EYE TO EYE
“We hate to let you go, Miss James. You are one of my most prized employees,” Anthony Son, my boss, said when I handed in my resignation letter.
I gave him a small smile. “I’m sure you’ll find someone even better than me, Sir,” I replied.
He sighed and nodded. “Are you sure you’re ready to go back to London?” he asked.
I nodded and smiled weakly. “Yes, Sir. It’s been years. I think it’s time.”
It’s been four years since I left the United Kingdom for my parents’ approval. I hated leaving but I didn’t have a choice. If I didn’t go, my parents would despise me. This is their dream for me—to become successful in my own field, for greener pasture.
It pained me every single day that I was away from my homeland. My heart clenches whenever I see the things he’s given me. I know I don’t deserve any of those gifts the moment I left him for my dream but…Is it wrong to be happy about the things that used to give me joy? Is it wrong to be glad for the moments we shared?
I don’t know.
Sure, it was hard for me. But I know it’s harder for him. I left him without a word. I left him after that fateful night. I left him after giving everything to him. I know he must feel really betrayed. If I were him, I would never forgive me.
“Eunique, are you going to apply for the open HR positions in different companies?” Mom asked me.
I just arrived a week ago but my parents are pressuring me to find a job in an instant. “I don’t know, Mom. I want to chill for another week.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. Dad, too.
I bit my lip and looked down on the food on my plate. I know they wouldn’t want me to lax for another moment. Knowing my parents, I know how they are suckers for jobs, for work, for money.
“I heard Nildex is looking for a new Human Resource Head,” Dad butted in. “Why don’t you try to apply there? Nildex is a huge company. I’m sure you’ve got all the experience you need to be hired.”
Just hearing the name of the company, my whole body shivered. Sure I wanted to see him soon, but I don’t think this is the right moment.
“I’ll think about it,” I replied as I quietly ate. I know they wouldn’t understand my reason for declining this huge suggestion but I don’t think I can do it. Maybe in the future, but not right now.
My parents still said a lot of things before the dinner ended but I let them all go into one ear then out on the other. I thought doing what they wanted years ago would guarantee me an assurance that they wouldn’t meddle on my life in the future.
I was wrong.
Of course my parents would always have a lot to say on how I run my life and the decisions I make. I will never have the freedom I wanted.
My sister, Eujean, looked up at me when she saw me all dolled up one night. She’s sitting on the couch while reading a magazine.
“Where are you going?” she asked me.
I shrugged. “Out with friends,” I replied.
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Did you tell Mom and Dad?” she asked again.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m twenty-five years old, Eujean. Do I really have to report everything I would do?” I narrowed my eyes at her. “And you, where did you go last night?” I asked he back. She went out last night and didn’t go home until it was three in the morning. I’m pretty sure she has more explaining to do than me.
She pursed her lips in a thin line. I know her. Eujean loves parties more than I do. She goes out for parties even at a school night. “Not your business,” she rolled her eyes.
I smirked. “If it’s not my business then don’t meddle with mine.” I told her before leaving her in the couch, muttering some words under her breath.
I don’t care though. My sister is a brat. And she hates me. A lot.
I’m used to all the cold treatment I am getting from my siblings. Out of all four, I am only close to the middle child, Eurick. The rest of them are brats.
“The party’s about to start, where are you?” Ashley Grant, one of my best friends, asked me through the phone.
“I’m driving over,” I replied. I am already on the road, beating the shit out of the night city traffic.
“You better be driving or I’m going to tell your momma that you’re out!” She’s trying to manipulate me.
“I am driving!” I insisted.
“You better! I’ll wait for you in the entrance,” she said before hanging up.
I shook my head and just drove to the bar she’s in. Ashley is always that one person who wanted to have fun. She is in love with freedom but at the same time, she loves to have validation.
And above all that, she’s Kristian Lowe’s fiancée. Kristian Lowe, Kaisser’s best friend.
I pulled over and handed my keys to the valet. “Thanks,” I muttered as the man smiled at me.
“You’re welcome, Miss Beautiful.”
I smirked just to fight the feeling to roll my eyes at him. What a flirt!
I walked to the entrance and saw Ashley standing there with our other girlfriends, Janice and Hannah.
“Eunique!” They all screamed when they saw me walking towards them.
I ran to them as they hugged me tight.
“Goodness gracious, girl! I missed you!” Janice beamed as she looked at me from head to foot. “You look even more beautiful!”
“Four damn years!” Ashley laughed. “Four damn years, Eunique James.”
I smiled and looked at them. “I missed you all, too,” I told them.
Looking at them right now, I can see the difference they have undergone for the past four years. They all look more mature and more corporate right now. Sure, they still have the same attitude but physically, they’ve changed a lot.
