12– Beyond the facade

Arjun

I woke up by the sting of a mosquito. I hissed in pain, watching it fly away. How the hell is there mosquitos in a hotel room? And this is supposed to be a five-star hotel? Unbelievable.

I had to squint because of the bright light. I was going to cover my eyes with my hand, but my hand stopped halfway to my face when I realized that I was laying on Preetah's chest. I frowned, did she watch me fall asleep or did she sleep before me? I lifted my body up a little and then looked down at her. She was fast asleep, her hair forming a silky layer over her pillow. Clearly, she was used to mosquitos.

I looked from her hair to her inviting lips. I couldn't resist the temptation to kiss them. She stayed asleep after the kiss, just turned her head to the other side, as if disturbed. I stayed looking at the side of her face, but only for a few seconds because she turned her whole body away. I stared at her bare back, which looked smooth and had the colour of caramel. She had a mole on the left side of her back. I touched it. She moved.

I decided to cover her with the flat sheet, careful not to wake her.

I had never been with a virgin before, maybe that's why I had this weird feeling of having to protect her. She just seemed so... vulnerable.

What's with you, Preetah?

Perhaps this feeling was weakness. Maybe I was the one folding in, being vulnerable. I still don't even know why she accepted to marry me, for all I know, it could be because of my money. And here I was, folding in.

I dropped myself on the bed next to her. Feeling utterly disappointed. I placed both my hands on my abdomen, staring up at the white ceiling. There was that mosquito again, hovering above us.

All my life I had only looked out for myself. Cared for myself. I had never felt attachment to anybody the way I felt today. I mean, how many times have people told me that I don't have a heart? Or that I have a heart of stone? Women, my father and even Artha at one point. But today, Preetah made me question that. For the first time in a long time, it felt like my heart may just not be fully dead. Perhaps there was a tiny part of it, still able to feel.

But now what? Today it's a little spark, will my whole heart ignite tomorrow? And then what? Will I become vulnerable again? Start taking every little word to heart?

I was vulnerable for eighteen years of my life. Long enough. Because even when I was being verbally and emotionally abused, I presumed it to be love. Believed that my father loved me. As a result, I loved him.

No... not again, Arjun. Not again.

I heard the mosquito buzz and then followed it with my eyes. It landed on Preetah's shoulder. I watched it for a few seconds before turning to the opposite side.

Preetah

Our first night together felt like heaven. Heaven on earth. Arjun had been gentle throughout, he listened to me and kept asking me if I was okay. He told me that I was beautiful and that he loved my body. After everything, we slept with him lying on my chest. I was awake long after he had fallen asleep and snoring. I was so happy. So happy that I thanked lord Shiva for keeping me for Arjun and keeping him for me.

Since he was asleep, it took much courage, but I ran my hands through his sleek hair, smiling down at him. I then ran my fingers across his lips, like he had done to me. He had beautiful lips, they were not as pink as they were in high school, but they had a hint of it.

In the morning, I was awoken by him scolding someone loudly over the phone. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, an open laptop on his lap and his cell phone to his ear.

“My question is, why did you wait until now to tell me?” He shouted. “I don't care about time difference! Something goes wrong, you phone me immediately.”

I sat up on the bed and tied up my hair.

“And it's simple, the delivering truck breaks down, send another one to take the goods and deliver. Why must we wait for the same one to get fixed as if we only have one? Now I have to get through a bloody two pages long email of BMW complaining that their delivery is late.”

With how worked up Arjun was, I could imagine that being the boss of a company must not be easy.

“Don't say you're sorry. Get the goods delivered to BMW today before close of business.”

He then hung up and threw his phone on the bed.

“Is everything okay?” I asked him as he began typing on his laptop.

He didn't respond. Perhaps he was too focused and hadn't heard me.

I got off the bed and wore the hotel's pink gown and white slippers. I took a seat next to him on the bed. He was wearing a white t-shirt and black pants. He looked like he had already taken a shower. How long has he been up?

