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These Seconds Are All I’ll Give You
These Seconds Are All I’ll Give You
Author: Honeyed Habit

Chapter 1

Author: Honeyed Habit
Tears welled up in my eyes.

I tried to present my most perfect self in my elaborate wedding dress and tall high heels, yet I could never compete with Ruth Trew for Ethan Nash’s attention, even though she was just sitting in the corner of the hall.

She did not have to do anything. He always kept an eye on her.

All she did was struggle to twist open the water bottle cap, and one annoyed look sent Ethan rushing over.

A dozen seconds was trivial and should not have mattered. But emotionally, those same seconds felt endless, like agony.

I took the microphone and said, “The wedding is off. I’m sorry for wasting everyone’s time. Dinner’s on me. I’ll return the gifts to everyone who brought one.”

With that, I turned and walked away.

Ethan was confused.

He followed after me and asked, “Why? Just because of those ten seconds?”

I pulled the curtain closed and changed out of my wedding dress as I answered.

“Yes.”

We started arguing.

“Why? That ten seconds didn’t delay anything. Remember you were ten minutes late because of traffic this morning? I let it go. So, why are you blowing up over my ten-second delay?”

I had already changed into my casual clothes.

The wedding dress and marriage felt like too heavy a commitment. I needed to think it through before wearing it.

Those ten seconds and being stuck in traffic for ten minutes that morning were not a big deal. It was never about the time. He just did not seem to get that.

Who did he think he was? What did he take me for?

I refused to accept being that far down on his priority list.

He softened his tone as he tried to explain, “Are you jealous? Ruth is like a little sister to me.

“She has low blood sugar, and that was her glucose drink. That’s the only reason I paid a little extra attention to her. If she’d fainted, it would’ve been really bad for our wedding, too.”

I looked at him with disappointment.

Ruth was surrounded by people. It would have been easy to handle, yet he had thought it was worth walking away from the altar of his own wedding to rush over to her.

The only explanation was that she was at the very top of his priority list.

Just like that time he insisted on waiting for her to arrive before taking the group photo, even though I had been standing there for so long that I had nearly passed out.

Once, he made me wait downstairs in the pouring rain while he went to pick her up. He did not even leave me an umbrella, and when he drove off, he splashed water all over me.

After I waited downstairs all night, all he said was, “Agnes, just grab a cab home first. I need to go take care of something with Ruth.”

I always end up having to step aside for her.

Put it another way. He could not even spare ten seconds to stay with me.

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  • These Seconds Are All I’ll Give You   Chapter 9

    When he arrived, Ruth was smiling smugly. She just knew Ethan could never bear to ignore her. As always, she wanted him to go buy her some water. “Get me the peach-flavored one.”He dodged her touch. He clenched his fists, almost wanting to hit her.He pulled out a video. “Ruth, why? I’ve always treated you well, haven’t I? Why would you do this to me?”She had no idea what was going on. Then, she saw herself in the video, drunk, showing off to someone.“That thing at the wedding? That was on purpose. I told Ethan I hadn’t eaten breakfast. I’ve always had low blood sugar, and he usually keeps a bottle of glucose drink ready for me. “Sure enough, one look from me and he came running. I have to say, Agnes had more guts than I thought. She actually called off the wedding.”She tried to explain, “No, no, it’s not like that.”But his expression had already turned terrifyingly dark. He did not bother to hear her out.“Why? What did I ever do to you? Why would you sabotage me and A

  • These Seconds Are All I’ll Give You   Chapter 8

    The wedding preparations were still underway.The day arrived.I picked my mother up from the hospital and took my sweet time getting ready.Elio had thought of everything.I had picked out all the jewelry, and I had chosen the wedding dress, too.Putting on a wedding dress again, I honestly could not put my feelings into words. Some choices really do call for careful thought. I just hoped I had not made the wrong one this time.Everything for the wedding was ready. My mother was waiting for me too. At that thought, I felt much more at ease.The wedding went far more smoothly than mine and Ethan’s.Elio had set out early in the morning.There was no waiting, and no traffic jams.I was soon picked up and brought to the venue.My mother took my hand and placed it in Elio’s. She was smiling the whole time.Elio and I exchanged rings. Everyone was happy for us.We would live a good life together.Only after the ceremony was over did I learn what happened.Ethan had rushed ov

