6| Motel (part 1)

Almost 5 hours had passed since Jaxon and I left the station, and I already felt like it had been an eon. I shifted in my seat, crossing my legs and hugging my arms tight to my chest for comfort and warmth.

"You okay?" Jaxon asked, turning the radio down a few notches. This was the first thing he said to me since we left; I must not have moved much until now. Although his question was nice, it seemed he was trying to keep me at a distance; like he asked more for common curtesy rather than legitimate concern.

But to answer his question, no. I was in no way okay.

My arm was throbbing from the gun shot, I had whiplash starting to kick in from the car flipping, and I was freezing from the inside out. But, the absolute worst part, was knowing that everything was about to change, and knowing that my poor father was left behind, on his own, to sell my death to everyone.

So no... not okay, Jaxon.

"Emery?" He asked again while still remaining focused on the road. This time though, I did catch a little hint of genuine concern in his voice mixed in with the usual sharp command.

I wiped the waterfall of tears still streaming from my eyes and decided to tell him the one thing he could fix. "I'm freezing. Can we turn on the heat, please?" That was the best he was going to get out of me for now; I was too emotionally drained.

His mouth pressed into a hard line as if he was unsatisfied with my answer, but he didn't push me to say any more. He just clicked on the heat to full blast and turned the radio up.

A couple more hours passed without another word exchanged between the two of us. I wanted to rest my eyes or take a nap, but I couldn't shut my mind off enough to do so. I finally decided to steal a glance at the clock.

12:25 AM.

What a long night. It didn't feel real. The more hours that passed, the further I was going away from my dad; my only family. I let another tear fall but wiped it away subtly with my palm, faking that I was just tired.

"There's a motel up ahead in about a mile," Jaxon said without looking my way, "We're expected at the orientation center at 7 AM. We can stop and get some rest for a couple hours here and get on the road again at 3:30."

"Is it... is it safe to stop? What if they know I'm alive and someone's following us?" This question came from the fear I felt when I realized I had been followed out of the grocery store parking lot. "I mean... could that ha-happen?"

My throat felt tight and raw from my sobbing. I had cried all my tears and was left feeling scared and empty. I could literally hear the fear and sadness in my own voice, and hoped Jaxon didn't notice. He didn't exactly seem to have the most comforting persona.

His hands gripped the wheel tighter. "Emery, it's my job to keep you safe and that's what I will do. Nobody is following us; I promise."

He sounded so sure, but he also sounded a little annoyed? I wasn't trying to offend him or question his ability to keep me safe, but maybe that's how he took it? I had no other choice but to trust this man, and I hoped my initial impression of him was wrong.

I had no doubt that he was good at his job, but since I'd be spending time with him for god knows how long, I hoped we could get along on some degree without me always feeling so uncomfortable around him; I didn't even want to ask him any questions for fear of annoying him further.

"Okk-kay," I said as a large shudder tore through my body.

"Besides, it's like 100 degrees in here, and you're still shaking. I think stopping for a minute so you can take a hot shower and try and calm down is a good idea."

"Yyy-yeah maybe. I'm sss-sorry; if you're too hot you can turn it down. I'm sure it-it's just the nerves," I now felt a little bad that I had been oblivious to the 100 degree state of the car, yet was oddly flattered he put his discomfort aside for me.

"It's fine. We're almost there anyway. Speaking of, just so you're aware, we will be sharing a room tonight. The first night can be the most dangerous without your new identity, and I can't protect you if I'm too far away."

Normally, I'd be much more freaked out to be spending the night with such an attractive and intimidating man, but my poor, emotional brain latched onto one word and one word only: dangerous.

My eyes went wide as I stared at him. "You think tonight's going to be dangerous?!" I squeaked out.

Jaxon quickly looked at me, his expression shifting to a look I didn't recognize before answering. "No, Emery... I'm sorry. I just meant, we can't be too careful tonight."

"Oh... right. That's fine," I said, not that he had asked; he more so informed me. I'm not sure how most people acted in this kind of situation, but I was pretty sure I wasn't handling it well.

Soon after, Jax pulled into a motel a little ways off the highway. There weren't many cars in the parking lot, and the entire place looked sort of vacant. Not all letters on their sign were lit up, and gusts of wind were blowing up dust from the dirt parking lot.

The entire scene of this motel looked eerie and quiet, and honestly, it gave me the spooks. Jaxon, on the other hand, looked completely unfazed by its disheveled appearance.

"Okay. I'm going to go get the room key," he said while unclipping his seat belt. "Stay here where it's warm, and I'll be right back."

I knew it wouldn't take him long, but the thought of being left alone in this car, in a creepy motel parking lot, and feeling as emotionally exhausted as I did, horrified me; I couldn't sit here alone. He opened the door and stepped out.

"Wait, Jaxon!" I said in a voice I didn't quite recognize as my own. "Can I... can I please come with you?"

He blinked at me and cleared his throat before speaking. "Um... no. You're really not supposed to. You shouldn't be seen by any civilians between now and your new identity; Besides, it's safe here. We weren't being followed, the truck will be locked, and there aren't any customers around."

My heart pounded. It made sense, but I didn't like it. "Oh... okay. Please be fast then?" I said trying, and failing, to not sound as needy as I felt.

He gave me a sharp nod and closed the door. The silence was instant and it was consuming. I placed my head in my hands and watched Jaxon start towards the motel. Flashes of the crime played in my brain, and I let out a silent sob. The further away he got from me, the more uneasy I felt.

At this rate, I felt I'd have a full on panic attack by the time he would return.

Just then, Jaxon stopped in his tracks, ran a hand through his hair, and started back towards the truck. It was almost like he had heard my cry, although I knew that was impossible. I quickly wiped my tears away just as he opened my door.

"Okay, you can come. But stay by me and try not to say much," he said; his tone sharp and commanding.

"Thank you," I half whispered while he backed up to give me room to hop out.

I slid to the edge of the seat and jumped down, but my knees buckled and almost gave out when I landed. All the adrenaline and shaking had left me feeling weaker than I thought, and being in a car for several hours didn't help.

I nearly collapsed when Jaxon seized me around the waist, holding me up. I reflexively reached out, latching on to his muscular forearms as he caught me.

"Woah, hey... you okay?" He asked, his ice blue eyes piercing mine. He had a faint sheen of sweat covering his forehead from the hot temperature in the car, and I could feel the muscles in his biceps work to place me back on my feet. His tone betrayed his hard exterior, and concern shined through for the first time since we met.

I shook my head to snap out of it. "Yeah... I'm sorry. My knees kind of just gave out," I blushed a little as I spoke. I was embarrassed that I fell. "Thank you," I offered.

He nodded and slowly released his grip, making sure I was stable first. "Sure. Are you ready?" He asked, his tone returning to normal.

I nodded, and I made sure to follow close to him as we walked quickly into the motel entrance.