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Thirty Days Until I Leave My Alpha
Thirty Days Until I Leave My Alpha
Candice Rowan

Chapter 1

Candice Rowan
Ella's POV

Outside the fitting room, Vera Ashford, the mate of the late Alfie Grayson, chose the same ceremonial gown I'd been trying on.

She stood in front of the mirror and turned to Ryan with a smile. "How do I look?"

Ryan Blackwood, the Alpha of the Blackthorn pack, looked her over, his praise utterly sincere. "You look beautiful."

A moment later, the seamstress glanced through the gap in my fitting-room curtain and called out, "Are you coming out? That gown looks even better on you than it does on the lady outside!"

I shook my head and quietly closed the curtain. "No, thank you."

There was no point in having two identical gowns for the same ceremony. One was enough. After all, there could only be one Luna.

As I changed out of the gown, my phone rang. It was Ryan.

"Ella, have you had lunch yet?"

In the background, I could hear the seamstress complimenting Vera, followed by Vera's soft laughter. The sound made my chest tighten.

Before I could answer, Ryan continued, "I'm sorry, Ella. I probably won't be able to make it home for lunch today. Vera's feeling down because she's been thinking about her mate, and I need to stay with her."

I stood in the cramped fitting room, staring at the ceremonial gown I'd dreamed of wearing for seven years. "So because she's feeling down, you're accompanying her to pick out a gown for your bonding ceremony?"

Silence fell over the line.

After a long pause, Ryan asked quietly, "You found out?"

He drew a deep breath before continuing. "Ella, you know what happened back then better than anyone. I owe Vera and her family a debt I can't ignore. Her parents aren't in good health, and this is the only thing they've ever asked of me. I can't refuse them."

Every word sounded reasonable. He had an explanation for everything, as he always did. But not once did he seem to consider what any of it was doing to me.

"What about me?" I asked.

There was another brief silence. Then Ryan's voice softened. "Ella, you're my mate. The Moon Goddess herself knows that. That has never changed."

He paused before adding, "Once the bonding ceremony is over, I'll find the right opportunity to break the bond with Vera. Then I'll mate with you. You're the only she-wolf who will ever be Luna of the Blackthorn pack."

His voice grew gentler, as though he were painting a future he expected me to hold on to. "When the time comes, I'll take you to choose your own ceremony gown. We'll go to Moon Bay and watch the ocean together. I'll make up for every anniversary I've missed, one by one."

I tightened my grip on the phone until my knuckles turned white. "If you love me that much, Ryan, why can't you just call off the ceremony?"

Silence. This time, it lasted so long that I almost thought he'd hung up.

When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse. "I owe Vera's family a debt I have to repay.

I closed my eyes.

"But I promise you this. Once that debt is paid, I'll spend the rest of my life loving only you. I swear I won't make you wait much longer."

"Is that so?" The words came out colder than I'd intended.

Ryan seemed to hear the change in my voice. Exhaustion seeped into his words, but he still kept his tone gentle. "Of course. Ella, you're the only she-wolf I've ever wanted to mate. Will you wait for me?"

I didn't answer.

For seven years, I'd waited, but not anymore. I simply hung up.

My chest tightened until I could barely breathe.

There were countless ways Ryan could have repaid his debt. Yet somehow, he'd chosen the one that humiliated me the most. It was his debt to repay, but I was the one paying the price.

Through our mate bond, I could still feel his emotions, even from a distance. Once, that connection had been the thing I cherished most. Knowing I could reach him no matter how far apart we were had made me feel like I would never truly be alone.

Now, I wanted nothing more than to sever it.

He could feel my anger and despair just as clearly as I could feel his. And yet, even knowing exactly how much he was hurting me, he still didn't turn back.

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  • Thirty Days Until I Leave My Alpha   Chapter 8

    Ella's POV I never expected to run into Ryan. Before coming back, I'd considered the possibility that our paths might cross again, but I hadn't expected it to happen so soon. He stood at the bottom of the steps, looking as though he'd rehearsed what he wanted to say but still wasn't sure how to begin. Finally, he looked up at me and said, "Ella, I know what Vera did. I banished her from the pack. And about the pup… I'm sorry. I failed you." His voice grew heavier as he continued. "I shouldn't have agreed to let Vera become my mate just because I owed Alfie my life. I shouldn't have taken her to choose a gown for the mating ceremony, and I never should have used your father's photograph to force you into making that public statement."Sorrow flickered across his eyes as he looked at me. "I'm sorry, Ella. Can you forgive me?"I met his gaze and felt nothing but calm. None of it mattered to me anymore. The only thing that still hurt was losing my pup. As for Ryan, I hadn't thought

