Chapter 4

I just had one reckless night. One blunder I could never erase.

The sheets still smelled of him.

I pushed them aside before the memory would consume me again. My head banged with every step, my body aching in places I had never known could ache. My wolf stretched inside me with a satisfied purr, like she had feasted. But I wanted to creep out of my own skin.

I pulled my clothes back on, careful not to look around the room. The empty, scattered bed was an accusation enough. There was no means of identifying him in the future. No name or number, and I think I liked it that way.

My fingers trembled as I tugged on my shoes.

"What have you done, Elena?" I asked myself again

But I could not let myself answer.

I left the room as calmly as I could, slipping through the back door of the bar into the morning light. People passed me on the street, strangers laughing, going about their mornings, unaware that I was breaking apart inside.

When I got to Lily's apartment, embarrassment clung to me like steam. She was standing at the door, her arms crossed, her intense eyes assessing my wrinkled clothes up and down, her smirk already blooming.

"Well, well," she said, stepping aside to let me in.

"Look who finally decided to show up. Where have you been, Miss discipline?"

I gave a faint smile and brushed past her. I knew she was going to do this.

"Don't do that, Lily. Please do not make my day worse."

She inhaled dramatically.

"Oh my gosh, Lena. What did you do?" she gave me a mocking look.

"You.... You didn't..."

"Stop." My voice broke quicker than I intended. I threw my bag onto the sofa, desperate for space, for silence.

"I do not want to talk about it."

She loosened up immediately, her teasing softening into concern. "Elena..."

I shook my head, already retreating toward the bathroom.

"Please, Lily, can we not talk about that for now?"

I closed the door before she could follow, leaning against it as my chest heaved. My reflection in the mirror was a messy hair, my eyes had bags, and my lips were still swollen from the kisses. I walked under the shower and began scrubbing my skin. I washed it like I could erase the night. But that was impossible. The thought of giving my virginity to someone I didn't know was not going to leave my mind for the longest time.

By the time I was done bathing, Lily was waiting with a cup of tea in her hands. She did not say a word to me, she just handed it over and let me sip in silence. The warmth soothed me, but it didn't touch the worry in my chest.

"You know you don't have to deal with it alone," she said softly.

I met her eyes for a moment before looking away. If I opened my mouth, I might tell her everything that happened at the bar, the stranger, what I had done with him, the way I hated myself for still wanting him. I really wanted to share it with her, but I wasn't ready.

Instead, I glanced at the clock. My heart dropped.

"Oh my. I am late."

I dashed for my bag, ignoring Lily's objections. There was no time. I could not afford another query at the Academy, not when my scholarship was on the line. I didn't want any more bad names attached to me.

The bus ride was torment. My stomach churned with every bump in the road, my mind replaying the events of last night, no matter how hard I tried to push them away. His golden eyes, the press of his mouth, the sound of my own voice begging.

"Stop it," I muttered under my breath, then a weird look from the woman across the aisle got me to my senses. I turned toward the window, watching the streets blur by, forcing myself to focus on something else.

I was so late and had to sneak in. I was halfway through the hallway when I heard my name.

"Hayes!"

The harsh voice cut through the hallway. I froze.

Professor Rylan stood with his arms crossed, silver brows drawn tight. His eyes raked over me with the same contempt they always carried, as though my very presence here was an inconvenience.

"You are late again," he barked.

"I...I'm sorry, sir," I stammered, warmth rushing to my cheeks. "The bus..."

"You always have one excuse or the other to give." His voice was a lash, audible enough for passing students to hear.

"You must think the Academy tolerates mediocrity? You are here by grace alone, Miss Hayes. Remember who you are and stick to it."

The words were like blows. I bowed my head, swallowing hard.

"Yes, Professor."

He dismissed me with a flick of his hand, already done with me.

I hurried down the hall. I was covered in shame as I heard murmurs from onlookers, my throat was tight, and tears threatened to fall, but I held tight.

My classroom was already full when I arrived. I set my notes on the desk, forcing my nerves to calm down as I took deep breaths. If I could get through this lesson, maybe I could feel better.

Then the door opened.

I looked up, and the ground almost swallowed me.

It was Him. Rich dark hair. Sharp jaw.  Golden eyes that glowed with pleasure, recognition, and craving. It was the stranger from the bar.

My stranger.

No, he was not a stranger but a student.

My student.

The blood emptied from my face. My hands tightened on the desk, and my nails were digging into the wood. He gave a familiar smile when he saw me, like he had been waiting for this moment.

"My apologies for being late," he said

He walked past the others as though he owned the place, his gaze never leaving mine.

My heart thundered, embarrassment screeching through me.

This could not be happening.

I swallowed hard, forcing my voice steady as I called the class to order. But my throat charred, my notes became blurred, and every time I looked up, he was there. Watching.