I wish I did change that way, too.
“Your hair looks better like that. Not too long, not too short.” Hannah grinned. “Any boyfriend?”
I smiled weakly. Boyfriend? I don’t even think I have moved on from him and they’re asking me if I have a boyfriend. I was too busy drowning in my memories with him to even look for someone to replace him. He can never be replaced. That’s for sure.
Even if he’d found someone to love after me, for me, he will never be replaced.
“Don’t tell me you’re single?” Janice’s eyes widened.
I bit my lip. What’s wrong with being single, anyway?
The three laughed at me. “Move on, girl!” They chorused.
Ashley held my arm. “Tonight, you’re getting over that guy from the past!” she beamed before pulling me inside the club.
The music is too loud but I like it that way. I missed going to clubs. Years ago, we used to chill in places like this. We dance. We celebrate.
But ever since the day I left him, I stopped going to parties. I can’t be happy anymore. I can’t be in happy celebrations anymore.
I looked around the dancefloor and suddenly dreamed of him there, looking at me, walking close to me to dance with me. I can feel his hand on my waist as he pulls me closer to his body. His cold breath runs through the nook of my neck and I close my eyes.
“Eunique,” Janice’s voice brought me back to the reality.
I grew disappointed that everything was but a dream—a dream that would never seem to happen. I left him alone, hurt and broken. How would I expect him to come to me with open arms?
I must be really stupid.
“Are you that excited to go to the dancefloor?” Janice laughed as she pulled me to one of the couches.
My eyes widened when I saw Kristian Lowe sitting there, beside Ashley. He looked at me and smirked. There’s something in his smirk that makes my heart fall from my chest. Kris being Kai’s closest friend sent anxiety rushing through my veins. For now, I would assume that Kai knows that I’m back.
But then…it’s been years and Kai must have someone else now. I hope he doesn’t.
Ashley looked at me, alarmed. “Oops. Sorry, Eunique. I invited Kris because he won’t let me come if he doesn’t come as well,” she told me.
I looked at all of them and smiled. “Yeah, sure. No biggie.” I replied and sat beside Janice who’s talking to someone on the phone.
“Martin, I’m not drinking, alright. Just chill.” She’s talking to her boyfriend on the phone. “Yes. I’ll text you when I get home. And yes. Sober. I’ll go home sober. My god!” She rolled her eyes as she hung up.
Hannah looked at me and shrugged. She handed me a drink. “Tequila?” she sheepishly grinned.
I accepted the drink and gulped it in one shot.
“How’s life, Eunique?” Kris asked out of nowhere.
I looked at him and smiled. He’s looking at me with eyes that are telling me how I have sinned against him or against his friend. “I’m good,” I replied. “You seem perfect, too.” I commented.
He smirked and slung his arm around Ashley’s shoulders. “Yes. I’m perfectly doing fine. We are perfectly doing fine.” He grinned.
I narrowed my eyes at him. I don’t know what he’s talking about but I don’t feel good about the we he is saying.
“That’s good,” I just replied and took another shot of tequila.
Kris stopped talking and was just busy with Ashley while I just drowned myself in stories and drinks with Janice and Hannah. I’ve narrated how my life in New York was and they were so thrilled they want to be in New York soon as well.
We only stopped when Kris stood up and nodded at someone behind. “Good thing you came,” he beamed.
“What the hell, dude? You said this is important.”
That voice…
I slowly turned around, scared of who I would see but turned anyway. And it seems like my world stopped moving when I saw the person I have been missing all these years…eye to eye.
