Their Regret: I'm Not Your Luna Anymore

“Sir, your Luna is kneeling at the door, and it looks like she’s been there for quite a while. Today is your wedding anniversary…”

“...Let her in.”

*

(Siena's POV)

I, am Siena, Luna of the great Silverfang Pack. Tonight, I kneel in the rain.

Cold raindrops pelt against my skin, seeping through the thin fabric of my dress, but I don’t move. My legs are stiff, my knees pressed against the hard pavement outside the hospital door, but none of that compares to the pain in my chest.

Raiden is inside.

With her.

I tilt my face upward, raindrops trailing down my cheek like silent tears. I should leave, I tell myself. There is no place for me here…not anymore. After all, I have my pride to consider.

But that was who I used to be. Proud, unwilling to budge.

The version of me that existed before my father’s accident. Before Windhowl Pack, my home fell into financial ruin. Before, I realized the only person who could save my family was the same man who had never once looked upon me with love in his eyes.

The door creaks slowly open.

Heavy boots splash against the wet ground, stopping just a few steps in front of me. I lowered my gaze to see a pair of polished black boots.

One of Raiden’s subordinates.

“Luna,” the young wolf says stiffly, his voice laced with discomfort. He’s new to the pack; I do not recognize his scent. “Come inside; you have been summoned.”

Is this his pity? Or something more? Hesitation has its grip on my throat; tight ,icy little claws that refuse to let me go.

For a foolish second, hope sparks tinders in my chest, a desperate and fragile thing. Did Raiden remember our anniversary?

Did he want this too? Want me?

The soldier waits; his face is neutral, unreadable.

Steadying myself, rising to my feet, it’s hard to ignore the searing pain that shoots up my legs. Following him into the hospital, my soaked dress clings to my body; I feel vulnerable, almost naked.

With each step, my heart pounds harder, faster, threatening violence in its rhythm.

What will I see when that door is pushed open? What fresh hell will be revealed?

The questions are useless…deep in my heart, I already know.

Raiden.

He sits, smug, strong. As dark and cold as I ever remembered.

Beside him sits Lila.

She’s propped up against white hospital pillows, and a delicate gauze is wrapped around her wrist. Her long, golden curls cascades over her shoulders, perfectly arranged despite her supposedly tragic state.

Raiden stands, his hand adjusting the blanket over her legs with the utmost care. The gentleness is jarring.

He’s never touched me that way.

He doesn’t even look at me at first; it’s Lila who turns her head up, her lips curling into something that could almost resemble a smile, a smirk perhaps, I cannot tell.

“Oh, Siena,” she murmurs, her voice a soft mockery of sympathy. “ You poor thing. You’re soaked.”

Clenching my fists and biting my tongue, I try to breathe it out.

Lila knew exactly what she was doing when provoking me. When she flaunted that obnoxious expensive necklace from Raiden, whispering just loud enough for me to hear how much he must care to spend such a fortune on her.

I hadn’t cared then about the necklace, not really. I had never naked Raiden for jewelry or gifts.

I never asked him for anything.

But, Lila had perverted the truth, turned my anger into jealousy, my frustration into violence.

And now, here we are.

Finally, Raiden looks up at me. His eyes are cold, but they manage to sweep over my rain-drenched form.

“You’ve been kneeling at my door for long, Siena,” he says, “You have come to offer your apologies to Lila?”

His voice is calculated, melodic, and, if I’m not mistaken, seething with fury on my account.

I swallow hard, my throat is burning.

This had nothing to do with our anniversary; he hadn’t remembered what today meant.

Forcing myself to stand tall, the words of my request play on an unyielding loop. It’s something I’d been practicing all those long hours in the rain; it’s what kept me sane.

“I’ve come to discuss a matter. It’s…It’s important, Raiden.”

My voice is steadier than I had given myself credit for. “My pack, My father’s pack, is in trouble.”

