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This Time, I Won’t Beg for His Mark
This Time, I Won’t Beg for His Mark
작가: Hyacinth

Chapter 1

작가: Hyacinth
Blackwood Pack Infirmary.

The sharp pain in my arm pulled me back from the memory of my death.

The healer wrapped the final layer of bandage around my wound and gently reminded me, “Keep it dry for the next few days. The blade was coated with silver, so your wolf will heal more slowly than usual.”

Adrian Blackwood sat in the chair beside the healer’s desk and gave a contemptuous laugh.

“It’s barely a cut, Serena. Since when did you become so delicate?”

I said nothing.

The other healers exchanged uneasy glances.

They had all witnessed the attack.

The rogue had been released from Council confinement two years earlier. He was enormous, with a scarred face and the heavy build of a wolf accustomed to violence.

The blade he swung at me was nearly a foot long. It tore through the flesh of my arm, leaving a wound that required more than twenty stitches.

And its original target had been Adrian’s heart.

My silence angered him.

His dark eyes turned cold, and the pressure of his Alpha blood settled over the room.

“Don’t be dramatic, Serena. I already said that because you saved my life, you can ask for anything you want. What more do you expect? Why are you sitting there looking at me as if I’ve wronged you?”

I looked at the man who had grown up beside me.

I did not know when Adrian had stopped speaking to me as the woman he loved and begun treating me with the arrogance an Alpha reserved for a disobedient subordinate.

All his tenderness now belonged to Ivy Bell.

The orphan he had rescued during the great flood eight years ago.

My gaze fell on the pink rabbit hair tie around Adrian’s wrist.

It belonged to her.

He glanced at the hair tie, and panic flickered briefly through his eyes before he forced it away.

I suppressed the familiar ache in my chest and looked up at him with a faint smile.

“Anything?”

Adrian froze.

His jaw tightened, but he still nodded with the resignation of a man preparing to make a sacrifice.

“Yes.”

One of the healers had attended the Alpha Academy with him. He immediately laughed.

“Then you’d better surrender, Alpha. Serena is finally going to make you complete the marking ceremony.”

The others joined in.

“Eight years together is long enough. It’s time you officially made her your Luna.”

“I already have my formal robes ready. Which full moon are we celebrating?”

Their laughter filled the infirmary.

Every one of them was certain I would ask Adrian to mark me.

After all, the entire Blackwood Pack knew how much I loved him.

Eight years ago, Adrian had privately chosen me as his mate. He promised that once he inherited the Alpha title, he would mark me before the pack and publicly name me his Luna.

But the ceremony had been postponed again and again because of Ivy.

Now I had taken a blade meant for his heart.

No one doubted that I would use the life debt he owed me to claim the ceremony I had wanted for so long.

Adrian believed it too.

He was already bracing himself to agree.

Listening to their teasing, I opened my mouth to ask Adrian to release me from his claim.

Before I could speak, a young guard burst into the infirmary.

“Alpha, something’s wrong. Ivy is threatening to kill herself!”

Again.

If I remembered correctly, this was Ivy’s one hundred and eighth suicide threat.

Exactly as it had happened in my previous life.

The guard had barely finished speaking before Adrian rushed out.

By the time we reached the roof of the pack house, Ivy was standing beyond the railing.

Her eyes were swollen and red, and her delicate face had turned deathly pale.

She wore one of Adrian’s white shirts. The hem barely covered her thighs, leaving her slender legs exposed to the cold wind.

Then I remembered that Ivy had been there during the attack.

While I threw myself in front of the blade, Adrian had pulled her tightly into his arms and shielded her with his body.

She had emerged from Adrian’s private suite afterward wearing this same white shirt—the one I had given him for his birthday.

“Don’t come any closer!” Ivy cried.

Adrian stopped immediately.

The coldness he had shown me in the infirmary vanished. His voice became low and gentle, filled with concern.

“Ivy, come back over the railing. Then I’ll explain everything.”

“Serena took that blade for you, and you promised her anything she wanted.” Ivy’s tears spilled down her cheeks. “She loves you so much. She’s going to ask for the marking ceremony, and you’re going to agree, aren’t you?”

No one answered her.

No one needed to.

Every wolf on that roof believed the same thing.

“I’m sorry, Adrian.” Ivy’s shoulders trembled. “But if you mark her, I’ll lose you for the rest of my life. I would rather die.”

She moved one foot closer to the edge.

“Stop!”

The force of Adrian’s Alpha command rolled across the rooftop, but his deep voice was filled with fear for her.

“Come down first. Whatever you’re afraid of, I’ll explain.”

Ivy stared at him through her tears.

“You won’t abandon me?”

“I won’t.”

His answer came without hesitation.

Adrian cared about everything that concerned Ivy.

She liked pink, so the rose-quartz bracelet he had originally commissioned for my birthday became her reward for passing her final Academy examinations.

She was afraid of thunder, so no matter how late it was, one frightened message from her would make Adrian leave my side and rush to her room.

Once, he accompanied me to my grandfather’s funeral in another territory.

That night, a violent storm closed the mountain pass. When Ivy called him crying and he realized he could not return to her, Adrian turned on me in fury.

“Did he have to die today of all days?”

I had stared at him, unable to believe the man I loved could say something so cruel.

When Adrian first confessed his feelings to me, he promised that I would always be the one person he chose above everyone else.

But when twenty-six-year-old Adrian met eighteen-year-old Ivy, all that unconditional devotion became hers.

He remembered every tear she shed.

He answered every frightened call.

He treated her smallest pain as an emergency while my deepest wounds became proof that I was being dramatic.

In my previous life, jealousy had blinded me.

I had used the life debt he owed me to force him into the marking ceremony, believing that once I became his Luna, I could finally win him back.

