Chapter 30

Ayla's brow furrowed, her eyes scanning across the dimly lit hallway as she and Ethan stood in the middle of the elder council room of the Moon Shadow Pack surrounded by cold silence. Elders looked amongst themselves, faces impassive, eyes secretive behind the doors they vowed to never open.

"Someone has to know something about where they took the pups," Ayla insisted.

One of the elders sighed and watched as Ethan looked away before setting his gaze once more on her. "We have our ways, Luna Ayla, but not all can be let out for outsiders to know."

Ethan advanced another step, eyes leading in a firestorm of anger that was barely contained. "Outsiders?" he snapped. "This is about innocent lives, our pups. Withholding information puts you on the wrong side.”

The elder fidgeted, his glance bobbing between them. "Our loyalty is to our own," he muttered.

Ayla's jaw flexed. "And here I thought this pack had a sense of justice." Her gaze flashed sideward, a frustration-laced glance at Ethan.

Ethan's voice gentled somewhat, though his frustration was plain as day. "Elders, we are not here for trouble. We're here for answers. You have to know something.”

The elders had nothing more to add, and Ayla reached the snapping point. Turning on her heel, she stormed from the council room as her frustration boiled over. Ethan followed, catching up with her as they walked down the packhouse corridors.

"Why won't they just give us a straight answer?" Ayla muttered, tense shoulders folding her arms.

Ethan's voice was low, but the edge of old protection lacing his tone was caught easily enough. "They're scared, Ayla. Or there's something deeper underlying that we can't see."

She turned to him, face contorted in a mask of pain and weariness. "I thought coming here would yield answers finally. Now it feels as though all we do is run into walls.”

Ethan's hand rose to cradle her shoulder in a light, comforting touch. "We'll figure it out. Together."

Ayla's expression softened then. A flicker of doubt danced across her eyes. "You really believe that?”

Ethan's hand was still on her shoulder; his thumb rubbed thoughtlessly against her jacket. "I do. And I'll be right there beside you when it gets rough." He caught himself then and finished, "I promised to keep you safe, Ayla. And I will."

She looked up into his eyes, and in that instant, the tough mask fell. "You will?

Ethan nodded, features softening as he held her gaze. "Always."

**********

The sun had already set, casting weak rays through the small window in the guest room onto Ayla, who sat on the bed's edge, mind churning over that useless search today. Ethan quietly entered; his face shadowed with concern shut the door behind him.

"Ayla…," he began in a hushed tone weighted by what lay unsaid between them. "Are you all right?"

She laughed mockingly and looked away. "If you mean stuck at one dead end after another, sure, I'm perfectly fine."

Ethan sat beside her, pressed close enough that she felt his warmth but far enough away to speak volumes for complication. "We'll find them. I know it feels hopeless, but we can't give up now."

Ayla shook her head, frustration laced into the hurt she'd so long buried. "It's not just that," she whispered. "It's everything… everything I thought I left behind.

She glanced up and caught his gaze, the shadow of a haunted look in her eyes. "You don't know how it feels, Ethan. Being here with you, it brings up so much that I thought I'd forgotten."

He swallowed, and the weight of her words sank in. "Ayla, I know I hurt you back then. But you have to believe me, I didn't have a choice.”

Ayla's eyes finally landed; a flicker of pain crossed her features. "Didn't have a choice? You didn't just hurt me, Ethan. You destroyed me. You chose Sophia-my friend. You made her your Luna, left me… alone."

These words hung in the air, and for a moment Ethan felt his guilt claw at him raw as it had been that day when he'd made that choice. "I know. And I regret it every single day."

Ayla shook her head, anger bubbling just beneath the surface. "Do you? Because it doesn't seem like it.”

His voice shook, and he drew a deep breath in, hoping to still it. "Ayla… there are things you don't know. Things I can't explain, but that choice was… it was forced on me. If I'd had any real choice, it would've been you. Every time."

She turned away, features colored by incredulity. "Then why didn't you fight for it? For us?”

Ethan's voice had dwindled to a whisper. "Because sometimes fighting only serves to make things worse. The last thing I wanted was to bring you into a mess I couldn't clean up."

Ayla's eyes fluttered. "You say this now, but that does not change the past.”

The silence stretched between them, long moments. In one sudden motion, Ethan leaned forward and grasped her hand within his.

"Ayla," he rasped out, "I never stopped feeling it. The bond, the pull… it was always you. Even now, it's you."

Ayla's breath caught as his words washed over her, her heart racing in her chest. The old, familiar burn of the mate bond stirred within her-the one she had at one time or another thought long extinguished-stronger than ever after all these years.

"Ethan." she whispered, "I don't know if I can just forget what happened."

He leaned in closer now, his eyes ablaze with unsaid emotions. "I'm not asking you to forget. I'm asking you to let me try… to make it right."

And before she could respond to him, Ethan's hand reached out and touched her face, his fingers tracing along her cheek. The touch was tentative, as if he almost expected her to pull away. But she didn't.

She raised her eyes to his, and her gaze locked into his; for the first time in years, the pull of their bonding swept over her.

Ethan said nothing more, bridged the gap between them, and found her lips with a kiss so gentle yet burning. It had been a release of tension, regret, and longing into this one instant in time-their kiss lighting the spark that had lain dormant for far too long.

Ayla's breath caught on her answer and her arms went around his neck, dragging him closer. The room fell away and there was no one else, just the two of them, joined by the inexorable pull of the mate bond.

When they finally parted, panting, Ethan laid his forehead against hers. "I never wanted anyone else, Ayla. It was always you.”

Ayla's heart was racing, her fingers still tangled in his hair as she fought for steady breathing. She so desperately wanted to believe him, to take the real fall, but the pain of the past welled up within her far too strongly, reminding her of all they had lost.

"Ethan," she whispered, doubt clinging to the syllables. "This...it doesn't erase the past."

He nodded, his somber face hopeful. "I know. But maybe it's a start."

She shut her eyes as the warmth of his arms wrapped around her in comfort. And Ayla wanted to believe they had another chance, that the past wasn't necessarily what continued to daunt them.

But even as she took in his face, there was still a part of her that feared times to come: endless questions, danger, painful memories hiding between shades.

Ethan moved a stray tuft of hair off her face. His voice was low-a whisper. "Ayla… just give me a chance. To prove that this time, I am not going to let go."

The softening in Ayla's gaze came, her heart tugging between the love that was there and the pain that refused to dissipate.