. She wanted to confront him. Who is Riah? Do you truly love her? Do you still meet her? Her heart screamed for answers, but her mind held her back. She knew better than to ask. Confronting him wouldn’t change anything—it would only push him further away, maybe even give him another reason to hurt her. So she did what she always did. She forced a smile. “G-Good morning, honey,” she greeted, her voice soft yet uncertain. Lucas barely spared her a glance. His gaze remained indifferent as he walked past her,
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Saturday arrived quicker than Lara anticipated. The past few days had flown by in a blur, with her mind preoccupied by the school’s English Month event. The busy schedule served as a temporary distraction, allowing her to momentarily push aside the haunting memory of Lucas calling out another woman's name in his drunken state. But just because she was distracted didn't mean she had forgotten. The wound was still fresh, buried beneath layers of denial and forced smiles.She hadn't seen much of Lucas since that morning. He would come home late—long after she had fallen asleep—and leave early in the morning before she could even catch a glimpse of him. The small voice in the back of her mind whispered cruel suspicions—was he meeting Riah? Was that where he spent those long hours away? She knew she was overthinking, maybe even being paranoid, but the thought gnawed at her relentlessly. She didn't want to doubt him. But how could she not when he had already broken her heart without even r
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As they stepped inside, the scent of home-cooked meals filled the air. The house hadn’t changed—same warm, inviting ambiance, the faint floral scent her mother always loved, and the sound of a television playing in the background.“Lara, sweetheart!”Her mother’s excited voice pulled her from her thoughts. In a heartbeat, her mother, Emilia, rushed toward her, enveloping her in a warm embrace.“I missed you, darling. You don’t visit enough,” her mother said, pulling away to cup her face.“I know, Mom. I’m sorry.”As soon as her mother released her, she turned to Lucas, her expression filled with warmth.“And my handsome son-in-law,” Emilia beamed before pulling Lucas into an embrace as well.Lucas visibly stiffened, clearly unprepared for the gesture. Lara almost laughed at the rare sight. But, he quickly composed himself, managing a small, polite smile.“Thank you for having me,” Lucas said.“Oh, come now, you don’t have to be so formal,” Emilia scolded playfully, waving her hand. “Y
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She turned to Lucas, but his expression remained unreadable. Was he… actually agreeing with her father?Manuel, clearly not expecting that response, grunted before returning to his food, while Emilia smiled, pleased.They continued eating, with her mother filling the silence with small talk. “I’m really happy you two visited. The house has been too quiet lately. Your brother is rarely home with his busy schedule. I miss having life in this house.”Lara smiled, but before she could respond, her mother’s next words made her stomach drop.“It would be nice to have little feet running around again.” she mused.Lara almost choked on her food.She knew it. She knew her mother wouldn’t let this visit pass without bringing up this topic.She stole a glance at Lucas and found that he, too, seemed slightly taken aback.Emilia raised a brow, feigning innocence. “What? I’m just saying.” Then, she smiled, eyes glinting mischievously. “But honestly, I’d love it if it became reality. When are you tw
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She stepped back inside the house, closing the door softly behind her. She took a deep breath, trying to shake off the lingering heaviness in her chest. Her parents were still in the living room, sitting together on the couch. Her mother was leaning against her father, watching something on his iPod, her expression one of amusement. Her father, looked more focused, occasionally adjusting his glasses as he scrolled through the screen. Sensing her presence, her mother looked up. “Lucas already left?” she asked. Lara nodded, forcing a small smile. “Yeah. He just left.” Her mother sighed, shaking her head. “I wish he could’ve stayed longer. But of course, it’s always about the company.” She frowned slightly before adding, “It reminds me of before—when your father used to do the same thing.” At that, her father scoffed, setting his iPod down as he turned to his wife. “Don’t compare me to that man. I knew how to make time for my family.” Lara’s mother rolled her eyes. “Oh, pleas
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The hot water felt soothing against her skin, washing away the exhaustion of the day. As she let the steam envelop her, she found herself thinking about Lucas again—about the way he had coldly reminded her not to get the wrong idea, how he left without a second glance. She knew she shouldn’t care. She knew she had no right to expect anything from him. And yet, the familiar sting in her chest reminded her that some wounds weren’t so easy to ignore.Pushing those thoughts aside, she finished her shower, changed into her fresh clothes, and towel-dried her hair. Then, she climbed onto her bed, leaning back against the headboard with a sigh.Reaching for her phone, she unlocked the screen and absentmindedly opened Instagram.Her fingers hesitated for a second before typing a familiar name into the search bar. Eievan Duke Sandejas.It had been a while since she last checked his account. She used to visit it from time to time, just to see how he was doing, but life had gotten too busy lately
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Lara stood frozen. Her mind reeled as the pieces started fitting together—pieces she never even realized were part of the puzzle. She thought back to that day so long ago—when her parents casually asked what she thought of Lucas. She’d smiled then, cheeks warm, and told them she liked him. Naively. Innocently. She had no idea there were already quiet talks happening between their families. She didn’t know that her little confession might have set everything in motion. Her throat tightened. So it was me. Her father had always admired Lucas. He used to mention how driven he was, how sharp, how impressive for someone his age. If she, his beloved daughter, also expressed interest in him… maybe her father had seen that as a sign. A confirmation. A chance to ensure her happiness while also securing a strategic alliance. He probably thought he was doing the right thing. But he wasn’t. He really shouldn’t have done that. He shouldn’t have meddled. Shouldn’t have played cupid
