" Twain! "
" Steve," I sit up straight.
" Am at your doorstep and am sorry for showing up unannounced," he says.
I can't help smiling, there is a new glow to my face that I can't explain. So he cares about me.
" No, it's okay, really cool," I stutter. I can't find the right words to say.
"But I'm not around, I mean am traveling and my roommate too,"
" Oh! Where are you travelling to?"
" Nairobi," I reply.
"Okay, safe journey and.."
" And ?"
" Take care," he says chuckling.
He hangs up and I feel the old lady's stare.
" Is he the one you like," she asks.
I blush uncomfortably and shift my weight.
" I don't know, this whole feeling is new to me and things are moving too fast," I reply.
" Make sure he doesn't break your heart, the people we care about the most always do and it's like driving a stake into your chest,"
I open my mouth to argue and close
" Will you hold my hand? "It's the second time she is saying this. I'm sitting beside her hospital bed." You know it's not that serious, I'll get well soon and we can eat grilled chicken and pasta on New year's Eve," she says." Do you think they'll let you go home by that time?" I ask her." Of course" she says. "Are you doubting,"" No, it's only that you are getting worse, can't they change your treatment," I reply." No, I only started, the pain killers ain't helping, but they gave me another dose,"" Okay,"" Now sleep and don't worry yourself so much," I say kissing her forehead." In case of anything, will you place take care of your siblings for me and be the responsible one?"" What? Why? Nothing is going to happen,"" Just promise me,"" I will, I say, a sharp pain stabbing my chest,"
You're dumb if you think I never cared, because God knows how many times I broke my heart for you.I drug my feet up the front door heaving. I've never been this tired. I open the door and I'm greeted by emptiness.Cindy's absence chooses to Dawn on me right now.So she really left. I get in and head to my bedroom, it's neat as always. I like having my things in order. All my clothes are always pressed and folded, without any wrinkles. My shoes are neatly arranged, everything is in order.Cindy always said I have a disorder of wanting everything to be perfect. She called it a psychotic disoder, I can't remember the exact term she used.I open my luggage and sort everything out and return the bags to the shelves. Taking my towel I get into the shower and close my eyes. The water is warm and I soak my hair. With soap and shampoo. I get out of the shower and wear my favourite Rabbit
Twain take care of the baby, I'm going out with your sister,'" Can I go with you,""Keep quite, no more of your voice, we are going shopping with your big sister"' Don't go out and make sure he isn't crying,'' Okay, will you buy me crayons,'' No,'I step back, the pain inside my eyes and heart threatening to pull me under.Elaine my elder sister steps out and sticks her tongue out at me. I look at her, not angry, because I want to paint her face on canvasThe moment they step out the front door, Mike let's out an ear piercing scream. I take him out of the crib and begin straddling him. She said she'll be back after two hours. But he won't stop crying.I begin singing some lullaby.
I'm flowingI'm floatingI'm lovingI'm going " Hey, I have a class in one hour time," I shake Steve and he groans loudly caressing me with his honest eyes, blue like tropic skies. Maybe it is just me, but eye movements mess me up. " That's alot of time," he replies with a deep, raspy morning voice. " No, get up, you have that class with me, " I plead and he pulls me towards him before flipping our positions with me beneath him, thanks to his robustness and athleticism. Staying the other night wasn't a bad decision after all. At least there was someone who could help to save me from myself. Listening to the sad beats of my heart alone was boring. But perhaps I didn't need saving. When so much hate and evil has been projected towards a person, they become that. Li
I move along the pavements towards the library. Deep down I know whatever that girl said was true. But I still don't want to admit. It might be that to surrender to happiness,was to accept defeat, but it was a defeat better than many victories of human bondage. Or was I wrong. This was the problem of letting other people into your world, right now I felt vulnerable to him. In a way, he was holding my universe together. One move and my world would Crumble down. The sons of Adam had proven to be unreliable and full of deception in history and I wouldn't let that happen to me. All I wanted was him to just lay in bed together with me, and talk about nothing like we did the other night. With him rubbing my hair and back. Just us against the world. Listening to the beat of each others hearts and music of th
I climb down the rickety wooden stairs and they give way to cement and brick winding their way down to the basement. In this basement their was a feeling of real safety, a calm sanctuary, a dependable sense of home. My foot hit the wooden floor and I smiled to myself inhaling the cold and dank air. This catacomb had walls of a castle, string grey rock that provided the house a firm foundation. What made me happy was the solitude. Down here I could be alone and happy like I always wanted without anyone breaking into my small space and energy and sucking me out of it. No one would guess j was here or come looking for me. The grey walls provided great company and soon I was afraid I would start taking to the walls. However I was wrong. Because the devil always squeezes themselves into cracks inoder to get through to a person. &n
I wake up with a jolt and find myself outside under the moonlight. I scream harder as I take in my environment confused. Their is a rustle of grass behind me and I take off again to God knows where crying. I could feel the flight responses in me kick in, increasing my heart rate flooding me with added adrenaline " Twain! Wait it is me Steve," " Am with you stop running," I can't hear the words and I'm thrown off balance landing on the ground. " Twain, I need you to listen, this is Steve, we are here for mini camping we are together," he continues trying to steady his breath and calm the panic in his veins. " You need to breathe, you are hyperventilating." " That monster in your dreams is not real, you are here with me." After some time my breath comes back to normal and I try tearing myself away from Steve. He is hesita
You ever experienced that part where you lick ice cream and it melts down your fingers.Its the sweetest feeling but deep down you Know it is short lived because as soon as the ice is over, the feeling of ecstasy will be fine with it. Well, let's call it that, we never went to clubs again. But we spent every day together. I rarely slept alone except on rare nights when he went out with friends. And even when he did we would talk the whole night and he would call drunk saying he missed me. I know you think it's a happy ending. No it is not. We never made anything official. We just clung to each other like our whole life depended on it. And still, we never had sex again. All he did was hug me and cuddle on most of the time. And he would kiss my forehead goodnight. It was my kind of perfect. Well perfect until. Perfect is overrated. As usual