3

TATIANA

   Beep. Beep. Beep.

A steady beeping. The nauseous scent of disinfectant all around.

Blood. Bleach. Sterile coldness.

Adrian’s scent cocooned me, citrus and sandalwood, but there was a spice in it too. Maybe it was just the hospital.

There were sounds of hushed voices.

“You better heal her if you want to live.” The voice was hard. Cold. Russian accent. It wasn’t my brother’s voice. But who?

“Sir, we’ll do our best.”

“You will do everything,” he roared. “Not your best.”

More commotion. The sounds of a struggle and shouting. More voices.

Was Adrian here? Instantly images of his dead eyes flooded my brain. Blood trickled down the corner of the mouth I used to kiss. The taste of copper flooded my mouth.

Clammy, cold skin under my fingertips. The cold kiss of death.

“Breathe.” A scream. Mine. Maybe? I wasn’t sure. My mouth on Adrian’s.

One. Two. Three. Air into his lungs. One. Two. Three.

An explosion. Loud. The earth shook.

Everything was fuzzy. My chest squeezed, a sob choking my throat. Yet, nothing came out.

But I heard the screams piercing my brain. I heard the cries. I tasted the blood.

I felt the loss.

No, Adrian wasn’t here. He was gone. I knew it deep down in my soul. In my heart. And it fucking hurt like hell. It felt like a bullet lodged itself in my lungs and refused to ease up. It hurt to breathe. An ache swelling inside of me, until it drowned me.

“I’ll find you again,” I murmured.

Or maybe my brain whispered the words. I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t feel my mouth move. Every single inch of me was numb.

“She’s awake.” The same deep voice shouted. A pair of hands gripped my shoulders. “Tatiana, look at me.” I followed the voice but my eyes couldn’t focus. My head ached. Even my brain hurt. “Look at me, moya luna.”

Moya luna. I’d heard that before. The words were buried deep in the fog. Why can’t I get my brain to work?

I turned my head in the direction of the voice. There was nobody there. I blinked, then blinked again. The light was too bright. I couldn’t see anyone.

“A bad dream,” I said as a sob erupted from my lips. I couldn’t hear it, nor the words. But I felt them. In the marrow of my bones, right along with a fear that whispered of nightmares.

I licked my lips and tasted blood.

Eyes without any light in them stared at me. My husband’s eyes. He’s gone, the nightmare whispered. It sent a soul-shattering ache through every inch of me. I couldn’t handle it. I needed more numbness.

More words shouted. I couldn’t hear nor understand them. I was too far inside my head where despair consumed me. Adrian’s dead eyes. Blood covering the lips that used to kiss me.

The lips that used to say kind words to me. The same lips that used to put bullies in their place. The same lips that called me ‘pipsqueak’ when I was a little girl.

“Adrian!” I screamed, my heart shattering, a nightmare consuming me.

My body started to shake. My teeth chattered. My soul split. The sound of glass breaking and metal clanking against the floor. Hands on me.

Then a prick in my flesh and the world ceased to exist again.