Instead, that choice destroyed me.

This time, I was no longer jealous.

I was no longer waiting for Adrian to remember that he had once loved me.

As I watched him comfort Ivy while the wound I had taken for him bled through its bandages, only one thought remained.

I did not want him anymore.
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  • This Time, I Won’t Beg for His Mark   Chapter 10

    One year after Rowan's death, my life had become ordinary. At the archive, I organized records of wolves who had left old packs to begin again. I understood them better than they knew.Helena came for dinner twice a month. My yellow dishes stayed in the cabinet, and I killed three balcony plants before learning what survived winter.Some nights I still dreamed of Rowan’s pulse and woke with my hand over my stomach. Grief remained, but it no longer made every decision for me.Blackwood Pack changed too. After Adrian surrendered control of the emergency blood reserve, the elders made the change permanent.Healers no longer needed the Alpha’s permission to release compatible blood in an emergency. The rule was not named after Rowan. He was my child, not a warning the pack could display after learning too late.Adrian remained a capable Alpha. Blackwood prospered under his command, but he had learned that being a good Alpha did not make him a good mate.He left the suite beside the empty

  • This Time, I Won’t Beg for His Mark   Chapter 9

    Ivy’s hearing took place six months after the attack. I returned to Blackwood territory for the first time since Rowan’s burial.Helena met me outside the Council hall. "You don't have to go in," she said. "Your written statement is enough.""I want to hear the decision myself." She nodded and walked beside me.The wolves who had once lowered their heads because I was Adrian's future Luna now watched me with a mixture of guilt and curiosity. I ignored them.Ivy sat before the elders with two guards behind her.When she saw me, tears immediately filled her eyes. "Serena, I didn't mean for the pup to die."The head elder struck the end of his staff against the floor. "You will speak only when questioned." Ivy lowered her head.The evidence was complete: the stolen messages, invitations, wolfsbane, and videos showing the assault and the final kick after I began bleeding.The two wolves who restrained me were confined and expelled. The others lost their positions and any right to future pa

  • This Time, I Won’t Beg for His Mark   Chapter 8

    I did not return to Blackwood Pack. After leaving the infirmary, I moved into a small house in neutral territory overlooking pine-covered hills. Nothing inside had been selected by Adrian. I chose yellow dishes and arranged the furniture for myself.The formal release of his claim remained locked in the bottom drawer of my desk. The bond ring was gone. I had thrown it from the rooftop, and I never asked anyone to search for it.My body healed slowly. My arm closed after its second stitching, and the bruises faded. Some mornings I woke with my hand over my stomach and remembered only when Rowan’s pulse did not answer.Three days after I left the infirmary, Helena brought a dark wooden box containing Rowan’s nameplate. A faint stain remained where Adrian’s blood had touched it."Adrian said you should decide what happens to it," Helena said.Rowan had never seen the nursery or the full moon, but he had existed. For months, his pulse had beaten beneath my heart."I want it buried with him

  • This Time, I Won’t Beg for His Mark   Chapter 7

    The release ceremony took place two weeks later in a private Pack Council chamber. I could walk short distances, though my arm remained bandaged and my wolf was still weak.Helena accompanied me to the Council hall. When we reached the chamber, I stopped. "I want to go in alone." Concern crossed her face, but she did not argue. "I'll be right outside." I nodded and entered.Adrian waited in the formal black coat of Blackwood’s Alpha. His control faltered only when he saw the empty curve of my abdomen.The claim had weakened since the miscarriage, leaving only brief, painful pulses beneath my ribs.An elderly woman stood between us. She had overseen the mate claims of Blackwood Pack for more than forty years. "The documents have already been signed," she said. "Today's ceremony will release Adrian Blackwood's claim on Serena Vale."The elder warned that severance would be painful and permanently break the connection between our wolves. We both consented."Yes," I said. Adrian answered a

  • This Time, I Won’t Beg for His Mark   Chapter 6

    I woke again the following morning with Helena asleep in the chair beside me. My entire body ached. The healers had stitched my arm again where the wound had torn open. Thick bandages covered it from my wrist to my elbow.A dull cramp remained deep in my abdomen. I placed my left hand over the place where Rowan's wolf pulse used to beat. Nothing answered. The grief was not sharp at first. It was too large to feel like pain. It was an emptiness that seemed to fill the entire room.Helena woke when I moved. "Serena?" She stood quickly and reached for the cup beside my bed. "Do you need water? Should I call the healer?""Rowan," I whispered. Her hand stopped. Her face crumpled. "I'm sorry."I closed my eyes. Adrian had chosen the name without asking me. At first, I had resented hearing him use it. It was one more part of my future that he had decided without believing I deserved a choice. Yet at some point, the pup inside me had become Rowan. When I felt his faint wolf pulse beneath my ha

  • This Time, I Won’t Beg for His Mark   Chapter 5

    Adrian froze: “The report said Rowan still had a pulse.”“He did when they tell you.”“Then release the plasma now.”“It’s too late.” Helena’s voice broke. “Serena miscarried. Rowan is dead.”"No," he said.Helena released his shirt. Adrian looked down at the dark wooden nameplate in his palm. [ROWAN BLACKWOOD] His fingers closed around it."The healer said Rowan still had a pulse.""He did." Helena's voice broke. "When the authorization form was brought to you, he was still alive. You tore it apart."Each word struck harder than the slap she had given him. "If you had signed it when they asked, the Alpha plasma might have stabilized him. But you refused. By the time the infirmary received permission to release the emergency reserve, Rowan's pulse was already gone."Adrian turned toward the operating-room doors. "Serena is still alive.""For now."“My blood is compatible. Take whatever Serena still needs.” He rolled up his sleeve as the infirmary’s chief healer stepped into his path."

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