Luke had his head buried in the crook of my neck, and for a second I forgot all the pieces I had been trying to put together. I had been trying to think about just why I was brought back here, to see him from this perspective, and this...it just made me forget.
"My dad....my dad." He just kept saying into my neck, his breath fanning my skin. I slowly put my arms around him as he pulled himself closer to me. I understood just how much he needed someone right now. To be there for him. Strangely, I found myself willing."I am sorry, Luke." I managed to say as I patted his back. "I am so sorry."Something in me told me I wasn't just apologizing for this one thing, but I kicked the notion away.He released me slowly, and when he looked at me, his eyes were slightly swollen from crying so much. I didn't even know this was how he looked when he was less than calm and collected. I didn't know this was how he looked when he was devastated."I want to go home..." He said to me, his voice breaking. Home...I knew the McGregor mansion. I just wasn't sure how I didn't know that his father was my favorite science professor and the main reason behind my choice of college. I only knew that Mr. McGregor even refused a pay and was teaching and researching as a hobby. Maybe they got rid of everything after his death."I will take you home." I said in a whisper, even though I wasn't sure why.I managed to get him out of the hospital and hailed a cab. I helped him get in, before I got in too and told the driver the address.Luke seemed weak with the way he was sitting and he wasn't able to cry anymore. It's like how you cry so much till you can't just muster anymore tears."Do you..perhaps want to rest your head for a while?"He looked at me, then forced a small smile."Do we...know each other?" His voice was polite."I am a friend." I said simply, then tapped my shoulder. "You can rest your head till you get home. You have been through a lot today.""Thank you." He said, then gently rested his head on my shoulder, his hair caressing the tops of my neck.Before I came back here, I would never have imagined going out of my way to be kind to him, but maybe seeing him at his very lowest, with his guard down, I guess I wasn't so stone hearted.The cab stopped at our destination and I paid before helping a half asleep Luke out of the car. Somewhere during the drive, he had found comfort in my shoulder, and had fallen asleep."We are here."He nodded, examining the house. "I don't want to stay here.""What?" I asked. "Why?""There are so many memories here that I would rather not see today." He sighed and started to walk away."Then where do you want to go?""I don't know, anywhere." He said simply. I watched him walk slowly, a little absent mindedly away, before I ran up to him."Maybe you should come with me till you are better. Since you don't want to stay home, you can stay at my place till you are better."Hell, Karla. What are you doing? There was an internal conflict inside me, but I tried my best to be firm. He needed help. I would give it to him. I was slowly starting to believe that he was my purpose, and I wouldn't push him away like that."I don't have anything to offer you." He said, then pointed at the mansion. "That's all my parents'. Oh. My father died."His eyes were glassy with the reflection of the tears that stood in his eyes and I walked to him and held his hand reassuringly."I promise, there's nothing I'll ask for."We got into another cab to my house, and this time he didn't need an invite before he lay on my shoulder. But he didn't sleep. It was like seeing the house had caused him to remember, and he had lost all sorts of calm or relaxation.I tucked him into my bed at home, and sat on the small dressing stool that I had brought to the bedside. He was asleep, and was running a temperature. I got one of my pink towels and soaked it in water, before dabbing it over his body. I then soaked it again, then left it on his forehead.I watched him as he slept, his sleep a little disturbed. Sometimes his breath would accelerate and become forced and ragged, other times they would even out. I didn't even realize when I fell asleep myself, my head on the bed, supported by my right hand.The first ray of sunlight filtered into my eyes, and I woke only to turn to the other side. My bones felt so stiff and I felt sore all over."Good morning." I stopped yawning, then sat up, sleep leaving my eyes."Luke?"His eyes were wide, and his brows slightly raised, with a small smile on his lips as he looked at me. It was a fascinated kind of look. I wondered if he was just fascinated at how foolishly trusting I could be."Yes, me." He said. He was examining my expressions, and I cleared my throat as I straightened. "I think I have imposed on you too much. You didn't even sleep on your own bed.""No. It's fine. How are you?""I am okay," He said, then slowly removed the covers. "I think I'll just go home now.""You said you didn't want to be there last night. Are you sure it's okay now?"He nodded. "I am sure I can handle it now."I stood up and yawned a little. He came to me and slowly removed strands of my hair from my face, causing me to immediately stop breathing. The fact that he was so close was enough for me to."Thanks for last night." He said then moved away. "Your mum...she collapsed yesterday at the hospital."He nodded, like I was telling him the date. "She will be fine.""Won't you see her?"He shook his head. "It is just for show anyway." "Show?"He smiled and waved it away. "Can you tell me your name?""Karla." I snickered to myself thinking about when we were first introduced to each other."Karla." He said after me. "It's really nice to meet you, Karla."I stood in front of the spot where Luke's grave had once been, this time instead of the knitted brows and expressionless