Mag-log inMy brother, Adrian Lupton, always says I'm the most boring person in the family. That's because every time he plays a prank on me, I always end up in tears. When he sticks chewing gum in my hair, I cry. When he pulls my chair away just as I'm about to sit down, I fall and cry, too. It leaves me with a fractured tailbone, and I spend two months lying face down in bed. But my parents always brush it off. They say he is just being playful and that I can't take a joke. And as his older sister, I'm supposed to be more understanding. Eventually, I stop crying. Even when Adrian smiles and offers me some food, I smile back. I have no idea that he has mixed peanut butter into it—the one thing I'm severely allergic to. After eating it, I return to my room. The moment I close the door, it feels as though someone is squeezing my throat shut. I can't breathe. Red hives spread across my body as I collapse onto the floor. My phone is lit up beside me. The last thing on the screen is my search: "How to stop throat swelling from peanut allergy". My consciousness slowly fades. In the next room, Adrian laughs while playing video games. Meanwhile, my parents are watching TV in the living room. No one in the house notices what is happening behind my closed door. No one realizes that I'm dying. If there is another life, I don't want to be the target of anyone's cruel pranks ever again. I just want to be loved for who I am, even if it's only once.
view moreOur family didn't fall apart that day. It started the day Mom first told me, "He's younger than you. Just give in to him."Our family had been slowly crumbling for 16 years. By the time she finally realized what had happened, everything was already beyond repair.One late night, Mom sat at my desk with the light on. On the desk was a photo of me when I was three. My hair was tied into two little pigtails, and I was smiling happily at the camera.Mom reached out and touched my face in the photo. Then she picked up her phone and sent another message to my account. She had been doing this every day since I died, never once stopping."Jenny, I've cleaned up your room. When are you coming home?"Jenny, I saw a girl on the street today who looked just like you. I followed her for three blocks, but then I realized it wasn't you."Jenny, I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"But her messages went unanswered. No one would ever reply.I floated behind her, watching her back.Two-thirds of her
Mom went to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist diagnosed her with severe depression and recommended that she be admitted for treatment, but Mom refused. Instead, she went home and spent her days in my room, sorting through my belongings, reading my diary, and crying. Late one night, she walked into the kitchen and picked up a knife. I watched from beside her. Her eyes were empty and unfocused, like she was lost in a world of her own. She pressed the cold blade against her wrist and muttered, "Jenny... I'm coming to be with you." Just as she was about to do it, her phone rang. It was Grandma. Mom didn't answer. The phone kept ringing, and on the eighth ring, she finally put the knife down and picked up the phone. "Gloria, what are you doing?" Grandma's voice sounded frail and weary. "Nothing," Mom replied. Her voice was hoarse. "I dreamed about Jenny," Grandma said. "She asked me to tell you to stay strong. She said she's doing fine over there, so you don't need to
Things blew up online, too.Someone posted what happened on a forum, and the post went viral overnight.The comment section was filled with people condemning Mom."Someone like her doesn't deserve to be a mother.""People who favor sons over daughters should rot in hell.""Her daughter is dead, and now she regrets it? What good does that do?""The brother is a murderer, and the parents are his accomplices."People tracked down Mom's workplace and called to harass her. Others found out where Adrian went to school and demanded that he be expelled. Mom was suspended from work, and Adrian was told to stay home for the time being.She shut herself away in the house, refusing to go out, answer calls, or see anyone. With the curtains drawn and the lights off, the whole house felt like a tomb.Meanwhile, my grave sat on that hillside, being washed over by the rain.Mom moved back into our house alone.She cleaned my room until it was spotless. She changed the sheets, wiped down my d
Mom replied, her expression blank, "Your sister is dead. She died last night. Her peanut allergy caused her to stop breathing. They couldn't save her."Adrian stood frozen, unable to process what he had just heard."No... that's impossible. It's just an allergy... I've done it before, and she was always fine...""Before?" Mom's eyes widened in shock. "You've done it before?"Realizing what he had just revealed, Adrian took a step back."I... I only did it a few times... I didn't think it was that serious..." he stammered.Mom stood up and walked toward him. "You've done this before? How many times?""Two… or three times... I don't remember..." Adrian's voice trailed off.Mom's face tightened. "Did she ever tell you that she felt sick?""She did... but she always got better after a while... I thought this time would be the same..." Adrian swallowed hard.Mom raised her hand and slapped him hard across the face.…It rained on the day of my funeral, just as the weather foreca


















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