  • These Seconds Are All I’ll Give You   Chapter 7

    (1st POV)After leaving the city hall, I went to see my mother.I held her hand. “Mom, don’t be scared. See? I’m married now, and he’s someone you’ve always liked, ever since I was a kid.”She touched my face. She obviously knew what was really going on.I did not think that was a bad thing either. Some things just were not that simple.My husband, Elio Elder, also visited my mother often.“Mom, don’t worry. Just focus on getting better.”Knowing I had someone in my life, someone to share things with, lifted her mood a lot.The doctor had said she had only one year left. At least she would be happy for that year.Elio was good to me, too. So far, neither of us had dropped the ball on the arrangement.I looked at him gratefully. “Thanks, Elio.”He looked over at me. “No, I should be thanking you. You know how it is. My family’s been on my case nonstop at home.”After that, we both quietly let the conversation drop. For both of us, being married was the better option.Neithe

  • These Seconds Are All I’ll Give You   Chapter 6

    (3rd POV)Ethan had just gotten home.He had been pondering the whole way back, and he still could not understand how Agnes could be so heartless all of a sudden.It had only been ten seconds. It was not like he had never helped Ruth out before.What he did not get was that it was precisely because it had happened so many times before, and the last straw had been at a wedding, a huge occasion, with everyone watching.Agnes had been waiting to put on the ring. In that most sacred moment, he had stepped off the altar just to twist open a bottle of water for Ruth.Everyone was watching. Everyone was waiting. Agnes had been left standing there humiliated, at the wedding her own mother had given up so much for. How could it have come to that?But Ethan still could not wrap his head around it. He just figured she was throwing a fit.“It wasn’t like I did anything that terrible. I just stepped off the altar for ten seconds,” he muttered under his breath as he walked inside.When he w

  • These Seconds Are All I’ll Give You   Chapter 5

    I held up the signed marriage license copy in my hand.“What it looks like. I got married.”Ethan stared at me.“You’re kidding, right, Agnes? You can’t just pull something like this. What are you even doing?”I thought his brain was not working. It turned out his ears were broken, too.“I said I’m married. You’re not invited to the wedding.”He grabbed my hand. “You can only throw a fit for so long. Cut it out. Who’s the guy? Get divorced, and let’s get married.”He had never seen that coming. In his head, I would be exhausted, and then he would show up at just the right moment. Just like every time before, I would lean on him, and he would barely have to apologize to win me back.But that was not what happened. Not only did I ignore him, I even went to the city hall to marry a total stranger.He got angry just thinking about it. “What do you think marriage is, Agnes? You’re going to make yourself a divorcee. What’s everyone going to think of you?”I shot him a sideways gl

  • These Seconds Are All I’ll Give You   Chapter 4

    Ethan did not come after me. Perhaps he really did not care. After all, it was not hard to guess how much I matter to him. Or perhaps he still thought I was just throwing a tantrum. Whatever. It did not matter to me.I threw all my energy back into work and into spending time with my mother.I just did not expect work to start falling apart one thing after another.My supervisor, Chris Lance, tossed a bunch of files at me and said, “Stay back and get this done.”I had already been working overtime three days straight. Every time I went to the hospital late at night, my mother was already asleep. I did not dare wake her, so I just took one look and rushed back to the office to keep working.I hesitated before speaking up. “Chris, this isn’t even mine to begin with. Could you maybe—”He retorted furiously, “Other people are swamped. Can’t you even pitch in a little?”I suppressed my frustration and went back to work. I was so busy and exhausted that I was at the point of col

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