เข้าสู่ระบบELI..“I had ruined it.”“I should’ve planned better.”The words echoed in my head as another car sped past without slowing. I clicked my tongue, stepping off the curb, hand half-raised before dropping it again.I glanced at the road again. The sun still burned our skin, too hot for 4 pm. Perfect.Without turning to face Zane. “We might have to walk forward,” I said.He didn't protest, just rose and followed. Zane was quiet, quieter than the road that stretched longer than I had expected. There were no other people, not many cars breezing by, nothing to distract me from his gaze burning into my skin.He must be judging me. I must have… I definitely ruined it for him. Imagine walking under this sun.We walked for a while before we finally caught a taxi.“Please, are you heading towards the sports campus?” I asked, already reaching for the door.Exhaling, my shoulders dropped as I rested against the backrest of the seat.The driver started talking almost immediately as the tires
ZANE..He sounded ridiculous. Eli was already on his feet, eyes bright like something had clicked into place for him.“Let’s go celebrate your brother’s birthday.”I just stared at him.He stared back.“You said no one remembers him, right?” Eli continued. “So we will.”I felt something move in my chest. It wouldn’t change anything. Celebrating wouldn’t bring him back.Exhaling, my lips pressed. “I don’t think we’re allowed to leave the camp.”Eli didn’t even pause. “I can handle that.” My gaze lingered on him, trying to understand why he’d want to celebrate the birthday of a person he had never met. Never knew.I shuffled on the spot. “I d—”“Do you want to remember him or not?” Eli narrowed his eyes, but his gaze wasn’t unkind—not even for a second.I didn’t answer. After ignoring him, was I even allowed to remember him?“Trust me,” Eli said. “Go get dressed.”My lips parted, but then he hushed me.“I’ll meet you at the gate,” he said, already walking away. When he left, I st
ELI..I never knew silence could be this loud, could swallow the rustling of the leaves of the wind, until I sat beside Zane.Minutes had passed, and he hadn't said a word. Just kept his head down, fingers loosely clasped like he couldn't afford to tighten them.The more seconds stretched, the more the silence pressed against my ribs. I exhaled sharply. “Are you going to keep acting like I'm not here, or–”“Fine.”His words cut through me. I stilled.Zane dragged in a long breath, and not until he faced me did he release it. “I'll tell you,” he said, eyes boring into mine. “But we make a deal first.”I blinked. “A deal?”A dry laugh slipped out. “Of course, because the Lord forbids you to just talk like a normal person.” A beat of silence passed, and then I tilted my head, my voice softening. “Not everything is a business deal you know.”“If I don’t,” he said, “you won’t answer me.”His eyes lock onto mine, sharp and unyielding. But his brows dipped, turning control into somethin
ELI..I knew something was wrong with Zane the moment they woke all of us at 6 am to run around the field, but he was left to sleep.And I knew something was wrong with me when I caught myself worrying about him even after he humiliated me.Focus, I muttered to myself trying to push myself through another lap. But my chest only burned more and more, and my legs felt numb every time they struck the floor. I slowed to a stop, chest heaving. But my body didn’t stop trembling. Didn’t stop aching.“Eli,” Mrs Susan called out, motioning me over.Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I trudged towards her.“Yes, ma’am.”She looked me over, the corner of her eye creasing. She wasn’t smiling. She always smiled at me. After staring for a while, she sighed. “Are you sick?”I squinted.“Terminal illness?” Her narrowed gaze held me. “Because what the hell is going on with your performance?”My stomach dipped.“Semi-finals are just in a few days and your laps are down, your timing is off.”Each
ZANE..One by one, everyone stopped running, they were now sitting, drinking water.But I kept running. Even when the air got thicker, even when the sweat trickling down my face, making me uncomfortable, I didn’t slow down. Didn’t stop.Couldn’t.“Take a break,” one of my teammates called from the sidelines.I ignored it, my feet slamming harder into the ground.Two days… two good days, and it still hadn’t left.John’s hand on Eli. The way he pulled him in, and kissed him.And Eli. He leaned into, melting into John, in a way he had never done with me. In a way, he would never do with me. That feeling returned. It wasn’t just my chest, it was everywhere. My heart, lungs, and stomach. It was like every organ was failing me.I pushed harder, pushing through another lap, and then another.But no matter how fast, how hard, I couldn’t outrun the memory.My knees buckled and I nearly stumbled over. I came to a halt, bending forward, hand bracing on my thighs as I forced air into my lung
ELI..It didn’t just land. It ricocheted off the walls of my skull. I stared at Zane, unable to move. Because Zane would never have done something like this.Yet his dare hung in the air.“I dare you to kiss me.”My heart slammed against my rib.Nathan muttered, “You can always drink instead. Three shots.”My eyes dropped to the bottle of whiskey.“An easy way out,” Nathan added.For everyone else, it was an easy way out. But not for me. Not when I was pregnant.John hadn’t stared at me. Almost like he was confident I’d drink.Maybe three wouldn’t hurt.My stomach tightened, the realization slowly suffocating me.I had no way out.I stood.The moment I did, the air shifted, their expressions tightening.Especially John. He went still, his gaze boring into me.I kept my gaze on Zane, daring not to stare at anyone else. Each step towards him felt heavier—stiffer. And when I stood before him, Zane craned his neck, his eyes on me, the intensity searing. I curved my spine, bringing my
Eli..I haven’t been able to breathe—not even with Louis by my side.Both of us stood before the table, staring at the sentence.“Tell him your secret,” Louis read it out loud one last time before snapping his head sideways. “We don’t have the rest of the letter to tell if he was referring to you
Eli..I didn’t care about his question. No matter who gave or took control, in the end my will was still the one being swallowed. I will still be forced to do things I didn’t like.But it was all for survival.“People who are tired of fighting alone,” Zane saidI wasn’t fighting alone. I had John
Eli ..We could have talked on the bench outside my hostel, but he had to choose this place.A place where the chair felt wrong beneath me, and the expensive leather felt like it had tiny needles prickling at my skin. Almost like it was built to reject people like me.And I had a feeling this was
ELI..His words settled between us.“If John hadn’t come to me, you would have never told me.”Up close, I could see every speck of blue in his eyes. One shade softened into another. I hissed. I should be creating space between us, not noticing whatever is going on in those eyes.I pushed agains







