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When I Finally Chose Myself
When I Finally Chose Myself
Autor: The Moon

Chapter 1

Autor: The Moon
I was still frozen in place when the door burst open.

"Happy birthday!"

Streamers sprayed across my face, and Jared Gentry was the first to step forward.

He had a necklace in his hand. Smiling, he fastened it around my younger sister Carolyn Layton's neck.

It was the necklace I'd been asking him for as an anniversary gift for three whole months. Every time I brought it up, he frowned and said it was too flashy and wouldn't look good on me.

"Happy birthday, Carolyn. Here's to many more birthdays like this one."

Jared looked down at her and smoothed her hair into place.

My best friend, Melissa Miller, squeezed in beside them with a smile and pulled out the limited-edition lipstick I'd mentioned over and over.

"Happy birthday, Carolyn! Most people can't pull off this shade, but it's perfect on you."

She pressed the lipstick into Carolyn's hand and affectionately ruffled her hair.

The birthday song began, and more than a dozen people gathered around Carolyn, clapping along. I stood at the edge of the crowd, digging my nails into my palm.

As soon as the lights came on, Jared noticed me and frowned. "Scarlett, it's Carolyn's birthday. Did you get her anything?"

I didn't answer. I just looked straight at him. "You picked today because of Carolyn?"

We were supposed to be on our summer trip right now. I'd spent two weeks planning it and even taken time off from my internship.

But three days ago, Jared told me something had come up at school. Then he scheduled the reunion for today.

"Oh, come on."

Melissa hooked her arm through mine. "Scarlett, she's your own sister. Are you seriously jealous? It's her birthday. Cheer up."

But yesterday was my birthday too.

Growing up, Mom and Dad always said our birthdays were only a day apart, so it was easier to celebrate them together.

So every year, we lit the candles and cut the cake on Carolyn's birthday. My own birthday was always treated like an afterthought.

That was why I never celebrated my birthday. I never wanted to.

"You guys keep eating. I'm heading out."

I grabbed my bag and pushed the door open. The hallway was quiet, and no one followed me.

I didn't realize until I reached the elevator that I'd grabbed Carolyn's house keys by mistake. I turned around and headed back.

As I neared the room, I heard Melissa's voice from inside. "What's gotten into Scarlett? She's never been this petty before."

Carolyn spoke softly, sounding a little tentative. "Do you think Scarlett found out I was planning to tell Jared I like him?"

The room went dead silent.

After a long silence, Melissa gave a strained laugh. "Oh, don't be silly. There's no way Scarlett knows. I've been keeping tabs on her almost every day lately. I timed it perfectly.

"As soon as she failed the qualifying exam for that government job, I told you to go tell Jared how you felt. She was crying her eyes out back then. She wasn't paying attention to anything else."

A month ago, after I failed the exam, Melissa had seemed so worried about me. She called me every day.

"Cheering you up is what I do best!"

I'd been so touched that sometimes I barely even noticed Jared beside me.

So the close friendship I thought Melissa and I had was really just her way of keeping me distracted. She'd been making sure I never noticed that Carolyn had been secretly keeping in touch with Jared all along.

Melissa went on in a breezy tone. "Besides, anyone can see that you and Jared are a better match. Scarlett's too steady and rational. Do you know how many times Jared's told me he just doesn't feel that spark with her?

"She's too sensible. She never gives him anything to worry about. After a while, that gets boring."

She paused, and my heart sank at what she said next.

"Right, Jared?"

