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Chapter Thirteen: All I needed
Last Updated:
2025-04-14 04:31:05
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"He is my friend," I breathed, my eyes tightly shut. The lie tasted bitter on my tongue. I hated saying it, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. We were all in the same college, just different majors. Running into each other was inevitable, and the last thing I wanted was tension or drama between the two of them—my past and present can not collide. Jake was the bane of my existence. We met during my first year. I remember sitting alone, struggling with a biology assignment—trying and failing to sketch the internal organs. That was when he walked over, confident and easy, offering to help. I declined, stubborn. But he didn’t leave. Natalie, Alice, and I met him at the same time. We were inseparable back then—the three musketeers. Somehow, Jake slipped into our trio like he belonged there, and from that day, we became friends. At least that’s how it started. I spent more and more time with him—during classes, after school, and eventually at his place. I didn’t plan to fall, but I
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I woke up to a message about a practical class. It had been scheduled earlier, but I’d completely forgotten. My chest tightened. I wanted to crash back into bed. It was a week before exams and everything felt like a blur. I needed time—to study, to breathe, to think.I called Jayden. He said he’d seen the schedule and would be in school.Dragging myself to the wardrobe, I shoved fabrics aside like they were obstacles in my way, searching frantically for my lab coat. I found it—crumpled in the laundry basket, smelling like sweat. I held it up, stared at it, then sighed. I didn’t even hesitate. I opened my sister’s side. She had two. One was clean.Relief washed over me.I tossed it into my bag, then rummaged through my bookshelf, scooping up notes, extra papers, and a pencil. My stomach growled. There was no way I was facing a practical class on an empty stomach. I had leftover sauce. I parboiled spaghetti and ate quickly, checking the time every two minutes like it might disappear.By
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By the time we got home, my stomach was growling. Jayden had picked up drinks and chicken on the way, and I couldn’t wait to tear into it.Normally, I’d barge in without thinking, but remembering I wasn’t alone, I paused at the door and knocked.“Come in!” Lydia called out from inside.My heart started racing. This was the first time I was introducing Jayden to my sister, and I silently prayed she’d like him just as much as I did. On our way in, we had run into Ava. She blinked at me— wide eyes and flushed cheeks. We said a quick hi and I rushed past her before she could launch into questions.As soon as we stepped into the room, Lydia sat up with a teasing grin.“Hmmm… who’s this handsome man?” I quickly introduced Jayden to my sister.We lived in a small studio with a family-sized bed, a kitchenette, and a tiny bathroom. It was cramped but cozy—our own little haven. The house was more like a shared family compound. The main duplex was empty, but the studio-style apartments in the b
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I had the weekend to prepare for exams. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I had to stop seeing Jayden for a while. We’d been spending so much time together—doing the things we both enjoyed, things I maybe enjoyed a little too much—and even though my body still tingled at the memory of our last weekend together, I knew I needed to focus. No distractions. Just me, my books, and maybe a little caffeine to keep me from collapsing halfway through.The thought of having a carryover in my final year was terrifying. My dad would probably kill me—or maybe not literally, but close. Things were tight at home, and he was already doing more than he could afford to make sure I stayed in school. I couldn’t let any of his efforts go to waste. All I’d ever wanted was to make my parents proud. They went through a lot every single day just to keep me going, and the guilt of knowing that weighed heavier than any textbook I had to read. Our school fees had been increased by ten percent that semester—j
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I left Jayden’s apartment early that morning, careful not to make a sound as we closed the door behind me. Felix was still knocked out on the couch, a blanket half-slipping off him. For a second, I almost turned back, almost crawled back into Jayden’s bed and pretended none of this real-world stuff existed. Jayden walked me to where I got a bus and we kissed good bye. He was going to his apartment where he stays with his cousin—his real apartmentThe seminar was coming up. And no amount of pretending was going to stop it. The days between then and Tuesday felt like a blur — half stress, half fatigued.I’d sit hunched over my phone for hours. Obsessing over every single PowerPoint slide. Changing fonts. Rewording bullet points. Adding animations, then deleting them because they felt “too much.”Ava, my neighbor and lowkey study buddy came over every evening, throwing questions at me until I wanted to scream. She was brutal in the best way — every awkward pause I made during practice, s
