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38– Adaline
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2025-04-16 21:09:05
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To Hate, To Love, And To Wed 101– Adaline
Silence strangles us. The smell of antiseptic and medicine and sterile environment fills my lungs. But most of all, it’s Michael’s scent that makes it all bearable—these walls, this brightness, this loss… Michael makes it bearable.I’m tucked into his chest, with his arms firm around my waist, holding me like I’m the only thing keeping him from shattering. Even then, I know he’s shattering.His body is shaking. His throat is vibrating. And yet he’s silent. He’s keeping the pain inside, all for my sake.I don’t need him to hide the tears from me.Perhaps it’s not just the tears that he’s struggling to hide. Maybe it’s also the shame, the self-loathe and blame, because he believes he’s the reason I’m going through this. He’s inadequate.He failed me.That is not what I believe. Not in the slightest. “Michael…” I murmur into his chest, nestling deeper into the heart hammering erratically.“Hmm,” he hums, fingers spearing through my hair.“You don’t intend to be silent all day, do you?
To Hate, To Love, And To Wed 100– Michael
People usually describe pain as physical.They couldn’t be more wrong.Pain isn’t always physical.Pain is the voice in my head singing aloud my inadequacies.Pain is standing by this door and listening to my woman explain the extent of her ordeal to her best friend.Pain is not being able to do anything for her.Pain is knowing that my woman lost a part of her that she might not get back.I twist the knob separating the en-suite waiting room and her main room, crossing the room on slow and soft steps.Kate raises her head, blinking away her exhaustion. “Mr. Black?”“Give us a moment, Kate,” my voice is soft, “please…”Nodding Kate stands and exits the room. The loss of her touch makes Ada twist, mumbling, “please… don’t leave me.”I kick off my shoes and climb into bed with her, holding her against my chest while I stroke her hair. “It’s okay, baby,” I whisper. “It’s me… I’m here.”Her body shivers and I hold her closer, kissing her head and whispering words even I cannot hear—or pro
To Hate, To Love, And To Wed 99– Adaline
It happened within unsuspecting hours.This moment, I was working tirelessly on a new design, making rough sketches of ideas that wouldn’t stop flooding my mind.And the next moment, I was in a hospital, an IV line attached to me.The doctor had smiled, looked me in the eyes and said, “congratulations.”What she was congratulating me for, I didn’t know.But when she went on and on about how healthy the baby was and how I should cut down on the stress if I wanted a smooth pregnancy, I realized I was pregnant.I realized that all this time, I’d gotten so busy I forgot to get my birth control pills. And given how active me and Michael were, it wasn’t surprising.At that moment, I went through all the stages of grief.For me, it was simple—we were not ready.There were things we needed to do by ourselves first before bringing in a life. And yet, there was this nagging happiness that overwhelmed me.I suddenly wanted to be a mother.But I needed to wait. I wanted it to be a surprise for M
To Hate, To Love, And To Wed 98– Michael
“What was that about?” Ada’s father asks the moment I enter the en-suite waiting room.I look around. “Where’s Kate?”“She’s running a few errands for me,” Jameson answers with a straightface.Nodding, I plop into the couch, throw my head back and shut my eyes. I can feel my skin burning with his eyes as he awaits a response—one I’m unwilling to give. I pry my eyes open as my head lolls to the side. “It’s nothing.”“It’s not nothing.” Jameson says pointedly. “Two days, Michael, and you’ve been a shell of yourself.”“Yes,” I agree, “because my woman is in pain. Because I failed to protect her.”“It’s beyond that.” He counters.I raise a brow. “Is it?”“Michael—”I cut him off with a groan. “I haven’t slept in two days. I need to rest my head.”“She’s crying,” Jamseon says, all of his smugness disappearing, replaced by the desperation of a father who wants to understand his daughter’s pain. “What did you talk about?”I’m silent.A beat. Two. “She was pregnant. Lost it in the attack.”
To Hate, To Love, And To Wed 97– Michael
Now it’s just us.Me and my woman, in the quiet.This is how it’s meant to be, what I planned for it to be once her event with Alora Mount was concluded—just us, time away from work and people. But I never imagined that we’d be here, encased by white, sterile walls.I sit beside the bed. My hand hovers above hers with hesitation, then lowers. I wrap her cold fingers in mine. “Are you feeling alright?”She offers me a smile. “I thought you’d never ask.”“Why wouldn’t I, baby?” I murmur.Adaline inhales a deep breath. “It’s not your fault, Michael.”I can’t help the chuckle that leaves me.“It couldn’t have been your fault,” her voice is firmer, more assuring. I don’t respond. Holding her hand with one of mine, I cradle her face with the other, smiling softly. “You’re such a fighter, baby.” A breath tumbles out of me. My chest shakes. “Thank you for holding out until I got to you…”Her eyes roll as though she’s holding back tears. When those irises meet mine again, they’re brimmed so m
To Hate, To Love, And To Wed 96– Michael
Two days later.Adaline is still asleep. And I’ve been standing and pacing for so long my legs are aching.This is the only thing I can do. I won’t be able to function any other way until I’m certain my woman’s eyes are open and stable.The room smells like antiseptic. Lavender strangles the air. It shouldn’t—antiseptic and Lavender should have nothing to do with each other.But Kate placed a diffuser in the corner, as though pretending this place is anything other than what it is: sterile, quiet, and heavy with grief.I’m almost convinced she’s still in denial. Because how can her best friend go from being a successful entrepreneur with a unique brand that’s already causing traffic to lying in bed unconscious…Adaline mumbles again. Just like she’d been doing since today—a string of slurred, soft nonsense.Drool clings to the corner of her mouth, and her eyes shift beneath their lids.I stay standing—hands folded over my heaving chest, eyes intent on her. Kate is curled in a chair
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