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When Memory Erases Me, Who Am I?

When Memory Erases Me, Who Am I?

Short Story · Emotional Realism
By:  Drowsy JCompleted
Language: English
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10Chapters
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Synopsis

Face Slapping

Remorse Family

Bias

Independence

Hypocrisy

Familial Bond

Plot Twists

On New Year's Eve, my little brother begs me to play hide-and-seek with him. The moment I cover my eyes and count to 30, the "eraser" in my mind starts moving again. I stand frozen for a few seconds, then turn around, go back inside, and start watching TV. An hour later, Mom crouches down in front of me. "Sweetheart, where's your little brother?" Little brother? I blink, confused. "I don't have a little brother…" Her expression drops instantly. Leaving the New Year's Eve dinner untouched, everyone surges out into the heavy snow. But no matter how hard we search, we can't find my brother. Mom raises her hand and slaps me hard across the face. Her eyes bloodshot. "Didn't I tell you to keep your brother company? Didn't I tell you not to let him out of your sight?" she screams. "Where is he now? Which way did he go? Answer me!" I'm shoved to the ground, tumbling into the snow and ice. "Why couldn't it have been you who got lost, you idiot? It's not like you can remember a single thing anyway! "You forgot your brother this time. What's next? Are you going to forget your father and me, too?" Mom lunges forward, wanting to strike me again, but Dad grabs her and holds her back. They won't stop crying, and my heart aches alongside them. She's right. Why couldn't it have been me, the idiot, who got lost instead?