coldness, I had a small smile playing on my lips, thinking of how far I have come. As a person. As a wife.I smiled again, raising my head to the small tapping sound of a walking stick."Seeing how you are looking at that blank space and smiling like that, I bet it had been well for you." The man I now know to be Mr. McGregor said, his smile knowing.I nodded. "I couldn't think of anywhere to find you, and I thought of here. Where we first met.""Miss the mad man?" He teased and I laughed."How is my son?" He asked once the laughter died down, a hint of seriousness in his tone.I turned to him, squinting against the bright sun rays. "He is perfect. Luke is perfect."He broke into a big satisfied smile, then nodded. "I know. He takes after me. Without the flaws.""I think you are not that bad too."He turned to me. "You seem to have learnt a little too much. But then
I felt tears well up in my eyes again, and I slowly reached for the phone. My hand was trembling badly, and I had to hold it down with my other hand. I picked it up, then brought the phone to my ear, tears already streaming down.It was still raining outside, and I kept my eyes on the drops that stayed on the glass window, as I spoke into the phone."Hello?" My voice shook, and I closed my eyes. "Who is this?"I knew who to expect. The man that would report Luke's accident to me, and the hospital he was rushed to. Then I would run out the house only to meet him dead."Karla?"My brows furrowed at the sound. Even over the static and the heavy rain, I could tell who it was, well enough."Karla, this is Karla, right?"My brows furrowed even more as I clutched the phone to my ear. "Luke?""Oh, thank Goodness gracious. I guess I was so out of it earlier when I was about to leave, and I forgot the documents meant for the meeting on the bed. Did you see it?"My eyes widened as I slowly turne
I watched Luke as he slowly went back to eating and a small smile spread my lips. Of course. It was because he had bought it for me.We ate in silence, and once we were done, without letting me even have the chance to protest, he packed the plates up, then headed straight for the kitchen.I followed behind him, and just like I used to do when he baked back then, I pushed myself on to the island and sat, my feet hanging downwards.He looked at me once and I smiled at him. He smiled back, a little sheepishly however, then returned to his chore. It will take some time for me to adjust to the fact that he wasn't in love with me now."You won't go to work today?" He suddenly asked, raising a brow to me.I shook my head immediately, I didn't even need to think about it. "I am going to take a lazy day and...spend it getting to know you better."He looked at me, like I was ssome alien."What?" I asked, laughing a little."I will need some time to get accustomed to you being like this with me.
Luke watched me like he wasn't sure what I was about, but he let me skim my hands over his face, feeling his skin open up under my palm."Was it a bad dream?" he asked slowly, before pulling away from me. He didn't go too far, and I lowered my head, my hair falling in front of me."No, I just...like, the past few months were wrong. On my part...the silence we subjected each other to and the loneliness...everything Luke. They were wrong. Of me. They were wrong. That we both were thrown into this without actually...knowing what to do with this situation. I don't hate you, I could never, I just...we both didn't deserve this."He bit down on his lips. "I know. But it's not us. The situation is...weird. We found ourselves in this marriage and...""I want to make this work." I said, looking up to him, my trembling hands coming to my face to slowly wipe it away. When I dropped my hands, I could still feel the moisture under my eyes.Without a word, Luke brought his thumbs under my eyes and
My heart beat picked up, my eyes feeling with hot tears. My lips parted slowly as the memory came flashing back, painfully.I rushed down the stairs once I heard that clatter, my eyes rolling a little as I passed by the large kitchen door without even turning back."Karla?"I rolled my eyes and turned, a deep exasperated breath escaping my lips. "Yes, Luke?""Well, I....""I have work to go to."He looked at me, his expression unreadable. Like he was trying hard to understand me, to tolerate me, but he was finding it too hard."Karla, I was hoping...I was hoping we could..""I know. You are still finding it hard to adjust to this. So am I, really. I don't understand why I have to wake up. To you. Everyday. That stare. Everyday."His lips parted, and his hands lowered, but I never looked down to see what he was holding."Karla, it's not...""I am tired of it too. I have things to do at the office. Later.""Karla.""I'm busy!"He flinched, but said nothing as I walked away through the
I sat up, my chest heaving hard. My eyes stung hard, my body feeling weak. My hands were wrapped in a cross around me as I held I and Luke's wedding picture to my chest.My eyes fell on a dark brown book sitting next to the bedside lamp. I propped myself on all fours and took the book, then slowly let down the picture.It was Luke's diary. The same one he had used seven years ago. The same one I had read in the past. I swallowed hard, feeling my eyes moisten up again.I opened the first page. Most of it was the same. The problems with his mother. His father's death...the only difference was that, there were absolutely no traces of me. Nothing at all.My eyes welled up more as I flipped the pages hard, till I got to a certain page. July 17th, 2022. The day we had gotten married.I swallowed as my fingers moved to let me read Luke's words on the marriage."I got married. I can hardly believe it, but I did get married. I never did believe in finding someone I would love, but marrying