“Watch your step.” Jyeon reaches out for me as we walk down a dark shadowy staircase, and I pull my arm away, so he doesn’t get a chance of touching6. I walk faster and skip ahead down two steps at a time, knowing exactly where this is but acting dumb.
If I thought I had seen everything so far and could suss him out, then the barefaced audacity of where he’s brought me has blown my mind. He’s going the whole hog trying to paint us as something we never were. Wading full steam into sentimentality by bringing us to a place I have stepped foot only once.
The lights come on as I step into the vast, spacious banquet hall that belongs to OLO. A private function room under one of our buildings that held our wedding ceremony for family, friends, and business partners. The so-called happiest and most important day of our life. He’s going in with the big guns, and I have to
“You broke me. Never in a million years did I think that you no longer exiting my life would devastate me so much. I know I was a shitty husband, and I never once made you feel like I cared…. I told myself I loathed everything about you, and I showed you that too, but my world stopped when you left it. You have to believe that. Everything came crashing down on top of me, and it’s why I had to bring you home, why I’m doing this. Why I couldn’t leave you on that island and forget all about you…. because……. everything has been empty and lifeless without Sohla Park.” Jyeon’s words filter off so quiet and low and breathy; I have to strain to hear him, which renders me completely mute. Shocked. My emotions tumbling inwards like a giant hole opened up inside of me, and everything is sucked down to leave me in stunned silence. Staring at the hands on the table and unsure what else to do except breathe. Ne
“We shouldn’t overdo it. The specialist said to take your time and go slow. Not overwhelm you with stimuli to force it. You remembered Tia; that’s more than I thought would happen so soon…..It’s a good step. You did good, Sohla. Don’t try too hard, or it may affect you negatively.” Jyeon is being weirdly gentle with me as though I’m vulnerable, delicate rice paper. Or maybe a child, and he’s cheerleading me over the tiniest of achievements. It feels off for so many reasons. He’s kept touching non-existent since I pulled myself together and seems somehow warmer since I broke down.“I’m hungry.” I point out, dodging conversation because I’m embarrassed and disappointed in myself for losing my shit like that. Walking ahead in the street and aiming for the hot dog vendor in the near distance while dodging other walkers this late in the day. It’
“I haven’t changed, just the face I showed you did. Maybe I’ve matured stopped being so two dimensional in my outlook, but the inner me is still the same. I guess like you. You seem different in so many ways, but the girl I grew up with is what I see again, so I guess you just changed your face too. Do people ever really change? Or do we just take off masks?”Another tense silence as we think about his words, and I break the intense heaviness.“What if I never remember? Are you going to keep me prisoner and refuse to set me free? Stay married to a guy I don’t know at all.” I skip around a lamppost, and we’re split up for a few seconds as two men walk between us before we come back together. He reaches out, catches me by the elbow and tugs me in beside him as more people push our way, and they have to walk around us instead. Making it clear he didn&rsqu
“I think we need a private detective or something. Him confessing like that makes it seem unlikely he was the one who messed with the car, but then again, maybe he’s a compulsive liar.” Greta sits so close and whispers, even though our cab driver has no clue what we are talking about. He’s not an OLO driver, as we booked this ourselves.I came home in shock last night and recited everything to Greta after that insane encounter with Jyeon, and yet my mind is no more untangled than it was. Our kiss ended, and we didn’t talk much when he drove me home. What could I say…? what could he? He confessed love to a woman who is oblivious to him as a man, as a person, as a memory. He couldn’t ask me to reciprocate, given I don’t know him and only apologised for springing it on me and acting like a jealous lover. I’ve had a headache ever since and now this.
“So, we have to get your assets released as the first port of call. As they were put on a freeze while you’re a missing person, and they can be reinstated once your DA test comes back positive.” Bryant is explaining, and yet I’m staring at Jyeon as he walks around and sits beside him like he’s a despicable monster. Angry at how low he can go as a human. Frowning and inwardly murmuring a hundred curse words.“Well, can you explain why she’s dead in the first place?” Greta cuts in, seeing that I’m somewhat distracted, and hauls her cell phone from her pocket to pull up a news article from two years ago declaring such. We agreed I needed answers as it was the catalyst to my never coming back.Jyeon frowns at it, seemingly not shocked at this coming up, and then nods.“Because we had to. My mother and brother were
“Don’t be nervous. They’ll be shocked at first, but I didn’t want to tell them beforehand and get mom worked up on the flight home. It’s better for her to be calm at all times.” Jyeon is pacing the Livingroom of the house that used to be my home as I sit on the long beige couch. The entire place seems to have been redone and updated in the last two years and looks even more like a cold, uninviting show home. It’s familiar, yet not, and surreal to be sitting here again.I’m silently pensive and watch him trying to stay chill, even though he’s very uptight. He’s more wound up about this than I am, which I’m not sure about why. In contrast, I’m emotionally blank from being back here and trying to take in all manner of feelings about it in a detached kind of way. Greta is home sulking because I told her I wanted to do this alone.&l
“No.”“It’s safer here. I can do more for you if you’re home.” Jyeon’s stubborn tone moves in under that husky voice that used to melt me to my core. He’s always had a pleasant voice, but I’m not a fan right now.“You just want to put me somewhere you can control and keep tabs on me with extra helpers. Did you forget that someone in this house tampered with your car? That I don’t remember these people or this place…. that I don’t feel comfortable here. That I don’t want to live here.”He sighs heavily and turns his head my way.“I’m looking into it. I honestly don’t believe anyone here would do anything like that. It makes no sense, unless they wanted to hurt me….and then, who? Does that make sense to you? It might have been
I’m trembling inside at the turn of this conversation and annoyed that I keep giving him angles to have these heart to hearts. I walk myself into it every time, and he’s being so god damn vocal and open, unlike him of the past who would never share his thoughts and feelings with me, that it always catches me off guard. Trapped between him and his words while being faced with a sea of memories back when I thought Jyeon would be my entire life.“So, what happens to her now? If I’m here and I remember everything. If you get your way and I stay married to you against my will? Does your mistress still stay in the picture too? One cosy little happy family.” I turn on him, thinking face to face, acting cold is the better option for this chat. Show him I’m not affected or that I care. That the bitch he hated before can still show face. To turn it back to something negative.I’m startled to find him right behind me, staring at the back