  • Thirty Days Until I Leave My Alpha   Chapter 7

    Ella's POV Two years later, I returned to the Blackthorn pack with my pup, Erik Grimshaw. The little one clung to my shoulder, looking around curiously at the unfamiliar surroundings before asking in his sweet, childish voice, "Mommy, is this your home?"I smiled softly. "It used to be." Mom was waiting by the door. The moment she saw me, her eyes filled with tears, and she rushed forward to pull me into her arms. Her voice trembled as she held me close. "Ella, have you been doing okay?" she asked."I'm doing great, Mom." Two years in the Frostlands had stripped away every trace of the softness I'd once carried. I was no longer the Ella who depended on Ryan for everything or waited for him to decide what was best for me. I'd learned how to stand on my own. I'd learned how to survive without relying on anyone else. And more importantly, I'd been lucky enough to meet Odin Grimshaw, the strongest Alpha in the Northstar pack—and my mate. Erik was still clinging to my should

  • Thirty Days Until I Leave My Alpha   Chapter 6

    Third-Person POV Ryan wanted to go after Ella, but as the pack's Alpha, he couldn't simply abandon his responsibilities. During the day, he buried himself in pack affairs, using the endless work to keep his mind off her. But every night, he returned to an empty home, lying awake in bed and wondering how Ella was doing in the Frostlands and whether she was safe. Throughout those days, Vera kept coming to see him. With red-rimmed eyes, she'd bring him stew she'd made herself and say, "Ryan, please eat something. I'm hurting over what happened to Ella, too."Ryan didn't want to see her. He wouldn't even open the door. He simply told her to leave the stew outside and go. A few days later, Ryan went around to the back of the house to get some fresh air when he heard two hushed voices coming from the shadows near the wall. One belonged to Vera. The other belonged to Ginger Whiteclaw, a she-wolf from the pack who was close to her. "How long are you going to keep this act up?" Ginge

  • Thirty Days Until I Leave My Alpha   Chapter 5

    Third-Person POV Ryan could hardly believe what he was hearing. Samuel's expression darkened. "That accident caused Ella to lose her pup. Didn't you smell it?"Ryan opened his mouth, but no words came out. The truth hit him all at once. That day, Vera had come to him in tears, confessing that she'd accidentally hit Ella with her car. At the time, there had been only one thought in Ryan's mind—he couldn't let Vera be banished from the pack.So he'd pressured Ella into forgiving her, never once stopping to think about what Ella had actually lost. He hadn't even noticed that the scent of their pup had already vanished from her.He'd been so focused on protecting Vera that he hadn't realized Ella had lost their pup.Ryan rushed home, but when he stepped inside, he found the house spotless, almost as if no one had ever lived there. All of Ella's belongings were gone. He stood there for a moment, staring at the empty rooms before finally sitting down alone. Memories of the past s

  • Thirty Days Until I Leave My Alpha   Chapter 4

    Ella's POV When I got to my mom's house, I stayed in bed for the rest of the day, too exhausted to do anything else. The next morning, a sharp cramp suddenly tore through my abdomen. The pain was so intense that I could barely stand, so Mom insisted on taking me to the healing center.On the way there, she asked again, "Ella, are you really sure you want to go to the Northstar pack? Those wolves are fierce and ruthless. No she-wolf willingly goes there, and there's no guarantee they'll even accept you."I was about to answer when our car was suddenly slammed from behind. The crash was deafening, and my body was thrown forward. My stomach struck the seat in front of me, and a searing pain tore through my abdomen. Within seconds, I felt warmth running down my legs. When I looked down, my blood ran cold. I clutched my stomach, my face draining of color as the pain became unbearable. Before I could even catch my breath, the driver's door of the Bentley behind us flew open. Ve

  • Thirty Days Until I Leave My Alpha   Chapter 3

    Ella's POV "Ella Whitmore, Alpha Ryan has already agreed to take our daughter as his mate. She's going to be this pack's Luna, yet you're still hanging onto him. Do you really want to be the she-wolf who comes between a mated couple?"I stood there, my trembling fingers digging into my palms. I wanted to tell her that this was my home, that I'd been with Ryan for seven years, and that he'd nearly given his life to save mine. I wasn't some shameless she-wolf trying to destroy another couple's relationship. But before I could get a word out, Vera's mother, Stella Baker, raised her hand and swung at me. Just before her palm could strike my face, Ryan stepped in front of me and caught her wrist in a crushing grip. His expression darkened as he stared her down. "Stella, are you really going to hit her right in front of me? Fighting among pack members is strictly forbidden in the Blackthorn pack. Are you trying to get yourself banished?"Stella opened her mouth, clearly unwilling

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