Chapter 1

Aurora

Rain has always had a special place in my heart, the splattering noise of drops hitting the pavement, the sweet smell of wet mud and the soft rainy breeze makes my heart flutter with excitement and awe. But today, everything feels different, like for instance, the usual rainy clouds look gloomier than ever and there is a slight sadness in the air. I don’t know if it’s just me or if the universe is playing some sick game, but my spirits are down and I feel awful.

 “Is it okay if I leave early Mrs. Hemmingway?” I asked her in the sweetest voice I could muster and gave her the puppy dog eyes. She sighed and I instantly knew she wouldn’t say ‘no’, Mrs. Hemmingway was a plump lady in her late sixties with auburn hair and cat eye glasses that gave her a very stern look, but I knew she has a stop spot for me. “Sure, but I need you first thing in the morning, the shipment is due at 7am sharp” she said with a stern tone and I gave her a serious nod.

“I’ll be there” I promised before picking up my carry bag and making my way to the exit before she changed her mind, “bye Mrs. Hemmingway” I called out before leaving. The clouds had gathered and it was dark outside but it hadn’t started raining yet, sometimes I wish I could just quit my job at Mrs. Hemmingway’s and do what I’ve always wanted. ‘But that’s not possible’ I remind myself, with mom’s condition getting worse by the day and the bills that are stacking up, if I leave my job at the ‘Common Library’ now, I might’ve just signed up to become a homeless woman.

I walk towards our small brick house and just take my time to observe it, it’s still strong but you can make out how old it looks, it is my father’s last memory, after he died our family collapsed and things weren’t as joyous as they used to be. Ella, my older sister, eloped with the love of her life and left us to deal with the fallout alone, I couldn’t blame her though, she put ‘herself’ first. Which meant mom had to look after me all alone. For a while thing’s seemed good enough, mom still had her job at the hospital as a nurse, even with familial issues I kept up my grades and we were happy. But that changed when mom’s health took a turn for the worst, it all started when I unintentionally saw red marks on her handkerchief, I questioned her about it, she assured me that it was a mere throat infection and everything would be alright.

I believed her, why wouldn’t I? But as the days passed by, I didn’t need her to point out the changes in her physical state. She was always pale and weak, her eyes became more and more unfocused and the number of blood-stained tissues were impossible to ignore, that is when I took her to the hospital myself. Turns out, I was right, mom had stage 2 lung cancer, I was devastated, I couldn’t handle all of this alone, I wasn’t even out of the high school yet. I tried contacting my sister but got no answer, I was left with no other choice but to complete my studies and get a job simultaneously. Mom could still move but all the work load was putting a strain on her health and I just couldn’t ignore it for my selfish needs, so I took jobs to support us as much as possible.

I shake my head to clear the fog from the past before sighing and walking towards the front door, nine years had passed since I graduated from my high school and nothing’s changed. My financial condition is just above being piss poor, mom’s health is declining by the day, medical bills are over flowing and I am stuck with three jobs that merely pay for anything. Opening my purse, I shuffle inside to search for my keys, I take them out and open the door. The smell of antiseptics hit my nose and I instantly feel nauseated, no matter how long I’ve been around them, they never tend to get old, it feeds as a constant reminder of my mother’s poor health and my helplessness in her situation.

“Hey sweetheart” Amelia says from her place near the kitchen counter. When I had to go out for my job, there was no way I could leave mom all on her own, I had to hire a home nurse so she could take care of her medicines and appointments. Amelia is a woman in her late forties, with dark hair pulled in a bun and a beautiful smile placed on her lips, I could not have gotten any luckier with a nurse, plus she understands my situation and charges way less than any other person in this field.

I give her a small smile, “Hey” I greet and ask “how is mom doing today?” Amelia’s smile dimmed and I knew things weren’t great, she sighed and said “we had an appointment with the hospital today, the doctor said her lungs are collapsing faster than intended and she might not have long to live Aurora”.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, I knew this was coming, I knew she didn’t have long, in the past few months all the light in her eyes had been lost, mom looked like a shell of a person I knew a long time ago. Lung transplant wasn’t an option but even if I tried, the risk was too much and I was unwilling to lose my mother sooner than I had to. For the past nine years I had taken so much loan for her health, I was out of options now. Still, I didn’t want to believe that the one person I truly knew, truly cared and truly loved was about to leave me like the rest of them.

I was going to be entirely on my own.

I shook my head, this is not the time to sit and wallow, I still had three hours before my shift at the bar, three hours I could spend with maa. I washed my face and hands, and grabbed the salad Amelia left for me on the kitchen counter. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me sweetheart” Amelia said while walking towards the living room couch, I smiled at her and nodded in response. Sliding inside mom’s room, I put on the biggest smile I could muster, and willed myself to not breakdown in front of her.