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10 Chapters
Chapter 1
Dad caught Mom's wrist just inches from my cheek, gripping it tightly."Enough!" he barked, his voice hoarse. "He's sick. Don't you know that he's sick?""It's precisely because he's sick that I told him not to take even a single step out of the house with his little brother!"Mom yanked her hand free, but she didn't come any closer. She just stared at me, her eyes bloodshot."He's only three years old! Where could he possibly go in such heavy snowfall?"Three years old? I tried to speak, but no sound came out. Was she referring to this little brother of mine?But my mind was a complete blank, except for the New Year's Eve concert replaying on TV and the snow swirling outside.Hearing the commotion, the neighbors came over too."Let's keep looking. A kid can't have run far. Maybe he went to one of his friends' houses?"Dad pulled Mom to her feet. "Why are you still sitting here? Get up and help look! There's no point trying to explain it to him!"For a moment, Mom's eyes seem
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Chapter 2
The snow came down harder and harder.I slowly crouched and curled myself into the shallow trench, just like Ray-Ray had done. The icy snow immediately soaked through my clothes.So this was how cold it was.I was such an idiot. How could I have forgotten something like that? But… I was indeed sick.The doctor had said I had a rare, progressive memory disorder. It was as though something was slowly eating away at my hippocampus. New memories couldn't take hold, and old ones were also fading bit by bit.Mom said it was as if there was an eraser in my head. But I didn't know why I had one there in the first place. All I knew was that things I could remember in the morning became blurry by noon.Mom called me stupid. Maybe I was.The night grew darker and darker.One by one, the lights came on in the town in the distance, accompanied by the occasional crack of firecrackers.It was time to go home. I moved my stiff legs.But the moment I stood up, that familiar feeling
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Chapter 3
Dad stayed up all night, waiting for me to come home, but I never did.When Mom came out of the bedroom the next morning, she asked, "That damn brat still hasn't come back yet?"Dad sat at the table, smoking. "I went to ask a few of the neighbors this morning. None of them have seen him. He's probably hiding in some corner somewhere, sulking."Mom threw the dirty bedding in her hands onto the floor. "Isn't that what he does best? The second he screws up, he pretends he forgot or plays dumb so we'll feel sorry for him and can't bring ourselves to punish him."He almost killed Ray-Ray yesterday, and he's still pulling this crap? Just wait till I catch him—I'm going to break his legs!"When he heard that, Ray-Ray, who was sitting on a little stool playing with building blocks, looked up. "Mommy, don't hit Joshie.""Ray-Ray, sweetheart," Mom started, instantly switching to a gentle tone. "Your brother made a very serious mistake. He almost let you freeze to death. He did something wr
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Chapter 4
The blessing ceremony started.The village elder recited the traditional New Year's blessings, and the villagers stepped forward one by one to place a sprig of evergreen at the foot of the tree and light their own candles.Mom went through the motions absentmindedly.It wasn't until boxes of fireworks were carried into the open area and were about to be lit that she suddenly shouted."Wait!"Everyone turned to look at her."Josh isn't here yet," she said, her voice sounding a little drained. "For something this important, the whole family should be here."My eyes widened. Mom really did still care about me after all."Maybe he's just watching from somewhere nearby?" the elder replied. "Let's just light them first. We wouldn't want to miss the appointed time.""But—""Mommy…" Ray-Ray suddenly tugged on her clothes and pointed toward the shallow trench nearby, half-covered in snow. "Was Joshie there yesterday?"Mom looked at where he was pointing. There seemed to be something
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Chapter 5
Mom knelt at the edge of the trench, looking as if she'd been glued to the snow.Then, little by little, she brushed away the loose snow.First came the faded blue thermal shirt, with the little duck she had stitched on the collar for me last year. Then came my disheveled hair, matted densely with icicles, clinging to my deathly pale cheeks.My eyes were closed. Frost had gathered on my eyelashes, which had taken on an unnatural purple hue."J-Josh?"Mom's voice was very soft, as if she was afraid of waking me. She reached out and touched my cheek with her fingertips.It was freezing. Hard.Her hand jerked back as if she'd been burned. But the very next second, she lunged forward again, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me with all her strength."Josh Greenwood! You get up right now!"My head flopped helplessly with her movements, my neck completely limp."Go ahead! Keep pretending! You think this is going to scare us? Well, it won't! Get up! Get up right now, do you hear
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Chapter 6
When we got home, Dad carefully laid me down on my bed with the blue sheets. He was very gentle, as if he were afraid of hurting me.He pulled the blanket up to my chin, then paused and tugged it down a little to uncover my face."There… So you can breathe better…"The neighbors helped Mom inside. When she saw me lying on the bed, her whole body started trembling again. She shook off the neighbors' hands and stumbled toward the bed."It's fake! None of this is real!" she muttered to herself, her eyes unfocused. "Josh is just playing a prank on me. He's just hiding somewhere! Yes, that's it, he's hiding…"She suddenly spun around and began frantically searching every corner of the house."Josh! Come out! Mommy won't yell at you anymore! I'll stitch up your doll for you! I'll make your favorite smoked ribs! Just come out, sweetheart!"Dad stepped forward to stop her, but she shoved him away."Don't touch me! Someone must have taken him! My Josh is such a good boy. Why wouldn'
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Chapter 7
The police arrived quickly. There were two of them—one older, Officer Watkins, and one younger, Officer Rudolph.When Officer Rudolph saw me lying on the bed, his eyes widened, and he quickly averted his gaze.Meanwhile, Mom clutched Officer Watkins' sleeve in a death grip, as if he were her last hope."Officers, you have to investigate! My son was murdered! "He's a good boy! He knows the way home! Someone must have lured him over, killed him, then dumped him in the trench! You have to catch the killer! He should be executed!"Officer Watkins listened patiently, trying to calm her down. At the same time, he dispatched Officer Rudolph to inspect the scene at the village entrance and the surrounding area, take photographs, and contact the relevant authorities to retrieve any surveillance footage that might be available."We need to find out what happened first," he said. "Please, try to stay calm.""How can I stay calm? That's my son! My living, breathing son!" Mom cried out, p
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Chapter 8
The expression on Mom's face froze. She stood there, her mouth half-open, but no sound came out. She just stared at Dad blankly, as if she couldn't understand what he was saying."His illness… Have you forgotten?"Dad's voice was quiet, but every word landed like a sledgehammer."He could remember the New Year's Eve concerts, and he might've even remembered what he had for lunch yesterday. But… What if, at some point, he suddenly forgot where home was?"What if he forgot how to climb out of that trench and make his way back along the path he's walked for 17 years?"Dad looked past Mom toward the figure lying on the bed in the room, the one who would never answer them again."It's not that he didn't want to come home… Maybe he just didn't know how…"His eyes welled with tears.I raised a hand, wanting to wipe them away, but nothing happened.In my entire life, I'd only seen Dad cry twice. Once was when I was diagnosed with my memory disorder, and the other was when Ray-Ray wa
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Chapter 9
Seeing my parents in pain hurt me too.But my brain wasn't very smart. Even in death, I was still kind of slow.Suddenly, a man appeared right in front of me. He told me he was a soul guide and that he was there to escort me into my next life."Mr. Soul Guide, if I cross over, will I really forget everything?"He nodded."Then… Then can you give me back all my lost memories first? Just let me stay and finish celebrating New Year's Day with them? Please?" I asked carefully.The soul guide hesitated for a long time before finally nodding in agreement.He gently tapped my forehead. "I'll come for you at midnight."Before I could say anything, an intense wave of dizziness washed over me. It felt as though someone had pressed rewind, and countless scenes began flashing before my eyes.Age four.Mom lifted me high above her head while Dad stood below with his arms outstretched. "Up, up, and away! Our little Ray-Ray is flying!"The sunlight was warm against our faces."You're ou
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Chapter 10
I watched Mom sitting on the floor. She finally picked up the tattered doll and held it tightly against her chest.But… thankfully, they had Ray-Ray now. At least he could stay by Mom and Dad's side in my place and make them happy.They cried for a long time, until Dad finally got to his feet."Let's… Let's give Josh a proper farewell."Mom looked up. Her eyes were so swollen she could barely open them, but she still gave a faint nod.Together, they brought over a basin of warm water, clean towels, and fresh clothes. Mom wrung out a towel and began gently wiping my face. I could tell her hands were trembling the entire time."Our Josh always liked to be clean," she whispered.Dad carefully worked through my tangled hair, using a comb to slowly loosen the matted strands.Then, together, they changed me into my favorite light-blue sweater—the one Mom had knitted for my birthday two years ago. The cuffs were a little frayed, but I still loved it.Mom lowered her head and began me
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