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When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty-Six: His to Claim
The moment I laid eyes on him, my heart felt like it wanted to leap out of my chest and run straight to him. He smiled and waved—everything inside me melted. Warmth spread low in my belly. When I finally reached him, he pulled me into a soft hug. It made everything worse. My whole body felt like a grenade waiting to explode.He took my hand, and we walked together toward the house.By the time we reached the gate, I was stunned. The building towered over anything I’d ever called home—especially my tiny studio. It was a story building with two thick pillars standing guard in front. The compound was neatly German-floored. I immediately fell in love with the place—I imagined kids running around. "Slow down Sharon you haven't graduated." I muttered silently.Inside, the sitting room was something out of a movie. A massive chandelier dangled in the middle of the room, casting soft light across everything. A wide, luxurious sofa stretched out in front of a huge TV—I couldn’t even guess t
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty Five: Roads that lead to him
I closed the door behind me, then stood there for a second, just listening to the quiet. I hadn't even picked a bag I'd use yet. I didn't want the bag too big so he wouldn't think I was moving in—that would be embarrassing. I picked up my tote bag. Placed it on the bed half-open and empty, like it was waiting for me to figure out what I was doing.Honestly, I didn’t even know what to pack. It wasn’t like I was going on a trip. I mean, technically I was, but not really. I wasn’t visiting family or going for a weekend away with friends. I was going to Jayden’s. Just me. Just him.Finally.I sat on the edge of the bed and dragged the bag closer. I’d already tossed in a pair of lounge wear shorts earlier. Soft ones, black, nothing too fancy. Just enough to feel comfortable without looking like I tried too hard. I added a tank top to go with it. Then, after way too much hesitation, one pair of underwear. Just one. I don’t know why. Maybe I thought packing more would feel too… suggestive?
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty Four: Just Another Day
As usual I woke up late and ended up spending the morning with Ava. We literally lived in each others house. We were running round the kitchen fixing a meal. Chatting away while the food almost burned.The kitchen smelled like garlic—and not in a good way.“I think it’s burning,” I leaned over the stove, trying not to choke on the bitter scent.Ava waved the wooden spoon like a weapon. “It’s not burning. It’s toasting.”“That’s literally the same thing.”“Nope. Toasted garlic sounds intentional.” Ava fanned the pan dramatically. “Burnt just makes me sound careless.”I laughed and stepping back, clutching my water bottle. “Okay, Chef. But if we both end up with food poisoning, I’m blaming you.”“You already do,” Ava muttered, tossing the onions in with the sizzling garlic. “Anyway. Let’s talk about what really matters.”“Which is?” I ask raising a brow“Jayden.”“Nope.....you're gonna burn down the kitchen because of juicy gossips."“Yup.”“Nope.”Ava turned with a sly grin. “Why are y
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty-three: A Promise Without Words
Sunlight spilled into the room, and the chatter of a few people outside reached my ears. My phone felt like a weight in my hand as I squinted at the screen. 11:15 AM. I couldn't believe I had slept that long. Stumbling out of bed, I dragged myself to the bathroom. My eyes were barely open, but I mechanically grabbed my toothbrush and squeezed out more toothpaste than necessary. I went through the motions, scrubbing absentmindedly. Once I finished, I groggily stumbled back out, my stomach growling in protest. I was starving.I made my way to the tiny kitchen, opening the cupboard and glancing at the sparse supplies. I hadn't cooked anything yet. Thank god Ava had fed me yesterday. I scratched my head, wondering what I should make. Honestly, I could barely think straight. Pasta, I decided. Simple enough. I threw on the loose tee and shorts I’d worn yesterday, tossing my nightwear into the laundry basket.As I enter the kitchen, I realized I didn’t even have tomato paste. I groaned. I re
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty-Two: Something like peace
