I'm flowing
I'm floatingI'm lovingI'm going" Hey, I have a class in one hour time," I shake Steve and he groans loudly caressing me with his honest eyes, blue like tropic skies.
Maybe it is just me, but eye movements mess me up.
" That's alot of time," he replies with a deep, raspy morning voice.
" No, get up, you have that class with me, " I plead and he pulls me towards him before flipping our positions with me beneath him, thanks to his robustness and athleticism.
Staying the other night wasn't a bad decision after all. At least there was someone who could help to save me from myself. Listening to the sad beats of my heart alone was boring.
But perhaps I didn't need saving. When so much hate and evil has been projected towards a person, they become that. Li
I move along the pavements towards the library. Deep down I know whatever that girl said was true. But I still don't want to admit. It might be that to surrender to happiness,was to accept defeat, but it was a defeat better than many victories of human bondage. Or was I wrong. This was the problem of letting other people into your world, right now I felt vulnerable to him. In a way, he was holding my universe together. One move and my world would Crumble down. The sons of Adam had proven to be unreliable and full of deception in history and I wouldn't let that happen to me. All I wanted was him to just lay in bed together with me, and talk about nothing like we did the other night. With him rubbing my hair and back. Just us against the world. Listening to the beat of each others hearts and music of th
I climb down the rickety wooden stairs and they give way to cement and brick winding their way down to the basement. In this basement their was a feeling of real safety, a calm sanctuary, a dependable sense of home. My foot hit the wooden floor and I smiled to myself inhaling the cold and dank air. This catacomb had walls of a castle, string grey rock that provided the house a firm foundation. What made me happy was the solitude. Down here I could be alone and happy like I always wanted without anyone breaking into my small space and energy and sucking me out of it. No one would guess j was here or come looking for me. The grey walls provided great company and soon I was afraid I would start taking to the walls. However I was wrong. Because the devil always squeezes themselves into cracks inoder to get through to a person. &n
I wake up with a jolt and find myself outside under the moonlight. I scream harder as I take in my environment confused. Their is a rustle of grass behind me and I take off again to God knows where crying. I could feel the flight responses in me kick in, increasing my heart rate flooding me with added adrenaline " Twain! Wait it is me Steve," " Am with you stop running," I can't hear the words and I'm thrown off balance landing on the ground. " Twain, I need you to listen, this is Steve, we are here for mini camping we are together," he continues trying to steady his breath and calm the panic in his veins. " You need to breathe, you are hyperventilating." " That monster in your dreams is not real, you are here with me." After some time my breath comes back to normal and I try tearing myself away from Steve. He is hesita
You ever experienced that part where you lick ice cream and it melts down your fingers.Its the sweetest feeling but deep down you Know it is short lived because as soon as the ice is over, the feeling of ecstasy will be fine with it. Well, let's call it that, we never went to clubs again. But we spent every day together. I rarely slept alone except on rare nights when he went out with friends. And even when he did we would talk the whole night and he would call drunk saying he missed me. I know you think it's a happy ending. No it is not. We never made anything official. We just clung to each other like our whole life depended on it. And still, we never had sex again. All he did was hug me and cuddle on most of the time. And he would kiss my forehead goodnight. It was my kind of perfect. Well perfect until. Perfect is overrated. As usual
I dialled Elaine's phone several times and it just kept ringing. She was Mama's favorite child and she of all people shouldn't be off. The campus had just been closed down yesterday due to the covid 19 pandemic, when I was still mourning a relationship that never existed. I slapped myself in the head three times forcing my anxiety, distress and emotions to work together with me and solve the current issue. I could fix my broken heart alone but I can't fix Mama's illness so she can get well. I felt bad at myself remembering the earphones incident at the hospital when I couldn't hear her calling me. Dear God, just this once help mama get well, I prayed frantically.
" She's an angry child. Sometimes I try to understand her but it feels like I lost her long ago. She won't talk or show emotion. She won't even play with other kids and hides from them. Even after I came back she couldn't admit to loving me, her own mother. I don't know what really happened to her or changed her those few years when I was away." " Have you ever thought about seeking closure and talking to her, you know, about her childhood," her friend asked. " No, " " Maybe you should apologize for what you did and tell her the truth, because she could go down the same path." She was just a child, she can't remember, and I have changed, I'm making up for my mi
Everything breaks. Hearts break, promises break and pencils break too. Some just take longer before they do. Lovers also break. Tall buildings break because of a small tremor.The world is crumbling under us and its the solid ground beneath our feet that's an illusion. When everything is stripped down its essence and the illusions go away, we are all going to crumble down like some landslide and be buried in our own fantasies.I walk into the emergency section of the hospital and find everybody standing in a line like a wall. They are all looking at me, not sure who is going to break the news." Twain, we tried, the doctors tried too, but things happen according to God's will. "The voice gets distant as he continues speaking. I feel myself floating in space watching from a distance.Fate can not be so cruel. To he'll with fate.What about what I want. What about her getting well." We just arrived and she was trying to be s
I could feel everything inside me building up yet I was just turning a valve. It made me think of my mother when she made cookies in the oven. She would prick little holes all over them so the cookies would breathe. I was just breathing letting out some desperation. I closed my eyes anticipating each thin cut, feeling the wash of relief when it was done. When I said I was hurting I wanted to see and touch the place that was hurting, not just feel it. " Twain! Twain" I could hear Luke, my baby brother yelling from a distance. Nobody was going to rob me of my little world of ecstasy. Everything good I had didn't last and this time round I would fight to keep this feeling. The cuts were pulsing and looked like ties in a railroad track. Like towers of stairs you would find on stage. I pictured a parade of ugly people like me and wondered where these steps would lead. The