“Good morning.” I greeted him. “Is everything okay?”

To my surprise, he still did not answer. I figured that maybe he was too upset about the late deliveries and was trying to fix the problem. I had to give him some space.

“I'll go take a shower.” I informed him. I took my cell phone out of my bag and went into the bathroom and locked the door. I phoned Roshni.

When she answered she shrieked with joy.

I laughed softly at her silliness. "Aren’t you at work?"

“Hmm... How was it?” She teased.

“Roshni, Arjun is right outside, I am in the bathroom.” I whispered.

“Yes, yes. How was it?”

I blushed. “I don't know... like floating...”

She shrieked, making me laugh. “You naughty little thing! I want all the details! Down to the smallest detail.”

I came to take a seat on the toilet. “I don't know Roshni, but Arjun is just so sweet, and gentle, and so handsome! Gosh he is hooot!”

“Ooooh! Girl, did he—”

The door handle creaked. Someone was trying to open from the outside.

“I have to go. Bye.” I quickly hung up.

“Preetah.” Arjun was knocking on the door. “Who are you talking to?”

I unlocked the door, and he stepped in.

“Who are you talking to in secret?” He asked me, an eyebrow raised.

“Roshni.” I told him as he took my phone out of my hand and began going through it. “Not in secret, I just didn't want to disturb you.”

He was silent for a few seconds as he went through my phone with a frown. After a few seconds, he passed it back to me. “I booked us a flight back home. The quickest I could get was at 10pm. So 10pm we leave India for good.”

He sounded so stern and emotionless as if delivering information, he had gotten from someone else.

“What about our flight to China?” I asked him.

“I cancelled it.” He said.

“Oh...” I was really looking forward to visiting China.

“You're only 5 hours from China, why haven't you gone before?”

I felt a little embarrassed. “Uh... I didn't really have money for travelling.”

Arjun stared at me like he was thinking hard and trying to read my mind. Not in a romantic way. I felt just a little uncomfortable.

“Of course.” He answered.

I didn't know how to respond to that, it was obvious that Arjun was still not in a better mood.

He stepped out of the bathroom, leaving me a bit confused at this change in his aura.

He came back into the bathroom. “Why are you just standing there?”

“I actually want to brush my—”

“Anyway,” He interrupted, shaking his head. “I am going to sit in the balcony and work. When you want breakfast, you can phone room service and order a meal.”

“Okay.”

He left again.

I felt downhearted only for a minute and then I brushed it off. Stop being silly, Preetah. Arjun is upset about business; how else do you want him to act? At least he is being honest about his feelings instead of just acting like the issue with his company isn't bothering him at all.

I took a deep breath in and then turned to face the mirror. I gave myself my biggest smile.

I thought about Arjun complimenting my lips — that's when my smile really looked genuine. As I thought about our time together, I felt tingles of pleasure take over my body. As I brushed my teeth and showered, I continued replaying my special night with Arjun — every touch, every kiss, every breath.

When I finished, I called for my breakfast and my husband's. As I waited for the food, I filled Roshni in about my day, and about Arjun's upsetting call from this morning. She took longer to reply after each message, informing me that it was because she was at work and had so much to do after missing work.

“I got your breakfast.” I said, holding Arjun's tray of food. I stood at the door.

Arjun turned to face me. He looked annoyed that I had disturbed him. I stepped into the balcony and placed his tray of food on the table next to his laptop.

“Thanks, but I don't eat breakfast.” He responded and then reverted to his laptop screen.

“Oh...”

“What I will take though, is a strong cup of coffee. Black. No sugar.” He said.

The hot water, empty cup, and coffee was already on the tray, so I quickly made him one. He watched me make it. He then took a sip and placed it back on the table. “Thanks.” He said. “You can take the other stuff away.”

I picked up the tray. “Uhm... you said our plane leaves at 10 tonight...”

He nodded and continued to work.