After the rounds of pictures were done, I made sure I’d packed up everything. I wasn’t planning on stepping foot back into that school until the entire three-week break was over. Well… technically, it was two weeks now. The whole presentation thing already stole one week from our break, which was honestly just heartbreaking.I plugged in my earpiece, letting the music take over as I walked home. Every beat, every lyric—it felt like a soundtrack to my relief. Bianca stayed back at the dormitory. Too bad—we couldn’t walk home together. Natalie and I used to go home together but things had changed. I missed that already.The moment I got home, I stripped out of my clothes and slipped into a loose t-shirt and shorts. My feet barely hit the floor before I was already heading straight to Ava’s apartment. I was starving.Knock, knock.I paused at her door, waiting.“Come in,” she called from inside.I didn’t hesitate. I pushed the door open and made a run for the kitchenette.“What did you c
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty-one: Unexpected Turns
I left Jayden’s apartment early that morning, careful not to make a sound as we closed the door behind me. Felix was still knocked out on the couch, a blanket half-slipping off him. For a second, I almost turned back, almost crawled back into Jayden’s bed and pretended none of this real-world stuff existed. Jayden walked me to where I got a bus and we kissed good bye. He was going to his apartment where he stays with his cousin—his real apartmentThe seminar was coming up. And no amount of pretending was going to stop it. The days between then and Tuesday felt like a blur — half stress, half fatigued.I’d sit hunched over my phone for hours. Obsessing over every single PowerPoint slide. Changing fonts. Rewording bullet points. Adding animations, then deleting them because they felt “too much.”Ava, my neighbor and lowkey study buddy came over every evening, throwing questions at me until I wanted to scream. She was brutal in the best way — every awkward pause I made during practice, s
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty: When The night Turns Soft
After the final exams on Friday, I spent the whole of Saturday sleeping—trying to revive my energy so I could function like a real human being again. By Sunday afternoon, around 1 p.m., I was sitting in the garage at the front of our building. It wasn’t really used for cars since none of us had one—we were all college students, so we’d converted the open garage space into a study and hangout area. The shed above gave just enough shade to make it bearable.I stared at the empty document on my phone, fingers hovering. Blank. I had no idea how to begin. As always, once I started, the words would pour in, but that beginning? Torture. I sighed and decided to work on Dom’s paper first. Mine could wait. "You can do this Sharon" I whispered to myselfThree hours later, I’d done the research, pulled in some articles, and outlined everything. Using the speech typing tool helped speed things up. I wrapped up the entire work—from introduction to literature review and references. Clean. Precise. M
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Nineteen: The Weight Of Wanting More
I had the weekend to prepare for exams. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I had to stop seeing Jayden for a while. We’d been spending so much time together—doing the things we both enjoyed, things I maybe enjoyed a little too much—and even though my body still tingled at the memory of our last weekend together, I knew I needed to focus. No distractions. Just me, my books, and maybe a little caffeine to keep me from collapsing halfway through.The thought of having a carryover in my final year was terrifying. My dad would probably kill me—or maybe not literally, but close. Things were tight at home, and he was already doing more than he could afford to make sure I stayed in school. I couldn’t let any of his efforts go to waste. All I’d ever wanted was to make my parents proud. They went through a lot every single day just to keep me going, and the guilt of knowing that weighed heavier than any textbook I had to read. Our school fees had been increased by ten percent that semester—j
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Eighteen: Safe Haven
By the time we got home, my stomach was growling. Jayden had picked up drinks and chicken on the way, and I couldn’t wait to tear into it.Normally, I’d barge in without thinking, but remembering I wasn’t alone, I paused at the door and knocked.“Come in!” Lydia called out from inside.My heart started racing. This was the first time I was introducing Jayden to my sister, and I silently prayed she’d like him just as much as I did. On our way in, we had run into Ava. She blinked at me— wide eyes and flushed cheeks. We said a quick hi and I rushed past her before she could launch into questions.As soon as we stepped into the room, Lydia sat up with a teasing grin.“Hmmm… who’s this handsome man?” I quickly introduced Jayden to my sister.We lived in a small studio with a family-sized bed, a kitchenette, and a tiny bathroom. It was cramped but cozy—our own little haven. The house was more like a shared family compound. The main duplex was empty, but the studio-style apartments in the b
