On My Knees

The council hall was packed.

Every wolf in Silverfang had come to watch. They lined the walls and filled the balconies, a sea of faces turned toward the long stone floor where I was being marched like a criminal. Some looked sorry. Most looked hungry. I had fed these people, healed their children, and sat beside their dying. Now they whispered behind their hands as I passed.

Luna Wren pushed her. Poor Isolde. I always knew she was cold.

At the far end of the hall, on the high platform, sat the Alpha's chair. Kael was in it. Isolde sat beside him in my chair, wrapped in a white shawl, her bandaged head resting against his shoulder like a wounded bird.

Dorian and Ronan let go of my arms at the foot of the platform. I felt them step back, and for the first time in three years, I stood in front of my mates completely alone.

Hold on, Sable whispered. Breathe. Keep your hands still. Do not touch your stomach.

I lowered my hands slowly. I could not let anyone see.

Elder Maren rose to read the charge. She was an old woman with sharp eyes, and she did not look at me once.

"Wren Ashford, Luna of Silverfang. You are accused of attacking Isolde Marrow on the east staircase, with intent to kill. Do you deny it?"

"I do," I said. My voice rang clear, even though my knees were weak. "I did not touch her. She asked me to come upstairs. She stepped off the edge herself."

A low laugh rolled through the room.

"Why would she do that?" someone called.

"To make you hate me," I said. I turned to face the crowd. "She wants my place. She has wanted it since the moment she arrived. Think about it. How many times has she cried in front of all of you in the last two days? How many times has she been alone with me without a witness?"

"Liar!" a woman shouted.

"I have no reason to lie!"

"You have every reason!" Maren's staff struck the floor. "A wife who fears losing her husband will do desperate things. It is written in the old stories. It is the oldest crime in the world."

My eyes found Kael's. He sat completely still, his face unreadable.

"Kael," I said. "You know me. You have known me for three years. Have I ever lied to you?"

His jaw tightened. "Do not speak to me like that."

"Answer the question."

"You are not in a position to ask me questions."

"Have I ever..."

"ENOUGH."

The room went silent. His voice rolled over me, Alpha-deep, and my wolf flinched. I put my hand out to steady myself against a pillar and quickly pulled it back. Too close to my belly.

Isolde lifted her head from his shoulder. "Please, Kael," she whispered, loud enough for the whole hall to hear. "Don't be too hard on her. I forgive her. I forgive her for everything. I only want this to stop."

A gasp swept through the pack. Isolde's tears fell on cue. So kind, people murmured. So gentle. Even now.

I could have screamed.

"The law is clear," Maren said. "The penalty for attacking a pack member with intent to harm is twenty lashes of silver."

My blood turned to ice. Behind me, I heard a warrior step forward, the whip clinking softly in his hand.

I stood very straight. I could not let my face change. If I begged, they would see fear. If they saw fear, they would ask why. And if they asked why, I might say the words that would put my children in even greater danger.

Sable, I said desperately. Can you hold the silver?

For a few strikes, she whispered. Not twenty.

Then I need a way out.

Then find one. Fast.

"Wait."

The voice was soft and sweet. Isolde had risen from her chair, one hand pressed to her chest.

"Please, Alpha. I cannot bear it. I could never watch someone suffer because of me."

"Isolde," Kael said gently, "she hurt you."

"I know. But I don't want violence on my account." She turned her big grey eyes toward the pack. "Let her apologize. Let her kneel before the pack, admit what she did, and give up her title. That is all I ask."

The hall hummed with approval. How merciful. What a saint.

I stared at her. She looked back at me, calm as water, and under the tears I saw exactly what she was doing. She was not saving me. She was making sure I would be broken in front of everyone, so there would be nothing left of my name when she was finished.

"That is generous," Maren said slowly. "Alpha?"

Kael looked at me for a long, heavy moment. I thought he might refuse. I thought, for one wild second, that he would stand and say this had gone too far.

"Do it," he said.

They brought out the white stone.

It was an old pack tradition, a flat grey slab set in the middle of the floor where wolves knelt to beg forgiveness. I had passed it a thousand times. I had never imagined I would be made to use it.

I looked at the slab. Then I looked at my stomach, hidden beneath my dress.

Twenty lashes of silver, or one apology.

My mother used to say that a wolf's strength is not in how long she stands, but in what she is willing to bend for. I had not understood her then. I understood her now.

I walked to the stone.

My knees hit the cold floor, and a murmur spread through the hall. I heard someone laugh. I heard someone else say, finally. I kept my eyes on the stone and thought only of two small heartbeats.

"Say it," Isolde said, standing over me. "Say you are sorry."

"I am sorry," I said.

"For what?"

My throat closed. The words were poison. "For... hurting you."

"Louder. So everyone can hear."

"I am sorry for hurting you."

"And you give up your title."

"I give up my title."

"Say it properly."

I lifted my head. Her grey eyes were shining, bright with triumph. The pack was silent. Dorian was staring at the floor. Ronan had his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white. Kael sat like a statue.

"I, Wren Ashford," I said, in a voice as steady as I could make it, "give up my title as Luna of Silverfang."

The words landed in the hall like a stone in a still pond.

Something in my chest tore quietly in two. Through the mate bond, faint and far away, I felt a flicker. Ronan's pain. Dorian's guilt. Kael's, last of all, so deep and tangled that I could not read it.

None of them stopped it. None of them stood.

"Good," Isolde said softly. She bent down, smiling, and lifted my chin with one cool finger. "Now you know your place."

Then she turned and walked back to the platform. Kael rose from his chair and took her hand, and the pack parted for them like water.

"The sentence is lifted," he said without looking at me. "Wren Ashford will serve as a maid in the east kitchens until the council decides otherwise."

A maid.

A servant in my own home.

"There is one more thing," Kael added. He paused at the foot of the stairs. "Tomorrow night is the Moon Festival. At moonrise, I will announce the new Luna of Silverfang."

The whole hall held its breath.

Kael turned his head, and finally, for the first time since I had walked into the room, he looked at me. His dark green eyes were hollow. There was nothing left in them that I recognized.

"You will stand in the crowd," he said. "And you will watch."

They left me on the floor.

The hall emptied slowly. Voices faded. Boots shuffled out. I stayed on my knees on the cold stone long after the last person had gone, my forehead nearly touching the ground, my hands shaking.

I did not cry. I was past crying.

A shadow fell across the floor. I looked up and found Hazel standing over me, her face pale and fierce. She knelt and slid something small and heavy into my palm. A tiny silver key.

"For the east gate," she murmured. "It leads to the forest road. Nobody guards it at night."

I stared at it.

"I heard what they plan," she whispered. "Isolde will take the Luna's seat tomorrow, and you will be made to serve at her table. Child, you cannot stay. If she suspects what you carry..."

"I know."

"Then go. Tonight. Tomorrow. Before it is too late."

I closed my fingers around the key. It was cold, and sharp enough to leave a mark.

I thought about the three men who had sworn to protect me. About the oath Kael had spoken beneath the Moon, with my hand in his. About every time I had made excuses for them, every time I had waited for them to see.

If you wait any longer, Sable said softly, there will be nothing left to save.

I rose to my feet. My knees ached. My pride was in pieces on the floor. But my back was straight, and for the first time since the bells had rung, I knew exactly what I was going to do.

"Hazel," I said quietly. "Where is the Moon Altar?"

She frowned. "In the courtyard, where the festival will be held. Why?"

I looked down at the key in my palm. Then I looked up at the high platform, where an Alpha's chair stood empty.

"Because tomorrow," I said, "when they choose their Luna in front of the whole pack, I will be standing right there. And I will choose too."