“Did you inform father?” I asked. “Or should I?”

“He'll come with Artha and Dean.”

“Okay.” I smiled and then walked back inside. I am sure father was very happy. It would be his first time flying out of the country too.

I couldn't wait for when the American doctors would make him prosthetic legs. Nothing would make me happier than to see him walk again. When they book the flight, I would have to ask Roshni to go help him pack up. She wouldn't have a problem with that.

I spent the rest of the day sitting on the bed and watching movie after movie. I kept darting towards the glass door, Arjun was still working. He was on and off calls too. After the third movie ended, I laid on the bed, my head where feet normally are. I faced Arjun, his back was to me. I couldn't help feeling a little sad... It's been almost 4 hours, and he hadn't eaten anything. He had just walked in to use the bathroom and then walked out again. Hadn't even looked at me.

I was hungry, and I had breakfast, what about him? I didn't want to disturb him too by going to ask if he wanted lunch. I'll eat lunch with him, whenever he decides to eat. I'll wait for him.

Just then he got up, the laptop in his hand, and walked into the room.

Our eyes met as he walked in. This time I didn't look away; I was glad to see him!

He placed his laptop and cell phone on the table in the room and then walked to the door. He placed his hand on the doorknob and then turned to me. “Would you like to order lunch or go out for lunch?”

I quickly sat up on the bed, my heart jumping with joy. It would be so good to leave the hotel for a few hours. “Uh... go out.”

He nodded and then walked to the balcony and back. He opened his wallet and handed me his bank card. “Go have lunch then. We'll meet up here two hours before 10.”

I took the card, feeling my heart fall.

“I thought we were going to have lunch together.” I told him.

“I'm going out with Dean. I'll have lunch with him.” He said. “My sister is 4 rooms away, you can go out for lunch together if you want. But she talks a lot. It's up to you.”

I was very disappointed. The whole day he had been working, now he was finally done but he was going away. I felt like telling him that I wished he could stay and have lunch with me, but I didn't have the courage to. I didn't want him to think that he married a clingy wife. He wanted to spend quality time with his best friend, I had to let him. That's what a good wife would do, so I gave him a smile and nodded.

After the door shut, my smile faded. As much as I wanted to be a good wife, I missed my husband and longed to spend time with him.

Roshni

I held my breath as I quickly packed the dog food on the lowest shelf in the last aisle. It smelt horrible. So horrible.

I quickly darted at my watch.

“Okay. Almost home time, Roshni.” I whispered to myself. “30 more minutes and then—”

“Are you talking to yourself?” An annoying voice interrupted. It was Mr Karan. My boss.

I groaned inwardly and then turned my head and looked at him blankly. I was on my knees.

I shrugged.

“Come to the back.” He said curtly and then turned to leave.

“For what?” I hissed at him. “This is the last stock to pack for the day.”

He turned around quickly, fixed his spectacles and gave me a frustrated look, before turning away. His back was slightly hunched, and his belt was always over his belly.

“Do you see the time?” I hissed at him, getting up quickly and running after him. “Isn't Mrs Sofia here?” I whispered.

“She went to buy some stock.” He answered and then pulled me by my arm, into the stock room. A rat scurried away at the sound of our footsteps.

The stock room was dim as one of the bulbs was fused. It smelt of dust, plastic and tinned foods.

I clenched my teeth and felt my blood boil in anger and disgust as Mr Karan placed the hook on the small door.

After locking the door, he immediately came for my breasts. I stepped back, away from him. “Wait, I need to finish my work before I go. It's almost 6—”

“You haven't been here for 3 days, girl, come on now.” He sounded impatient and as he spoke, he reached out to hold me.

“The more reason why I should go finish my work.” I told him, holding my breath as he leaned in.

“Stop talking so much.” He hissed. “Do you want to keep your job or not?”

I turned to the other side and unwillingly let him give me a couple of wet kisses on my face and fiddle with my clothes.

