Part 56

"It's too late for that," Claire shrugged. "But I won't push you," she finally replied. She didn't want to bring up Antony's past, especially if it would hurt him. Although she was indeed curious.

"Let's just say your marriage to Flavia's mother ended. And I conclude it didn't end well," Claire continued. Antony nodded. "But why did you choose to give Flavia up to your parents?"

Antony smiled sadly again. "The end of our marriage shattered me completely at that time. My world, which I thought was perfect, seemed to collapse with just one divorce certificate."

"Seeing Flavia felt like a reminder of the biggest mistake and failure of my life. I unjustly blamed that innocent little baby. The truth is, from the beginning, I was the one at fault. I was the one who didn't listen when my mother and aunts forbade me from marrying Flavia's mother.

"I was the one who forced myself to hold on to something that I never truly possessed from the start. Love made me blind, and I got swept away in it all.

"Looking at Flavia always hurt me. And selfishly, I gradually began to distance myself from that innocent baby. I chose to stay busy with work, ignoring her completely. I closed my eyes to everything about Flavia. I handed all my authority over her to my parents.

"I know I was wrong. I was selfish. Very selfish. I was a man who didn't want to be defeated. And I was defeated by a baby who could only look at me with her beautiful, round eyes.

"But I never once felt touched by her. I felt numb. Because once again, seeing her only reminded me of the biggest mistake I ever made.

"In those early years, I even left Manhattan and chose to live in remote cities. Claiming that I wanted to grow the business, I never went back home, nor did I try to contact my family or even ask about Flavia.

"I got all the news about Flavia from Altezza or Gian, who occasionally visited me. Before I knew it, five years had passed by the time I returned to Manhattan, and Flavia was already in school. She had grown into a beautiful and adorable girl. But she was afraid of me." Antony smiled sadly.

"Afraid?" Claire looked at him in disbelief.

Antony nodded. "How could she not be afraid? Just imagine what would happen when she first saw someone like me!" he scoffed. "A scary old face with a beard and mustache covering it. All children would be afraid, including my own. Especially since my face, whether I was smiling or not, looked equally terrifying." Antony chuckled to himself, and Claire joined in, laughing at how he was mocking himself. "What? Are you making fun of me?" Antony asked, frowning.

Claire shrugged. "I just remember Bella saying she thought the decorations on your face were very sexy." Claire replied honestly.

"Really? Then what about you? What did you think of me when you first saw me?" he asked again.

Claire shrugged again. "I just saw you as a sleazy guy," she said honestly, making Antony's eyes widen. "You came with a woman in a sexy dress, and you were flirting behind me. What else was I supposed to think?" Claire tried to defend herself.

Now it was Antony who shrugged. "I was at fault too. I just wanted to be seen as a normal man, which is why I was willing to be with Anastasia," Antony replied gloomily.

"Normal man?" Claire asked back, confused.

"After separating from Flavia's mother, I distanced myself from all women. I spent five years in isolation, and when I returned to Manhattan, I ended up getting teased by Altezza." A mischievous smile appeared on Antony's face. "At that time, he was twenty-six, but he was different from me at that age. Altezza loved a free lifestyle. That doesn't mean he was a free-love advocate," Antony clarified before Claire could jump to conclusions. "But Altezza is the opposite of me. He's outgoing and sociable. He has many friends from all walks of life. Even so, he's a night owl. He loves going to clubs. Although he has many female friends, he knows his limits.

"When he could make out with girls, I was the opposite. I was numb. I couldn't even touch anyone; just being close made me uncomfortable. And that made me the subject of jokes. To Altezza, I was like a monk who was a vegetarian. He said I couldn't enjoy life.

"He told me that even if I felt numb, I had to appear normal in front of everyone. No matter how much I had been hurt by women, I had to always look fine. At least being a jerk was better than appearing like a gay man."

"Altezza said that?" Claire asked incredulously. Antony nodded.

"You can ask him about it. But five years ago, he had changed and went back on his own words," Antony chuckled. "Do you know I started a business by opening a production house?"

"You mentioned that earlier."

Antony nodded. "That business was later continued by my mother. In six years, it grew rapidly. That's when I began to become the 'jerk' that Altezza suggested."

Claire furrowed her brow again. "You mean by dating the models in your own company?" she asked in disbelief. Antony nodded.

"It was all on paper, and I did it to cover up my numbness. Including with Anastasia."

Claire scoffed. "You mean to say you had no real relationship with Anastasia other than your 'need' to 'look normal' in front of people?" Antony nodded. Claire scoffed again.

"I know you don't believe that. And it's impossible to confirm with Anastasia because that would only hurt her ego. But I can provide you with the contract that Anastasia signed, or you can ask some of the models who were my dates. They will answer honestly. Not because I'm bribing them, but because they know our relationship was purely contractual."

Claire stared at Antony again, unsure. "I don't know. I'm not convinced," she replied. "Back to Flavia. After five years, she was afraid of you. So why didn't you try to get close to her again?"

Antony smiled. Claire was indeed a clever woman. It was very difficult to change her beliefs and way of thinking. Antony took a deep breath.

"I was at fault again. I thought that the love Flavia received was enough. She got plenty of love from my parents and a lot of affection from Altezza. So I was sure she didn't feel a lack of it.

"And I, once again, chose to focus back on my work, opting to watch over Flavia in my own way."

"Do you mean by fulfilling all her desires?" Claire asked. Antony nodded. "But your parents could fulfill all of that," Claire pointed out. Antony nodded again.

"I know, and I realize that. That's why all I felt at that time was guilt and shame. But I was confused about where to start.

"I was selfish. As an adult, I should have taken a more proactive approach with her. But I don't know, I always felt hesitant. Until I saw you," Antony replied.

Claire furrowed her brow. "What does that have to do with me, sir?"

Antony shrugged. "I don't know either," he said, puzzled. "Seeing you, who wouldn't even glance at me, pricked my ego. I intended to pursue you until I found out that you and Flavia had a good relationship.

"Honestly, I planned to get close to you through Flavia, not the other way around.

"I feel guilty. As a father, it's a sin for me to exploit my child for my own benefit. I used Flavia as an excuse to approach you. And when you realized all of that, you have no idea how ashamed I felt." Antony continued. "And now, if you want to hate me, I guess I have no choice."

Both Claire and Antony fell silent.

"Claire?" Antony asked hesitantly. Claire looked up and met the gaze of the man with golden eyes. "Say something," he urged softly.

Claire took a deep breath. "What should I say?" she asked, confused.

"Give me your thoughts. Do you hate me now? I know you dislike me more and more. But at least, say something," he pleaded softly.

Claire bit her lower lip, trying her best not to say anything that would hurt him. She took a deep breath and looked closely at him.

"Instead of saying something, can I do something?" she asked Antony.

Antony looked back at her, then nodded. "Go ahead. At least that's better than silence."

Claire clenched her hands tightly, wondering if she was worthy or had the right to do what was on her mind. She counted in her head until she raised her hand and...