BUILDED ATTRACTION 22

In the small hours, watching as the first tendrils of light found the gaps in the curtains at her bedroom window, she experienced a whole panoply of emotions. Anger. Disgust. Excitement. Regret.

She went from being angry with herself for not having turned and walked out of Malcolm’s loft as soon as she’d seen what was going on, to being so sexually excited at the memories of what had happened that her whole body came alive, her nipples stiffened, her sex moist. She experienced disgust and revulsion at what she had seen — at what she’d allowed herself to participate in - followed instantly by regret that she had not done more, that she had not had the courage to take the black stripper or pursue the desire she had felt to see if the experiment with Liza could have been repeated with Angela. She regretted, more than anything, that she’d told Gary she was tired and wanted to go home alone.

It was all very confusing and lack of sleep didn’t help. She couldn’t work out whether she was an