His mouth smelt of strong curry and it made me gag.

“What's your problem?” He scolded.

I shook my head as a response.

After cleaning his teeth, he went on. I gave him my back and let him use my body for his pleasure. At least it always lasted less than a minute and a half. All I had to do was hold my breath, for a minute and a half with one break in between, and then I could get far from him.

I cussed inwardly and felt disgust, hearing him grunt and feeling him grope every part of my body.

After he finished, I took his arms off from around me, stepped away and pulled up my jeans.

“Give.” I held out my hand.

He was bent over, panting, his pants still around his ankles.

“You don't even let the old man regain his breath first?” He scowled.

I didn't respond, kept my hand out and kept my frown intact.

He shook his head at me and pulled his pants up. He then did his belt and then pulled out a stack of notes from his pocket. From the stack he took out a couple of notes and handed it to me.

“What is this?” I asked, after counting the money.

“You should know business was quiet today—”

“This isn't even half of what you are supposed to give me.”

“I'll add it to the next one, don't worry.”

“Really now?” My blood boiled out of anger.

“Relax. I said I will add it on to the next one—”

I cleaned my teeth and then left the room.

“Who are you cleaning your teeth at?” He yelled behind me.

How dare him think this low of me. I have become so worthless that he was sure there would be a next time...

I stopped in my tracks when I saw Junior at the till helping a customer. When he saw me, he smiled and waved.

I responded with a closed-mouth smile and then walked in the opposite direction.

I sat down next to the smelly dog food and folded the money into my pocket. As I fixed my hair into a neater ponytail, tears escaped my eyes, and one found its way between my lips. I wiped my eyes and ignored the salty taste of my tear.

After letting out a huge sigh, I picked up a bag of dog food and continued packing. “Suck it up, Roshni. Come on.”

After a second, Junior appeared, with a grin.

“You good?” He asked me.

I nodded, “you?”

“Tired, but okay.” He scratched his head.

I nodded.

“I found that customer waiting at the till with no one to help her, could have been a thief, you know.” He told me.

I nodded. I don't give a damn. “Yeah, sorry. Was stock taking in the back. Needed to be done, I wasn't here for 3 days.”

“I noticed.” He gave me a soft smile. “Heard you were sick. Are you okay now?”

I nodded. “Yup.” Can you please go now?

“I missed you.” He told me.

I felt as though someone had hit the pause button on me, stopping with my hand on the one pack.

Junior was a nerd, but sweet, it was very obvious that he liked me, he would sometimes throw me hints by bringing me take aways for lunch, chocolates and even making comments such as these.

I was not into nerds but this particular nerd, with thick glasses, and a contagious smile, was actually bold, confident. As a result, I liked him too. Although I shouldn't.

“Didn't you miss me?” He asked, with hopeful eyes.

It didn't matter. I'm not good enough for him. He deserved much much better. I was already too far gone.

“Son, you're back?” Mr Karan grinned behind him.

“Yes, father.” Junior said, going to touch Mr Karan's feet.

“Aren't you tired? Why are you here?”

“The store is big, just came to give you and mom a hand.” He responded.

“We have a hand. Roshni here, that's her job.”

“I think it's time you maybe get another person too. Roshni was sick and it was just you and mom.”

“It's fine, we don't have money to pay an extra person anyway.” Mr Karan said, placing a hand on Junior's shoulder. “The store is paying for your studies, that's all that matters. Don't worry about us.”

What a hypocrite Mr Karan was, acting like a good family man in front of his son when really, he was just a pathetic perv. It angered me hearing him sound this way. All the new girls they employed never lasted longer than three weeks. They always never showed up again, without a trace. But I knew why.

Everyday my hate for this place increased because of Mr Karan. I didn't see myself lasting long here anymore. In a couple of months, I would have saved up enough money to pay for my first year in Nursing, which I had already gotten provisional acceptance for. And then I could become somebody other than nobody.