Expulsion

5

Rosie

The New Year went by in the blink of an eye and I didn’t know how it went. I’ve been cooped up in bed after being saved by Kira from dying of hypothermia after standing in the snow for hours. I fell ill for days and Kira nursed me back to life.

What was the essence of living again?

Why am I still alive?

I thought and looked at the mirror again to look at myself, and I hated what I saw—My cheeks were puffy, my eyes sunken and tired, my lips cracked from the fever I’d had for days. My nose looked wrong. My hair was a tangled mess of waves that had given up on life, and my freckles stood out against my pale skin like little reminders of everything I hated about myself not perfect like my gorgeous twin sister.

I never hated myself more than this. I quickly glanced away from it. I didn’t want those thoughts creeping into my head now. The dark thoughts that had been lurking at the edges of my mind for days, whispering that maybe it would be easier to just disappear. I would need to be clear-headed for today’s class. I couldn’t afford to fall apart now.

School resumed. Spring semester started today. Six months to finish my program. I couldn’t let this disrupt my perfect GPA.

Six months remained to finish my program and I couldn’t wait to finish it and run away from this hellhole called Silverwestern. Six more months and I could leave this place behind, start over somewhere new where nobody knew me.

Kira walked out of the shower, a towel wrapped around her chest as she stared at me, her gaze softening as she moved to me. “We can skip today if you want,” Kira offered, and I shook my head. I couldn’t do that to her. Make her miss school on the first day. She has done enough for me these days.

“I just can’t hide forever,” I mumbled. “I need to face it now,” I said, though I didn’t know if I could really face it or if I was putting on a front. I put some books in my bag and did my best not to look at the mirror again. I’d had enough of crying, wallowing in anguish.

After Kira was done dressing up, she drove me to campus in perfect silence, which I appreciated.

School looked different. Although the Christmas lights and tree designs were still up, the school looked different as students got out of their cars and walked to their respective places. Everyone seemed so normal, so carefree, friends grinning at one another.

I came out of the car, breathed in deeply as my bag slung behind me while I held the handle tightly for dear life. I dropped my head down and walked through the campus, but something felt off and different. I could feel eyes on me, students staring at me like I had a stigma at the top of my head. Well, I really had a stigma on my head. The scarlet letter of the digital age—exposed, judged, and humiliated.

Whispers started flying around the hallway and I gripped the handle tighter so hard that my knuckles ached, still walking to my class. Some people were really openly staring at me, not even hiding it.

I could catch some words floating around.

"That’s her.”

“The video girl.”

“Can you believe...”

My skin crawled with every step. I wanted to run away and kept my head down, wishing to reach my class quicker. It felt like the hallway looked longer than I remembered.

As I entered my class, students were already there and I gulped. God, the eyes are too much! I wanted to go back to the comfort of Kira’s house.

A guy from the back seat said, ”Yo, you looking for another guy to film with?” and all the students erupted in laughter.

“I got a camera, just saying.”

More laughter filled the room as I found my way to my seat, my face burned with humiliation. My hands shook as I clutched my bag, trying to make myself invisible.

"Slut!”

“Homewrecker. Josh deserves better.”

As I wanted to sit down, something hit me on my shoulder. I looked down to see that it was crumpled paper that had been thrown.

"Hey, yo available for one night? Asking for a friend.”

“Nah man, she’s probably expensive after going viral.”

I quickly sat down in my seat, my eyes burned with tears as I stared at the desk like it was the most favorite thing on earth. I traced the scratches in the wood with my finger, focusing on anything but the voices around me, the laughter, the cruel comments that kept coming.

When I couldn’t take the stares and whispers anymore, I ran out of the class as the professor wanted to enter. I collided with him and fell on my ass. But that didn’t stop the students from snickering. I quickly stood up and ran away with my bag clutched to my chest, ignoring the professor calling after me.

As I rounded the corner, I froze. There they were—Josh and Sophia, Mila, Tyler, and Brad with them. They were laughing at something on their phone and my stomach dropped.

Probably me.

Probably that video.

Sophia looked up, grinned, pulled Josh down. They kissed—long, sensual. My own twin sister kissing my ex-boyfriend, making sure I saw. She smirked directly at me—a cruel smile that said she’d won, that she’d always been the better twin.

And I swiftly turned around, my stomach turning as their mocking laughter followed me. Bile rose in my throat. I thought I might throw up right there in the hallway.

And show them an epic show of humiliation.

Then I heard Tyler jeer, “Damn, she actually showed up.”

Why did I come here? What was I thinking? Would that things ever be normal again?

Humans were cruel. 

I couldn’t breathe, I could feel my heart constrict within the confinement of my ribcage. I needed air.

I ran to the little spot I had here in school, my only solace in this school, but I was stopped in my tracks, my breath hitched when I saw graffiti.

"Slut”

“Cheater”

“Whore”

There were even some crude images drawn on the wall. My hands shook as I stared at it, tears running down my face. The only person who knew this place was Sophia. My eyes stayed on the image, then my phone buzzed, pulling me out of my mental breakdown.

A message. “Please report to Dean Waterson’s office immediately.” My stomach twisted from the message, my throat bobbed with dread. I walked to the administration building. Every step felt like I was walking to my execution, my heart pounded so hard I thought it might burst from my chest.

As I reached the secretary, she looked at me with barely concealed disgust. “Dean Waterson is expecting you. Go right in.”

I swallowed and opened the door to see a woman sitting behind a large desk—a middle-aged woman, professional, and her face cold and expressionless. She didn’t even offer me a seat and slid a paper across the desk.

“I’m sure you know why you’re here, Ms. Martinez,” the woman said.

NOTICE OF EXPULSION in bold at the top of the paper. The words blurred in front of my eyes. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real.

The Dean continued, “The video that has circulated depicts behavior unbecoming of a Silverwestern student.” She readjusted her glasses. “You’ve tarnished the reputation of this institution.” She cleared her throat. “We cannot allow students who engage in such activities to remain enrolled.”

“Ma’am, I’m a final—” she raised her hands up sharply, cutting me off.

“That’s not relevant to our decision,” she said. “What matters is that your presence here has become disruptive.” And she used her hands to make a steeple under her chin. “Students are uncomfortable. Parents are calling. We have to protect the integrity of Silverwestern University.”

My voice shook. “This isn’t fair—”

“Fair or not, the decision has been made,” she injected coldly. “You have 48 hours to vacate campus housing and remove your belongings. Your student ID will be deactivated as of this afternoon.” She said, “You’re no longer a student here.”

I stared at the paper in disbelief. “Can I appeal this?”

The Dean shook her head. “The decision is final. Sign the acknowledgement form at the bottom.”

My hands shook as I took the pen she passed to me and signed it.

Dean took the form. “You may go,” she said in cold dismissal.

I walked out of the office in a daze, the expulsion letter clutched in my hands. Three and a half years of college—gone. My degree was gone. My future was gone. All because of a video I didn’t consent to. All because I’d trusted the wrong people. All because I’d been stupid enough to believe someone like me could be loved.