Trauma bonding

The door clicked shut with a finality that echoed through the quiet of June's home like a thunderclap.

She stood still for a moment—long enough to hear her heartbeat thudding in her ears—then staggered toward the couch like someone carrying the weight of a collapsing world on her shoulders. She dropped onto it gracelessly, her strength giving out, and her head fell into her hands as a sob cracked through her chest.

Tears came fast. Unapologetic. Violent.

This… this was not how she imagined her life would be.

She was June Williams CEO, whose reputation once turned heads in boardrooms and commanded the respect of titans. She was meant to be unshakable, unstoppable, resilient.

But right now, none of that mattered.

Because right now… she was just a woman who felt lost.

The memories came like raindrops on a forgotten windowpane, soft at first, then heavy and overwhelming. She remembered the night Larry proposed under the stars, sliding a ring on her finger with trembling hands and promises that melted her heart. She remembered the lazy Sundays, his head on her lap, her fingers in his hair, laughter curling through the air like perfume. She remembered when they were happy or at least she thought they were.

She remembered believing he was her forever.

Then came the betrayal. The accusations. The abandonment. He had left her when she needed him most, had believed lies over the love they had built. He didn’t just walk away he destroyed her. And the worst part was that she had tried to make sense of it all. She had blamed herself. Tried to be “better.” Tried to convince herself he’d come back.

Now here she was after rebuilding her life from scratch, standing at the helm of a company barely holding together under the pressure of corporate vultures, and still…

Still caught between the shadow of a man who broke her and the warmth of another who had only ever shown her kindness.

“Do I really love Xander?” she whispered to herself, tears streaking her cheeks, her voice barely audible. “Or is he just… a way to forget Larry?”

It was a terrifying question because the honesty in her chest was sharper than any blade.

Xander had been patient. Sweet. Consistent. He sent her flowers when she had rough days, made her laugh, respected her space, and kissed her like she mattered. He called her “queen” in that silly, charming way. He looked at her with eyes that never judged, never pressured until she gave him permission to love her.

And yet…

With Larry, it was different. Raw. Addictive.

Toxic.

There was a fire that once consumed her whenever Larry looked her way. It wasn’t just love it was possession. A soul-deep pull she could never explain. Was that love? Or trauma? Was she just addicted to the chaos because it once felt like home?

“I can’t believe I still love my abuser,” she said, her voice cracking with self-disgust. “What is wrong with me?”

Her hands gripped the sides of her head, as if trying to squeeze out the thoughts poisoning her clarity. But it was too late. The confusion had already taken root. Xander had told her he loved her, and she believed he meant it. She wanted to believe that this was real. She wanted to believe she could fall for someone who didn’t destroy her.

But how could she give her whole heart to Xander when part of it was still chained to the past?

Was she using Xander to numb the pain Larry caused?

Was Xander just… convenient? A warm bandage over an old wound?

“No, that’s not fair to him,” she whispered again, wiping her eyes. “He deserves better than to be a rebound.”

But she also couldn’t shake the fear that she might break him the way she had been broken.

A sudden buzzing on her phone drew her back to reality. A text from Xander.

“Hey beautiful, I had an amazing time with you. Let me know if you want to see me tonight. I miss you already.”

Her heart clenched.

She stared at the message for a long time, her thumb hovering over the keyboard, unable to decide what to say. She didn’t want to lie. She didn’t want to keep pretending everything was clear when her soul felt like it was standing in a fog.

I miss you too… she started to type.

But then deleted it.

Instead, she threw the phone aside and curled deeper into the couch, pulling her knees to her chest.

In that moment, June realized something painful and true:

Before she could love anyone else really love them she had to finally make peace with herself.