Chapter 4

Seraphina's POV 

The moment I tasted that well garnished lamb, I felt my nerves calm down. That was the sweetest thing I had eaten in my entire life. It was soft, savoury and perfect. I couldn't get enough of it so I threw away my shame and ate like never before.

Raising my head after I finished eating, I noticed Ronan looking at me critically, his face twisted into an expression I couldn't quite place.

Now that he has fed me, would he want to have sex with me? My heart raced at the thought. Yes... I think he would and that explains when he's looking at me like that.

"I'm tired...." I said quickly. 

He didn't argue. Instead he nodded slowly, motioned to the maid and ordered her to escort me to my room.

I was almost touched by his kindness, but he's an asshole. I reminded myself.

______

"That lamb is so nice," I told the maid escorting me back to my chamber. "Can I get more later?"

She didn't answer me immediately. She just looked at me strangely like I have suddenly grown horns.

"......why?" I managed.

She regained herself. "Nothing, your Highness," she said softly, shaking her head. "It's just that you've changed a lot. You couldn't stand the sight of lamb in the past but now you like it a lot. I don't know being away for a long time could change one's food preferences. But—"

I blinked. Luna Evelyn didn't like lamb? How? Why? Lamb was the best food for most wolves. How could she hate something so delicious? ....And that explains why Ronan had looked at me like that. He must have figured it out: I'm not her. 

No. He can't find out. 

Before she could finish, I swung into my dramatic action yet again.

I grabbed my stomach and let out a soft, strained and exaggerated groan. “Ugh… my stomach—”

I stumbled a little and pretended to gag, rushing toward the grass in a corner. My body trembled as I bent over it, making dry retching sounds as if my stomach was hurting a lot.

The maid rushed to my side, her voice laced with fear. “Your Highness?”

“I think… the lamb,” I whispered, my voice weak. “They didn’t… sit well.” 

"Ohhhh." 

Two other maids joined her. I slung my hands around their necks at both sides and they led me into my room.

The Queen's room was nothing short of imagination. It was grand, well furnished, sparkling and smelled heavenly. But it was no surprise because I heard they've been cleaning the room every day even in her absence.

They assisted me to get into the king-size bed, which was so soft that it sunk right in and pulled the covers over me. 

Soon enough, one of the maids ran off to fetch Ronan. In no time, he soon arrived and was at my side, kneeling, his face pale with worry. “Evelyn…?”

I held my stomach and winced. “You should’ve stopped me,” I whispered. “I forgot… because of my memory. I forgot I hated lamb.”

His jaw clenched, regret flashing on his face. “I’m sorry, my love. I should’ve remembered. I just— I didn’t want to make you feel… different.”

I smiled inside. Yes. I got him again.

I gave him a weak smile. He held my hand and whispered reassuring words to me until the physician came. The silver haired man gave me some medication for stomach ache and also tiredness. 

I took them and soon fell asleep, even though I had fought it. When I woke up Ronan wasn't there. 

I didn't get well immediately. No. I feigned the sickness for two more days just to make it believable.

______

One Week Later

The days passed and the charade became easier. Everyone addressed me My Queen. The staff bowed lower, the servants became more attentive, and even Ronan softened a bit. 

The palace bubbled with activities. Invites has been sent across the kingdom for my Welcome Back Party. Ronan had planned a feast.

He visited every evening, sometimes just to watch me read or sit beside me as if making up for all the lost time. But I couldn't ignore the subtle sign of regret I'd see on his face anytime he thought I wasn't staring.

I was really anxious at first but soon I was able to compose myself because I realised my nervousness was going to get me caught.

One morning he bought me a leather bound diary, placing it gently on the stool before me.

“This belonged to you,” he said. “I’ve kept it since you disappeared. Maybe it’ll help you feel less like a stranger.” I took with a grateful smile and watched as he left the room.

It was delicate, worn at the edges from the several years that its been used.

At first I felt bad for owning something so private, so precious. But I realised it was necessary.

I opened it and it was filled with loopy handwriting written in black ink. Evelyn's handwriting.

“Today, Ronan looked at me so softly that it made my heart skipped a bit. Was he starting to feel something for me?...…”

"Today, the noble women talked about the Pack leadership over tea. I'm glad to be the Luna even though they think I don't deserve it....

"It's mother and father's death anniversary today. I hope you both are with the Moon Goddess...."

“Ronan had gone to war in the north and I miss him more than I should admit…”

“I fear I’m not enough for him…”

Page after page, Evelyn’s emotions poured through. She was soft. Loving. Desperately loyal. And heartbreakingly lonely too. And that made me wonder what the hell was happening.

I thought Ronan liked her and that was he never believed her death. I thought the people loved her as their Luna from the way they had received me back. But from the few pages I had read in this diary it seems that isn't the case.

She was a good Queen to the people who didn't want her. She was a good daughter. She was a good wife. She loved Ronan so much. More than he deserved. She cared about the Pack members more than herself.

I closed the diary, feeling a strange knot in my chest. She was a better woman than I would ever be. Far too good for this hideous and secret lurking palace.

But.... how and why did she disappear? The reason wasn't in the diary.

Who was Evelyn, really?

Clearly... I wasn't her. And I could never be. The real me always echoed that everyday. 

But I would like to find out the truth and why she wrote down such heartbreaking words. 

_____

The Morning After

The bath was warm and laced with petals. Lavender, rose, and orange blossoms floated around me, the scent heavy and dizzying. I leaned back into the smooth tub and let my eyes flutter shut.

For a moment, it felt… peaceful. Ethereal peace. Surprisingly I felt more comfortable here than at the Rogue kingdom where I couldn't have a moment of peace or rest. If I wasn't on a mission for the Rogue king, then I was serving him in the bedroom or training.

Then I heard the water shift. A ripple. A step. I quickly opened my eyes and the sight before me made me freeze.

Ronan. He was completely naked.

His broad chest glistened, and water ran down his hard muscles. His thick cock stood bold between his legs. I almost gasped, but bit my tongue and forced a weak smile instead.

“Ronan....what are you doing?” I whispered.

“You didn’t even notice me walk in,” he murmured. “How come you can’t feel my scent?”

My pulse raced. I faked a chuckle, then an excuse. “The bath… the flowers. It’s too strong. I couldn’t pick up anything else."

"Hmmm." He nodded slowly but didn’t look too convinced.

Then, in one swift motion, he stepped closer and knelt in the water beside me. I almost screamed as his large hands stretched out, grabbing my breasts and squeezing it. Before I could blink, his mouth closed around the other nipple. 

“gods… I missed this so much," he groaned against my nipple in his mouth, the vibration sending shivers through me.

Of course, he would. He has never been with any woman in the past two years.

I sat stiff, heart hammering, and breath shallow. My hands were tingling to push him off me, but I couldn't so I clenched it tightly.

Then he pulled back and sat in the tub behind me. He pulled me back into him, and I almost screamed when I felt his hot and hard cock pressing against my ass cheeks. He slung his hand around my neck, his lips found my neck, trailing kisses over the skin.

Fuck! I closed my eyes, my body growing with needs that shouldn't be. For now, I'm still trying to look past the fact that he ruined my life before my seduction plans followed.

Then he stopped behind my ear and whispered, “Where’s the butterfly tattoo that used to be on your neck?”