CHAPTER 1

Five years...

David

With my palms sweating and my heart heavy with every step, I pray it's a terrible mistake, a heartless prank. The ambulance siren dulls my senses, making it difficult to think logically, and I have to decide between ignoring the agonizing noise and continuing on my way. However, the crowd continues to block my way, forcing me to take the drastic and desperate step of pushing until I reach the scene of the accident.

Lying on the gray, bumpy avenue are the lifeless bodies of my wife and son. I have to blink a few times to believe what my eyes are showing me, to make sure it's not a terrible nightmare.

An immeasurable pain takes hold of my soul and a loud roar comes from my throat, drawing the attention of the curious. I ignore the looks of pity directed at me and approach the bodies of my son and wife. Ignoring the policeman's warnings, I take my first-born son in my arms, feeling his already cold skin covered in blood. I look in the direction of the car my wife was driving, the dents indicate the intensity of the accident and my eyes burn, every part of my body seems to be pierced by thousands of tiny needles, anger and indignation are now mixed with pain. I immediately look for the other vehicle, finding the silver BMW X6 not far away and just as worn out as the Celta Lígia I was driving. I look for the person who caused my misfortune, wanting to make him feel the same.

Anger fills me, making my vision go dark. I drop Luís Miguel's body and run towards the man, I still don't know exactly what happened, but there are rumors about the unfortunate man being drunk.

Fuck!

My family died and the bastard only got bruises.

This is not happening!

Is not fair.

I advance on top of the unfortunate, grabbing his neck with both my hands and squeezing hard, feeling his skin heat up under my palm. He struggles, trying to push me away.

"Lord, release him!" The cop says, pulling me away from the bastard, asking his partner for help.

“ Let me go.” I scream, feeling a huge strength grow inside me.

I break away from the policeman and jump back to the neck of the bastard, the man is massaging the area that was under my grip when he notices my approach and tries to run away, but I grab him by the arm and from behind, I try to apply a rear naked choke.

“God…” I hear a cop mutter, looking at me like I'm from another planet.

They do not understand. They cannot understand the pain of a man who has just lost his most precious possessions, the only family he had, due to someone else's irresponsibility.

I've always been passive, adept at solving problems with dialogue and never with violence. My profession has always required patience and self-control, after all I deal with a lot of rebellious children. But right now, sir, I just want to kill this bastard and then end my life.

Meet Lígia and Luís Miguel on the other plane.

"Pull him!" Someone screams.

I feel two male arms encircle me from behind, gripping my waist tightly and pulling. Another cop tries to take my hands off the man, but I'm pushing too hard for them to, more men arrive and take me away.

"I'm sorry sir. It was an accident." one of them murmurs and I look at him, noting the understanding and empathy in his eyes.

“An accident that cost my family their lives.” I growl, feeling my throat burn as I say those words out loud.

He lowers his head, guiding me toward the other men, but these are dressed as first responders.

"The bastard is drunk!" I say to the policeman who is still at my side, escorting me like I'm a fucking bandit.

My head is aching, throbbing from this damn nightmare.

He doesn't say anything for a while, stopping suddenly, causing me to stop walking with him. Eyes intrigued, then his left hand comes to my shoulder, squeezing weakly and within a few seconds he's hugging me.

"He'll pay." He whispers, still keeping me in his arms, and only then do I realize how much I needed this gesture.

My sobs come back hard, my shoulders slumping tiredly.

And all I can think is that it won't be enough, no matter how many years the poor guy spends in jail, at the end of the night, when I get home from a hard day at work, I'll be alone around the table, wallowing in my misery. And loneliness, missing the days when I had my son and wife with me.

Nothing can bring them back.

Nothing.

The officer releases me, squeezing my shoulder again and nodding toward where the first responders are.

“They need you to release the bodies. Do you have any other family members who can help you?

I shake my head.

"No, it's just me now." I say, feeling a bitter taste in my mouth.

We planned to have another child.

A girl, to be honest.

The officer's eyes, which I now realize are an almost black brown, scrutinize me.

"Are you in a position to handle this?" His voice is calm, controlled, I can compare to the one I usually use with my students.

"I'll take care of it." I look away to where their bodies are, my chest hurts.

“All right. Let's go.” He guides me back to the walk, introducing me to the team of rescuers who still tried to save my son's life, it seems Luiz Miguel didn't die immediately, but suffered an internal hemorrhage and couldn't hold out for long.

I swallow hard, imagining her pale, pain-filled figure, feeling the life slip away from her.

DAMN!

My son was so young.

I'm just shaking my head at the information being given to me, still waiting to wake up and realize it was just a bad dream.

“Sir?” I stare at the woman, arms extending a shitload of papers.

Which is?

Screw this! I do not want to know.

“You must sign here and here.” She points, showing the black lines lined up.

I nod, signing the documents with an initial. She pulls away, giving me a rueful smile before leaving for good.

The bodies are taken. The people are gradually dispersing, from here I can see the exact moment that the damn driver who killed my family is taken in a car and contrary to what I imagined, seeing him handcuffed does not bring me any satisfaction.

The cop who hugged me, comes over to me again, asks if I need someone to take me home, all I do is shake my head, wishing everyone would finally leave me alone. He tells me that the bodies will be released tomorrow and the funeral home will take care of the whole process, he called to ask for it himself.

Thank you, knowing that I wouldn't have the strength to take care of that part.

A few minutes later, he also leaves, asking me to do the same.

But I don't, I just lean against my own car, unable to take my eyes off the blood on the ground, knowing there's nothing for me at home or anywhere else.

My life ended today, with theirs.