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VIII.3

IDRIS LYKAIOS

I thought Wilhelmina showing up to my apartment unannounced was already exasperating but the following day became the worst. I’ve been in a vacillating battle with myself all day long. On one end, I’m having this bubbling urge of wanting to see Roger, perhaps strike a private conversation with him about why did he kissed me. I just thought I needed to know the reason behind and I might have to admit that it kept me up all night. That was the very first time in a decade that someone had stroked my emotion the way Roger did. On the other end, I don’t want to see him at all because I’m frightened that I might just falter. I thought I’ve already obliterated attraction out from my vocabulary but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

I can’t seem to fathom why I’m having this sudden desire to see Roger in the first place. I don’t even understand why I’m thinking about him and that stupid fucking kiss. It’s been fucking up my mind and I can’t seem to find a way to cease thinking ab
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