Brian is sitting on the couch, drinking hard liquid with a poker face when I enter the apartment with sleepy Mavin in my arms. I expected a frown, questions, curious looks seeing a baby in my arms, but I got nothing. He doesn’t even look at me when I pass the living room to get in the guest room. He sits on his couch, eyes on the ceiling to floor window, observing the night sky with deep-rooted courtesy.
All the way from the hospital to home, my heart was thumping so damn quick that I almost passed away in uneasiness. God, it is still beating fast.
In my head I keep arranging my conclusions, forming sentences. How to apply the appropriate words, lines, sentences to break the news to him is all I could think about.
I realize it’s already late. I should have finished this for the first time I went to see Molly, but I didn’t know why I held myself back from talking about this with Brian.
Particularly, I am ashamed of
The sound is growing heavier. I try not to give any attention to that act what I am doing but nope, this fucking noise is just getting rowdy. I settle the cushion over my head to cut off the echo from wherever that is showing up. With my two hands, I put pressure around my ears over the cushion in order to kill the vibration. It still doesn’t work.“Fuck it.” I get up from the bed and sit down in the midst of the bed.Because of my hasty movement, I lose my balance and almost fall down on the bed again. I hold my skull with two of my hands and scream. The thumping noise that feels as if a hammer was striking some metal material is nowhere but in my head.The headache that I am dealing with right now is the clanging noise that wakes me up from my sleep when I finally enjoy nights of sleep after so many sleepless nights.“You are up, big guy?” Robbie’s head peeps through the door.“What
Three weeks later,Life goes on. I get settled in my apartment with Mavin the night I leave Brian, our marriage, and our house.I wept the first week was the toughest to pass with everything in my mind and the current development as a single parent; it was stifling at a point. Of course, Maria is still here for me, it’s rough.Without having Brian by my side, I understand I indirectly depended on him for many things. The way we experienced our lives for the last two months was incredible.Every morning waking up simultaneously, having sex in the shower, eating breakfast, leaving together for my college and his office as most of the time he gave me a ride, coming home, waiting for him, dinner with marvelous food and giggle, cuddle on the couch with a movie on the background or his work on the laptop, falling on the bed together, having sex, cuddling again before collapsing in the dream in one another’s ar
Inessa, the woman I fell in love with, is standing right in front of me. My wife is still the same. Nothing changed in these three long weeks when we were apart from one another. If anything, she becomes more magnificent; she is shining more than ever; the moonlight shines her glorious long hair luminously. The big, round green eyes draw me instantaneously, the pink full lips that I am dying to stain red with my lips.God, I missed her so much. These three weeks without her was simple torture, which I deserve with no doubt. Honestly, I ask more than that. Maybe a whack or a blow will be less compared to what I did to her.I accept the fact and was ready to leave her alone for life. But in the end, I failed.After reading the letter Inessa left for me, I realized how churlish I was in our marriage with her. And that’s not civil to her or any woman on this globe. No one deserves to be affronted by their better half.But I did th
I can’t believe my eyes for what they are seeing, my ears for what they are hearing, and my mind is having a tough time with all this stuff.He is here in front of me, drinking coffee, saying sorry for all his delinquency, declaring his passion and devotion for me, giving us a chance to make up. He is asking me out on a date.Okay, Mr. Brain, one thing at a time. My depressed heart can’t take all these revelations without experiencing a heart attack.I close my eyes and think about Brian’s monologue, and it demonstrably made me the happiest person. I should have recorded the conversation between us to hear the words out of his mouth again and again. It will be so fun, damn it, I missed it. I don’t perceive why, but seeing Brian pinning me over, or so much despondency for me, the anguish that his eyes hold, I love it.I am officially a dreadful person. I should feel bad for his suffering, but here I am enjoyin
2 years later “Dada, we are going to be late. Hurry up.” Mavin, our son, roars. This is his morning custom. He wakes up before everyone in this house and starts screaming for us to start our day. Morning sex is now just a delightful dream for us. Mavin doesn’t allow a minute for Brian and me to have some delicious morning sex. “Mama, you need to be in a hurry, too. Today is the parent’s day of my school.” “We should throw his get-up-and-go thing out of the window,” Brian murmurs. “I’m starting to hate kids again.” “You love him and kids too,” I mumble in sleep. “That’s why you adopted him after proposing to me for marriage. And the little girl Aurora we are adopting tomorrow is also your decision, Mr. McCoy.” “I am going to regret it again. I have a feeling, you know.” “Mama, dada, hurry up.” Mavin thwacks on our bedroom door. Two years ago, on my graduation
20 September 2020, Sunday, time: at 4 am.The session record of Brian McCoy with psychiatric Dr. Mia Smith.“How do you feel today?”My forty-something psychiatrist questions me. I don’t know why people ask this question to one another. It’s not like they can use their magic wand to make everything fine after knowing I feel nothing, not a single emotion.“Same as yesterday.”Today is the third day of this chaotic mental session. I have been in this dull, boring room before. I hate this room from the moment I sit on this leather couch. I am here for what? I don’t know why dada thought I needed help, but I don’t know what help I am seeking. However, like the ideal son he thinks I am, I comply with his word without making any fuss, nowadays I don’t have the energy to make an argument.Another reason for coming to this place is I want some fucking peace, my c
This house is nothing but hell, I still don’t get how I am still living here. I should have moved out of this place the moment I turned eighteen. However, I can’t leave my younger sister Hazel and half-brother Miles alone in this circus all by themselves. Every day something new drama happens here, I don’t get why our father can’t keep his personal interest away from home.I am tired of all the screaming, arguing, breaking flower vases. If I count in total, I believe my father’s girlfriend and wives in combined throw-away millions of dollars with the vases.Today once again my papa is getting a divorce.My papa, the proud Andrew Simmons, divorced his fourth wife, Genelia. The reason behind this divorce is mutual, they both wanted a different life. Papa is too old to fit into his twenty-five-year-old wife’s life. Genelia wants a hot and happening life, full of parties, selfies, unfortunately, forty-seven-year-old Andrew Simmons
“Dada, marriage with Simmons's the worst of the worst ideas.” I rub my temple. “Why did you promise Andrew something like this without asking me first?”A few seconds ago, dada informed me about the deal that he made with Andrew Simmons yesterday, this piece of crap information throws me out of the window. Now, I think I need to visit Mia twice a week, this is more disturbing than Olivia’s betrayal.“Inessa Simmons is an extraordinary woman. We need someone like her in our family, especially in your life.” Dada sits on the couch.“She is a child, not a woman.” I lean on the couch, I close my eyes with a tight squeeze.I met her a couple of times before, everyone in our circle knows her, polite, well-mannered, warm heart, kind nature is the keyword for her. Most of the women in our circle are jealous of her beauty, the power that her family holds, the perfect life that she leads.I heard all the