Chapter 6

When I woke up the next morning, everything still hurt my head, my body, and my heart. Nothing had changed. Ethan was still Anabel's brother. The rule was still the rule. And I was still stuck in the middle of the worst situation I'd ever been in, still confused about what to do. I wish it were all a dream.

 I picked up my phone. And I saw another three messages from Ethan and two from Anabel. I opened Anabel's first.

[Anabel: Morning, babe! Don't forget about Ethan's welcome party this weekend. You're coming, right?]

[Anabel: I really want you to meet my brother properly. I think you guys would actually get along. He's smart and funny just like you.]

I felt sick reading these messages. If only Anabel knew.  I didn't reply to her messages. I checked Ethan’s text too.

[Ethan: Linda, please talk to me. Whatever I did, I'm sorry.]

[Ethan: I miss you.]

[Ethan: At least tell me you're okay.]

Each message felt like a knife twisting deeper into my heart. But I couldn't respond to any of it. Because if I did, I'd want to see him. And if I saw him, I'd fall even harder.  And that is not going to help me in any way.I just locked my phone and dragged myself to the bathroom to get ready for work. I told myself I'd figure this out one day at a time.

But deep down, I knew the truth. There was no good way out of this. Someone was going to get hurt. And I was terrified it would be all of us. 

I showed up at my studio with sunglasses on and two coffees in my hand. Maya took one look at me and noticed immediately that something was wrong.

"Okay, Lin…what happened?" she asked, following me into my office.

"Nothing happened," I said coldly. She raised an eyebrow.

"Lin, you don't even know how to lie. You look like you cried all night. And you never drink two coffees. So spill it now!!!"

She moved closer and removed the sunglasses to confirm what she just said. I set both cups down on my desk and sank into my chair. 

"I can't talk about it, Maya.  It's complicated; you can't understand."

"Then make me understand. Is it the mystery guy? Ethan?" 

Just hearing his name made my chest tighten. I nodded slowly with tears forming in my eyes. 

Maya sat down across from me, and her usual teasing smile vanished.  "Did he do something to you? Because if he hurts you, I will personally skin….."

"No," I cut her off. "He didn't do anything wrong, and that's the problem."

 She tilted her head, confused. "I don't understand.  What do you mean he didn't do anything wrong, and that's a problem?"

"I can't see him anymore, Maya. It's... complicated."

"Complicated how?  Linda, are you going to explain to me, or do you want to keep beating around the bush?" 

I looked at her, debating whether to say it out loud. But keeping it inside was killing me.  I needed to let someone know before I go crazy.

"He's Anabel's brother, Maya," I finally said, breaking into tears. 

Maya's eyes went wide. "Wait. What? The guy from the bar is Anabel’s brother?  Your Anabel?"

"Yes, my Anabel." I dropped my head into my hands.

Maya leaned back slowly. “Oh... Wow.”

“Yeah,” I said, letting out a bitter laugh.  Maya stayed quiet, letting it sink in.

“So… Anabel doesn’t know?” Maya asked.

“No, she doesn't,” I said quickly.

“And Ethan?”

“He doesn’t know either. Not yet.”

Maya rubbed her forehead. “Wow...”

"I didn't know. Maya, I swear I didn't know. And now that I do, and I can't... I can't do this.  I can’t see Ethan anymore."

"Why not?  Is it not even better that he's your best friend's brother?"  Maya asked, looking confused.

I looked up at her like she'd lost her mind. I started shaking my head. "Maya, you don't understand; you don't get it."

Maya was still looking confused. "Okay… explain to me what you mean because I don’t get you, and you are scaring me…"

"Anabel and I have a rule," I screamed. "We made a rule some years back that there is no dating of family members. It's the one line we don't and can’t cross."

"Okay, but..." Maya hesitated. "Lin, you really like him, don't you?"

I didn't answer Maya immediately. I was just staring at her.  My silence said everything.  I eventually replied, “Yes,” I whispered. “I really do.”

"Then tell Anabel," Maya said gently. "Talk to her. I’m sure she'll understand."

"She won't," I replied, shaking my head in disagreement.

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do." I stood up and started sorting through fabric samples on the table beside me; I needed something to do with my hands.

"You don't know her as I do. This rule isn't just something we made up on a whim. It really matters to her. Family matters to Anabel a lot. And I'm not going to be the person who breaks that."

Maya was quiet for a long moment. Then she said, "So… what are you going to do about it now?"

"I'm going to end it before it even starts."

Maya leaned forward. “Lin, I get it. You’re trying to protect everyone. But shutting him out without a word? That’s not you, and it’s not fair on him either.

“I don’t have a choice,” I said quietly. “If I keep seeing him, it’ll only get worse.”

“And what if you already love him?” she asked quietly.

The questions hit harder, and I could feel the pain in my chest. I couldn't answer Maya.

Maya reached for my hand across the desk and took it. "Listen to me, Maya.  You don’t have to decide everything today. But you can’t pretend this thing between you and Ethan didn’t happen."

I nodded, my eyes stinging. “I know.”

“Then start with honesty,” she said. “At least with him, he deserves to know.”

I shook my head. “I can’t. Not yet.”

She squeezed my hand. “Okay. Then at least be honest with yourself.”

I pulled my hand back and wiped my face quickly. “Can we please just… work?”

Maya stood up. “Okay, fine. I will leave you for now.”She paused at the door. "But Lin?…"

I looked up.

“Running away doesn’t stop feelings. It just makes them hurt more.”

After she left, I stared at my phone for a long time. There were more missed calls. More messages.

I didn’t open them. 

Not because I didn’t care.  But because I cared too much, and that scared me more than anything else.