Three Years of Pretend

In three days, I'd be free of the Moonlight Pack forever.

Right as I was thinking it, strong arms wrapped around me from behind, pulling me into a familiar scent of cedar.

Owen Mercer nuzzled against my neck, his breath warm against my ear. "What are you thinking about so hard?"

My wolf, who'd been curled up deep in the back of my mind, lifted her head without my permission. Three years later, and she still craved him just as much as she always had.

I closed my eyes and swallowed the ache in my chest. "Nothing important. Just the border trade negotiations."

He frowned and turned me to face him, smoothing a thumb over the crease between my brows.

"If it's not working out, drop it. Your health matters more. Let the Beta handle it if it's too much."

Then he tipped my chin up and held my gaze, his eyes unbearably gentle.

"What's wrong? Have you been overdoing it lately? Maybe we should take some time off."

I shook my head. He sighed and pulled me into a hug. "Jeremy invited me to his pack tomorrow for a get together. Madison's pregnant."

I froze. "She's pregnant?"

I murmured the words, my hand drifting to my own stomach without thinking. Owen and I had been trying for six months, with nothing to show for it.

I looked up, disappointed, and caught something guarded in his eyes.

His expression stiffened for a second before he pulled me back into his arms.

"We'll have one too. Eventually."

Something in my chest cracked.

Before I could say anything, he added, "You should skip the party tomorrow night, though. I don't want you getting upset seeing Jeremy and Madison together."

"But I got an invitation too."

As Luna of the Moonlight Pack, I had every right to attend gatherings with other packs.

Not to mention, that pack was where I was born and raised.

"I know." Owen stroked my hair gently. "I'll send a gift on your behalf. You've never wanted to see them anyway, right?"

When I left the Northern Pack three years ago, everyone said it was because I was petty. They said that I couldn't stand to watch my sister, Madison Sinclair, be happy.

Back then, Owen had held me and said, "If that place only brings you pain, you don't ever have to go back. This is your home now."

So for three whole years, I never went back once.

I only understood now. He wasn't protecting me from the pain at all.

He just wanted me as far from Madison as possible, ideally out of her sight forever.

He kept holding me gently, pressing soft kisses down from my eyes.

"Valentine's Day is coming up. I already got your gift!" He led me back to our room, where a long, flat, orange gift box sat on the bed.

He opened it himself and pulled out a brightly colored silk scarf.

"What do you think? Do you like it?"

I stared at the scarf, frozen. My chest tightened with an old familiar ache.

Three days earlier, Madison had posted about a limited edition bag on social media.

She'd even posted a shopping list for it. That exact scarf was on the list, listed as an add-on that came bundled with the bag.

So this gift he'd supposedly put so much thought into was just something someone else didn't want.

I glanced at my closet full of soft, muted colors.

Three years together, and he still somehow didn't know I'd never liked bright colors like this.

"Why aren't you saying anything?"

Owen wrapped the scarf around my neck and stepped back to admire it.

"It looks great on you."

His eyes lingered on my face for a long moment. For a second, I thought I saw something like genuine infatuation in them.

But I couldn't bring myself to believe it anymore.

"Thanks." I managed a small smile. "I got you something too. I'll give it to you on Valentine's Day."

Owen's eyes lit up. He laughed softly, scooping me into his arms. "Look at you, being all mysterious."

I didn't resist, even though my chest ached too much to breathe properly.

I tossed and turned that night, unable to sleep, and finally curled up on the couch instead. Just before dawn, I crept back to the bedroom. My hands and feet were ice cold. Even so, I wanted one more look at him, one more moment by his side.

He was asleep, but his hand reached out of habit for the empty space beside him. When he couldn't find me, his brow furrowed.

In his sleep, he murmured softly, "Bella..."

I stood by the bed and felt the tears spill over without warning.

I used to think that meant he loved me.

Now, I honestly couldn't tell anymore.

Right then, his phone lit up on the nightstand.

[Alpha, the long-acting contraceptive shot you've been taking is about to expire. Would you like to schedule another appointment?]

[Yeah, I'll continue it.]

Just a few short words. I read them over and over.

It struck me as almost funny. I'd been the only one hoping for a pup this whole time.

I came back to myself and deleted every fertility supplement I'd bookmarked on my phone.

After I climbed back into bed, Owen seemed to sense something was wrong. He frowned in his sleep and pulled me closer.

"Don't cry..." he mumbled, still half asleep. "Bella, don't cry."

I lay stiff against his chest.

I didn't close my eyes again, even after the sun came up.