There is a dead silence that’s settled over the room. His eyes remained fixed on me, but his mouth remained closed.

“You have come to ask—”

Lila starts in, but Raiden raises his hand; silencing her.

“There is a way in which we approach these sorts of matters, Siena.”

He’s going to make me beg.

“Raiden—”

“Lila is here, healing from wounds that you are responsible for. And, here you stand before me, making demands?”

“Raiden, I am not making demands. This is a request, an urgent one. I would not have come…”

For a split second, our eyes meet, and my words falter. I cannot bring myself to say another word.

“Raiden, this cannot—”

“Silence, Lila!” he growls. She whimpers but complies, staring down at me through daggers.“What is it? What is this urgent request?”

His generosity surprises me.

This is my one shot at helping my pack, my father. “I need money, Raiden. I need a loan.”

Raiden’s eyes narrowed. I knew him well enough to see a flicker of something in his gaze—concern? Surprise?

But before he could speak, Lila shuffles beside him, drawing his attention away from me.

“Oh, Raiden,” she sighs, reaching out weakly. “I feel faint…”

Instantly, he turns to her, as if there’s nothing else in the world that exists.

Nothing but her.

“Lila?”

He takes her hand.

I could be drowning in front of him; he wouldn’t even notice.

“She’s lying,” I whisper, but my voice is lost breath’s whisper. “She’s manuipulating you Raiden.”

“Siena.” Raiden’s voice is sharp, a razor- like warning. “Enough.”

Lila clutches his arm, her eyes filling with tears. “I..I don’t mean to cause trouble,” she whines, shaking her pathetic little head. “I know Siena is upset. I know she could never have wanted to hurt me. She probably thinks I’m trying to take her place.”

Her lower lip trembles.

“I would never,” she takes a tiny gasp of air, forcing her chest to heave.

Raiden exhales, rubbing his temple as if this conversation exhausts him. “You always do this Siena,” he mutters.

He says, “Twist things. Make yourself the victim. You hurt Lila and now you come here and ask me for money?”

I close my eyes. I hate him. I should argue back, I should fight. But I am tired. “Please Raiden, I —”

“Fine.”

The word stuns me; a greater assault than if he’d thrown me headfirst back out in the rain.

The look on Lila’s face assures me, she too didn’t see this coming. Raiden stiffens, studies me.

“But not before you appologieze.”

There it is, the condition.

“Raiden—” I inhale asharply.

“Not just any apology,” Lila interupts. Her voice is as sweet as honey but her eyes are wicked, sharp. There is nothing but coldness in her heart. “A real one. Get on you knees.”

My breah catches in my throat. I turn to Raiden, waiting for him to object. I am Luna, this … this cannot be allowed!

He says nothing. He looks down, away. As if the only way I can exist is by the grace of the ex-mate he holds so dear.

The last of my hope withered. I started at him, searching for the boy I once loved. The boy who had told me that mates should be loyal, that love was sacred.

That boy is long dead.

In his place, is a man who has never loved me. Who never will.

The image of my father, helpless, crosses my mind.

I sense Riaden stiffen again. He hadn’t expected me to do it.

"Forget it, Lila. She's too proud and stubborn. She's always so arrogant — that's why she hurt you. Do you really think she'd ever kneel and apologize to you?"Raidn says.

“If you’re not willing to apologize, then leave…”

But none of that is true; I am desperate.

I must yield...For my pack, for my father...!

Bowing my head, my voice is low but clear. “...Lila, I am sorry.”

Silence falls over the room.

Raiden is staring at me, I feel his eyes, but I do not return the gaze.

Slowly, I lowered myself.

The prospect of my dying pack releases my knee.

Perhaps he expected me to walk away, to go wild and lose control. But dignity, pride or a loose tongue will not save a pack; nor will it put food on the table of my brothers.

Raiden's shocked gaze can't be hidden.

“...Please give me money.”

I really kneeled down.