IT’S OVERMonths before I decided to come back to The United Kingdom, I had the idea of how Kai and I would meet again. I imagined it normal and planned because we’re going to talk about the reasons why I left and the reasons why he stayed, if he stayed.But this…this is not what I have planned.I am caught off guard and defenseless. He’s standing in front of me with eyes narrowed at mine, eyebrows creased.My heart almost dropped on the ground the moment I laid my eyes on him. He looks different. Since the last time I saw him, his features matured. His gaze got even more intense. His jaw is even more perfectly carved. And his body…I could only purse my lips and sigh inwardly.I only stopped staring and when he cleared his throat.“What’s with the fun?” he asked but he was looking at Kris.I swallowed a big lump in my throat. I expected this. After leaving h
WAITING LISTThe intensity of the pain I am feeling right at this very moment is almost unbearable. Hearing those hurtful words from the person I value the most makes it extra painful.I was crying the whole drive home and he didn’t even do anything to calm me down. I was crying ugly inside his car, beside him but all he did was drive. No words of comfort. No anything at all.I wiped my tears with my handkerchief and immediately got out of his car the moment he pulled over our gate. I didn’t look at him, nor thanked him for the lift. I didn’t need a ride home. I needed him to take his words back. But I know he wouldn’t. And it’s all my fault.Eurick saw me as I entered the house. His eyes widened when he saw me in this state and walked to me. “Nique, what’s wrong?” he asked, worried.I smiled weakly and shook my head. “This is nothing. I’m just emotional because
THE LASTMy throat ran dry when I heard Kai’s question. An employee with loyalty? An employee with a word of honor? Why is he asking me this question? Has he not moved on from me? From us?I want to know, too. If I was only allowed to ask that question to him right now, I would’ve asked it.Miguel and Paulo looked at me, waiting for my reply.I stared at Kai who’s busy reading my resume. Did he have to read it? I am aware that he knows everything written in it.I cleared my throat. “I am true to my word,” I started and Kai looked up and stared at me, with narrowed, intimidating eyes. My heart is beating fast but I needed to defend myself. I needed to get this slot. “When I say things, I really mean them—”Kai scoffed. “Really?” He smirked.I pursed my lips in a thin line. “Yes, Mr. Bennett,” I replied. “I know myself. When I
CRYKaisser took a very deep breath when he released me from his arms. I immediately felt the emptiness in my heart. I never thought I would be this empty.He looked at me as he took something out of his pocket. “Here. Wipe you own tears,” he said in a very cold tone as he handed me a handkerchief.I looked at it and shook my head. “No, Kai. You need to hear me out first.” I wanted this to end. I’m going to tell him everything now. I want all of this to stop. If he hears my explanation and still decides to leave me, I won’t blame him.He looked at me and pursed his lips in a thin line.I wiped my tears with my palm and swallowed the lump in my throat. “It’s my parents,” I started and snorted. “They wanted me to finish my studies abroad for better chances of getting the best job in the future.” I looked at him and his eyes are on me, waiting for me to conti
WELCOMEI cried the whole day at a park I passed by when I left Nildex. I didn’t care if people give me weird glances and sympathetic stares. My heart is breaking and I don’t have anyone to blame other than myself.I have been away for too long. Four long years. All these times, I have only been thinking of how Kai could forgive me when we meet again. I have always thought of how I could have him back to me. I have always thought of how he would be able to find someone else to have apart from me.I may have hurt him a little too much for him to look for someone else to love.Or maybe he stopped loving me when I left? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyway.I went home very late and just thought of the best excuse to tell my parents when they woke up. At least I applied at Nildex. I’m not expecting to get hired, though. I’m even thinking twice now if I really want to work there.
I KNOW WHAT TO DOI stared at him upon hearing those words. I don’t know if I should be happy or not. I’ve been wishing for this moment to come, the time where I can be with him in one workplace. But would I still want it now that I can see how happy he is with someone else?“You just hired me,” I said, repeating what he just told me, in disbelief.He stood up and crossed his arms across his chest. “Yes. I did. So, don’t waste your time and energy applying to some other companies,” he replied. “You said Nildex is the best company for you to exercise and apply what you learned, right? Now that you have the best, would you even look for something lesser?”I was stoned at his question. I don’t know if he’s still talking about the company or about something else.“Why did you hire me?” I couldn’t help but ask. I’m so confused. Does he r
YOUR GIRLFRIENDIt wasn’t that bad after all. I just needed some time to adjust to the new atmosphere but I’m getting by. My colleagues are all bringing about happy vibes so I’m happy. At least I can be happy, even just for a moment.“Who wants pizza for snacks?” Heina asked everyone in the room.Almost everyone raised their hands and the boys even shouted, “All on you?”Heina rolled her eyes. “I won’t ask if it wasn’t, dummy!” she told Charles who asked the loudest.I chuckled on my seat as I reviewed the new applicants for the company. I’m just too happy to be one with them. Being in one company with Kai was bad enough, having ill-mannered members would’ve made it worse.Charles stuck his tongue out. “Buy a lot then!” he beamed earning a glare from Heina.Sofia smiled and looked at me. “Miss Eunique, what else
NOT NOWI couldn’t calm down. I am not in the mood for anything. When I walked inside the office, everyone looked at me but no one ever dared to talk to me. I went straight to my desk to review on the files of the applicants I interviewed today.My heart is aching as usual, but the intensity of the pain right now is excruciating. I’m praying for the time where I will be immune to this intensity of pain. I hope it comes soon before I lose my mind.I love Kai. Of course, I do. I can’t imagine the day I won’t. Even though he’s killing me with what he’s showing me right now, I still love him. But I also realized one thing.I don’t possibly have to be with the person I love. Sometimes, loving someone brings in too much pain that would require distance in order to save oneself from impending self-destruction. Sure, I love him but if this love would hurt me, then I’d rather let go.