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Lara’s jaw clenched as she took a mental step back, locking her emotions away before they could spill over. She looked at Riah, eyes cold. “It doesn’t matter,” Lara said stiffly, her voice clipped. “Whether you’re together or not—it makes no difference to me anymore. The annulment is happening. Whatever you’re trying to do here… it changes nothing.” Riah’s expression faltered. “Are you really going through with it?” she asked, her tone etched with worry and hint of desperation. “What about Lucas? I thought… you loved him.” Lara let out a slow, tired breath. “I did. God knows I did.” she admitted. “But I love myself too. And I’m done wasting my time on someone who can’t see my worth.” “But Lucas loves you!” Riah said suddenly, her voice rising slightly. Lara blinked, stunned for a moment. Then she let out a dry, humorless laugh. “Love? Really? He loves me?” Her tone dripped with sarcasm. “Come on, Riah. You’re making me laugh. Lucas has only ever loved one woman—and it sure
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The sun was dipping low outside the school gates, casting soft amber streaks on the floors of the small waiting area. Lara sat on one of the low benches, her posture relaxed, listening to Ram chatter animatedly about a new cartoon she’d seen. The little girl’s eyes sparkled with excitement, her tiny hands flailing as she described her favorite scene. “…and then Ate bought me a new pink unicorn! It lights up when you press its tummy, and it even sings, Teacher Lara!” Ram beamed. Lara smiled, brushing a strand of hair from the little girl’s forehead. “Really? That sounds magical.” Ram nodded excitedly. “I’ll bring it tomorrow!” Just then, Maera, her assistant, called out from across the room, “Ram! Your guardian’s here.” Ram perked up immediately, scrambling to her feet with an excited gasp. “Yay!” Lara leaned down to help Ram put on her backpack and fix the strap that had twisted awkwardly. “There you go, sweetie.” “Thank you, Teacher Lara!” Ram gave her a quick hug befor
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Ali, of course, wasn’t done. She leaned forward, voice full of mischief. “What if he’s into you, though? Maybe he’s being nice because he likes you. You know? Like those K-drama storylines? Stoic guy falls for the girl who’s been through hell? It’s totally plausible!” She cross her arms, still grinning. “I mean, like, c’mon, you’re a total catch, Lara. Aside from the trash you married, you’re perfect. Any guy would be lucky to have you. Lucas is the only person blind enough not to see that.” Despite the dig at Lucas, Lara couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, Ali, you really know how to flatter a girl. But I think you need to stop watching K-dramas. Your imagination’s getting a little wild. Reagan’s just being kind. Don’t make an issue out of nothing.” Ali huffed, leaning back. “I’m just saying! It’s not impossible. Duke, back me up here.” Duke shrugged. “I dunno. Reagan’s not exactly the flirty type. Girls chase after him, not the other way around. He entertains them when he’s bored, b
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When Lara stepped into her condo, the silence wrapped around her like a blanket—familiar, quiet, and oddly comforting.She kicked off her shoes by the door, the echo of their fall the only sound in the stillness. The weight of the night lingered on her shoulders like a heavy residue.After everything that happened at the bar—after seeing Lucas act like that, hearing him say things he probably wouldn’t even remember tomorrow—it only solidified her decision.She was done letting his confusion derail her healing.No more doubts. No more delays.Without wasting a moment, she headed to the study room.She slid into the chair and opened her laptop, the familiar whir of it powering on grounding her slightly.Earlier that morning, Atty. Mendez had texted her that she had sent over the checklist and questions needed for the annulment. Lara hadn’t opened it then—part of her still wasn’t sure if she was ready.But tonight changed that.She clicked into her Gmail and found the email sitting at th
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It took nearly half an hour before they reached the bar. Reagan parked by the curb, casting a glance at Lara before they stepped out of the car. The place was packed and loud—music pounding from the speakers, laughter spilling over the chatter, the scent of alcohol and smoke heavy in the air. Reagan instinctively moved closer, his hand gently resting on her shoulder, shielding her from the jostling crowd. Lara was grateful for the small gesture. Her nerves were already frayed, and his quiet steadiness was the one thing keeping her grounded. When they reached the counter, Lara spotted them immediately. Izek sat sideways on a barstool, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else. And beside him—slumped pathetically over the counter—was Lucas. But what made Lara stop cold in her tracks wasn’t either of them—it was the woman standing in front of them. Riah. Her chest tightened, a sick feeling rising in her stomach. What the hell is this? Why was she here? Did Lucas call h
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It was a call. From Lucas. The name alone made her stomach twist. Why was he calling her now? At this hour? Her instinct was to silence the phone and shove it back in her pocket, but she was frozen. Reagan’s eyes narrowed slightly as he noticed the shift in her expression. “Everything okay?” She looked up and forced a small smile, shaking her head. “It’s nothing.” The phone stopped ringing… only to start again a few seconds later. Lara exhaled sharply, the burrito now forgotten in her hand. She glanced at Reagan, apologetically. “I’ll just take this. Give me a sec,” Lara walked a few steps away, toward a less crowded corner of the street. She hesitated for a beat before answering. “Lucas?” she asked, already on edge. “Why are you calling?” But it wasn’t his voice that greeted her. [“Hi, um… sorry. I’m not Lucas,”] a woman said on the other end. Lara blinked, confusion knitting her brows. “Then who are you? Why do you have his phone?” The woman hesitated, then replied vagu