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  • When I Finally Chose Myself   Chapter 8

    Jared suddenly raised his hand and slapped himself. His cheek turned red instantly."I know anything I say now is too late."His voice broke, and for a moment, he could barely go on."But I really can't live without you. Ever since you left, I haven't been able to sleep. I keep scrolling through photos of you on my phone. I—""While you were lying awake at night, my ankle still hadn't healed."I glanced down at it. The scab had long since fallen off, leaving behind a faint pink mark."That day, I sat alone in an empty living room with blood running down my ankle while you took Carolyn to the hospital. Jared, do you really think I slept that night?"His mouth opened, but no words came out.I looked away and started to close the door, but he stopped me."Scarlett, just give me another chance. Even if it takes a year or two, I'll win you back!""Win back what? There's nothing left."I reached for the door again. "Jared, the person you want back is long gone. You killed her. If

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  • When I Finally Chose Myself   Chapter 6

    Tears still streaked Carolyn's face, but the corner of her mouth stiffened for a split second.Then she started crying even harder, her whole face scrunching up. "I didn't do it! Why would I sabotage myself? Someone must've hacked my account! Jared, you have to believe me!"She lunged toward Jared and tried to grab his hand, but he stepped back. She missed him and nearly fell off the bed.Jared stared at her, and suddenly, he felt like he was looking at a stranger. "So you've been lying to me all along?"At that moment, Jared almost wanted to laugh. He'd given up on me after I'd quietly waited for him all this time, all for someone like Carolyn.By the time Melissa reached the hospital, everything was already in chaos.Carolyn sat on the edge of the bed with her hair a mess, tears and snot smeared across her face. She kept pleading with Jared.He leaned against the window, his face set in anger, and said nothing.The hospital room door was open, and several passing nurses had a

  • When I Finally Chose Myself   Chapter 5

    Melissa stood where she was, broken glass scattered around her feet.The door had already shut behind me. I hadn't even looked back as I left, my footsteps fading down the hall until the apartment fell silent.Melissa opened her mouth, but something seemed to catch in her throat.She'd expected me to cry and make a scene. She'd expected me to do what I always did after Mom and Dad hit me, huddle in a corner with red-rimmed eyes and wait for her to come comfort me.She'd even rehearsed what she was going to say, running every line through her head several times.But I had only smiled and walked away, just like that, without leaving any room for discussion.Still, when Melissa pictured Carolyn's tear-streaked face, she forced herself not to waver. She decided to let it go.She pulled out her phone and texted Jared. "Scarlett left."Jared was at the hospital with Carolyn.The faint red mark on Carolyn's arm had already disappeared without leaving a trace. Even so, Jared had the d

  • When I Finally Chose Myself   Chapter 4

    My hand stopped halfway to the glass."So this is why you came? To tell me to back off so Jared and Carolyn can be together?"Melissa frowned, clearly annoyed, and set the glass down hard on the coffee table."Scarlett, you're smart enough to understand this. You're not as considerate or easygoing as Carolyn, and everyone can see it. Jared's been with you for years. Can't you tell whether he's happy?"Think about it. Who would want to spend the rest of their life with someone like you?"I stared at her as if she were a stranger.Just then, Melissa's phone rang.Jared's voice came through, cold as ice. "Put Scarlett on."I took the phone, but before I could say anything, he cut me off. "Scarlett, I already said I'd stay with you. Why can't you leave Carolyn alone?"Someone reported her for academic misconduct this morning, and the evidence came from your email account. You know what that could mean for her! Her graduation could be delayed. She might not even get her degree!"I

  • When I Finally Chose Myself   Chapter 3

    Dad sprang up from the couch, his face flushed with anger."What kind of sister are you? Look what you've done to Carolyn! She's depressed because of you! He's just a guy. Why can't you let her have him? Why do you always have to compete with her over everything?"I took a step forward, about to tell him that Jared had made his own choice.But Carolyn cut me off before I could speak, her voice soft. "Jared, don't listen to Mom and Dad. I don't blame you. I really don't."She lowered her head, tears falling onto the back of her hand. "What happened between us last week was something I wanted too."The room went dead silent.I turned sharply to Jared. His face had gone pale. His lips moved, but he couldn't get a single word out.My mind snapped back to the week before.I'd been stranded at the subway station in a downpour and called Jared dozens of times, but he never picked up. In the end, rescue workers had to get me home.I ran a high fever for three straight days. When I fin

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