Hearing Lola say her Alpha likely had a mate lined up for her makes my blood boil. I do my best to hold in my temper. Most people would say I am chilled out and sweet, and yeah I guess I am, though, obviously, as a warrior I have a switch I can flick to turn myself into a fighting machine if needed. That is how we have been trained. Gabe is the same. But the thought of my mate being with another man makes me angry, like nothing else I have ever felt before. And the thought that an Alpha believes he has the right to have arranged this infuriates me. It is not normal, and it is not right. This prick needs punishing, and the sooner the better in my mind. Plus, the sooner the better I get my mate away from that place, in my opinion. I think we need to find a way to get Esme away from there too, because I hate the thought of my cousin’s fated mate being subjected to that if the werewolf council are not able to close the pack down. “Stubborn as always then” I hear Lola’s Dad s
I had been out for yet another run with Aspen in the early hours. I don’t know if they were helping or not. I felt like I was hollow inside. My brain didn’t seem to want to function the way it was meant to….. Warrior training earlier today was pointless. I had gone like I was expected, though Knox did tell me I didn’t have to. But I am not going to have people feeling sorry for me, and being all sympathetic. Life needs to carry on. Esme has made her decision, I can’t change that. Training, however, the guys were being overly kind, which bugs the hell out of me. Though the fact my mind will just not focus when I need it to does not help. I go from one extreme to the other. I got paired up with Dom, one of our other Warriors. I normally train with Manuel, but I am guessing he is taking a break, to spend time with Lola. Well, usually I am pretty tough to beat, and don’t think Dom has ever beaten me, yet on a couple of training exercises we were practicing he beat me easily, b
I had been busy in University all day, completing multiple classes and doing some coursework that needed completing too. I was heading out of the classroom block to walk to my apartment on campus to carry on with some more coursework to make sure it was done for the deadline later in the week. Two of my tutors, Mr Braxon and Mrs Dawson, were walking the same way and began chatting to me as I walked, so as much as I wasn’t really paying attention I made polite conversation and smiled nicely at them. The sun was shining gloriously outside, which was definitely not a bad thing. It meant I could maybe sit outside on the small balcony with my laptop to do my coursework for a little while to enjoy the sun. Or even go for a drive and let Kya out for a run, assuming she wanted to, she was still in a mood with me….. I don’t know how long the silent treatment was going to last after me walking out on Gabe. She clearly saw me as being to blame for that, despite the fact I was doing my best
Wow, I can’t believe she has asked me to stay with her for a coffee. Though I didn’t want to leave her. I didn’t know that I wanted to stay either. My head right now is just a chaotic mess. It does not know what it wants. My head and my heart are hurting. Being with her feels so natural, yet a little uncomfortable. I feel at ease being with her, like it is where I am meant to be. I don’t think I can just give that up. Is that how she feels? Is that why she asked me to stay for a coffee? We go and sit down while we wait for the staff to bring our order over. I felt like an idiot when I had said she should try Abuela’s churros. It just felt like a natural thing to say. Talk about making a conversation awkward. It will never happen. Could never happen as she did not want me, did not want to be with me. “So I guess I owe you an explanation, Guapo?” Esme reaches across the table for my hand. I whip my hand back, not wanting her to touch me. She looks shocked at my actions, bu
I am shaking as I take in his words. He wants me to reject him? I look to him. He is looking me right in the eyes. He doesn’t look angry. If anything he looks hurt, he looks scared. Does he want me to reject him? Or is he scared of me rejecting him? “Do you want me to reject you Guapo?” I say softly. “Well, that is what you do when you don’t want to be with someone, isn’t it?” he says, the nerves are evident now in his voice. I am sure of it. “But I do want to be with you though. More than you realise, I think Gabe.” I say, biting my lip after speaking, nervous of his reaction. “Ok, so you say, but you say we can't be together, Esme, you say we can’t be mates, so surely you should just reject me? You don’t need me” he says. I swear he is struggling to hold back tears. I know I am hearing his words. I know what he is saying makes sense. My parents asked me if I had rejected him when I had called once I had got home and told them I had run out on him. They had assume
I have to fight tears all the way to my car. Then the second I climb into the driver's seat and shut the door, it is like a fucking flood gate has opened. Tears are coming and they will not go away. I want her so badly. Why in all of holy hell did I let myself come to see her today? Why did I not ring Manuel or Knox for her number so they could convince me this was a bad idea?! Why did I not turn and go home when I began to have doubts?! Why, why, why, why, why and fucking why again?! So many whys and what if's. I messed up. I should never have hugged her. I had stopped her touching me because the contact was throwing me, was confusing me. The sensation from the mate bond felt good, yet it hurt, because, right now in my mind, it is associated with rejection too. But I crave the sensation because it is the mate bond and it feels so fucking good. This is one messed up situation! Then, when I took her in my arms, I was done for. I knew instantly I had made an immense m
Walking back to my apartment having watched Gabe walk away from me knowing that he had basically told me he didn’t want to see me again was one of the most painful things I had done. I know I can’t have him, but I don’t want to let him go either. I thought maybe we could still chat or occasionally meet up, I guess. As spending time with him today has been good, I love being around him, it just feels right, so natural and like it is meant to be. Which I know is stupid, as I know it is technically meant to be as it is what the Moon Goddess has fated, she has fated for Gabe and I to be together, to be a couple, so it should only feel right for us to be together, to be in one another's company. Yet there is too much at risk for us from being together. I thought when he kissed me he wanted the same thing, hoped perhaps he would consider being together, but not as mates, as selfish as that may be. So when he uttered the words he thought it was better we didn’t see each other or speak
All preparations were in place. Flights were all booked. My Mum and Dad were heading over to our house to meet with us all to let us know what the Werewolf Council had said. I was pacing anxiously, hoping they would be the bearer of good news. If the council had not been willing to listen, then we would have a serious fight on our hands to defend Manuel and his new mate. Plus, we had very little chance of helping Esme or the other females in the pack have a normal chance of freedom and life, where they are not treated like second-rate citizens to the men in the pack. Lilah had already got the coffee and tea made and the group of us were sitting in the lounge. Indie and Dan, with Finn curled up asleep on Dan’s knee. It sounded like he had been causing chaos for Indie today, so no doubt he tired himself out. Jake was stood chatting to Manuel and Lola. I assume about the planned mission, ready for tomorrow. Gabe, I had not been able to get hold of. I had tried calling in to