Chapter 4

At four in the morning, the project team's car pulled up outside my building.

When I dragged my suitcase downstairs, it was still dark.

My parents were both away on business. When they found out last night that I was leaving early, they'd called more than a dozen times.

Before I could even get into the car, Mom video-called me again. "Are you sure you don't want us to come back?"

"It's too late for that."

By the time they landed, I'd already be at sea.

Dad frowned. "It's your decision. If you don't want to go, you can still come home. Whether it's for work or a trip, you should never feel pressured to do something just for someone else's sake."

My eyes suddenly stung.

Over the past few days, everyone had insisted they'd lied to me for my own good.

But the people who truly loved me had never made decisions for me. They only told me not to force myself into anything.

I nodded. "I really do want to go now."

My mom finally smiled. "Then go. And send us lots of pictures."

I nodded, told them not to worry, and ended the call.

The car slowly made its way out of London.

But my phone wouldn't stop buzzing. It was our group chat, the one the four of us had used for years.

After Claire's welcome party the night before, they had gone back to Arthur's place and stayed up drinking until dawn.

At three in the morning, Noah was still posting pictures in the group chat. The photos showed the living room piled with gifts they hadn't finished unwrapping the night before.

Claire sat in the middle of the rug, hugging a giant stuffed animal. All four of them raised their glasses in celebration.

Claire posted: "Thank you for always being there for me. Every day since I came back feels like a dream."

The spot in the middle of those pictures had always been mine. Now it was hers.

Then the group chat's name suddenly changed. After six years as "The Four Lunatics' World Tour", it was now "Claire and Her Three Knights".

Claire sent a smiley face. "Actually, this name fits perfectly."

Arthur sent a thumbs-up.

So before I'd even left, they were already getting used to life without me.

I used to believe with all my heart that the four of us would never drift apart.

But I hadn't even really left yet, and my place had already been taken.

It hurt. After more than ten years together, we didn't even get a proper goodbye.

But it didn't matter anymore. My own life was just beginning.

I opened the group settings and left the chat.

Then I opened my contacts.

Noah, deleted. Theo, deleted.

That left Arthur. I hesitated. I'd always kept his chat pinned to the top.

It was full of our memories. Back then, we'd talked about our dreams, complained about our friends, and shared all the little joys of everyday life.

Then came one party after another.

Back then, it felt like we'd never run out of things to say.

After Claire came back, our chats changed completely.

Most of the time, I was the one reaching out. Sometimes I'd send seven or eight messages, and Arthur would reply with only "Mm."

Just as my finger hovered over Delete, a new message popped up.

Arthur wrote, "Call me when you're up."

Then another message appeared. "Stop making a big deal out of last night. I'll take you shopping for sailing gear this afternoon."

I looked at that last line and suddenly laughed.

He was still convinced that all he had to do was offer to spend time with me, and I'd be thrilled, just as I'd been for the past five years.

But that wasn't going to happen anymore. I was done chasing their approval.

The car was already on the highway to the port. I didn't reply. I simply hit Delete.

Two hours later, we arrived at the port. The vessel was already lit up.

The staff checked my documents and handed me a work phone.

"For the next two months, you'll mostly use the project's communication system.

"Personal internet access at sea isn't very reliable, so if there's anyone important you need to reach, you'd better let them know now."

After I texted my parents, I turned off my own phone and tucked it into the very bottom of my suitcase.

As I zipped it up, my fingers brushed something cold in my pocket. It was the key to Arthur's place.

When I was 16, he'd tossed me that spare key. "Stop ringing the doorbell. If you need something, just let yourself in."

I was secretly happy about it for days.

Of all the girls who knew Arthur, I was the only one who could walk into his house without knocking.

But yesterday, standing in his house, I'd felt like the one who didn't belong.

I asked the staff for an envelope, put the key inside, wrote Arthur's address on it, and asked them to mail it for me.

Soon the boarding announcement came on, and I wheeled my suitcase forward.

At six in the morning, the ship slowly left the port, and the English coastline gradually faded from view.

They used three fake boat tickets to trick me onto this ship.

What they didn't know was that once I decided to leave, I had no intention of returning to my old place in their lives.